Somebody That I Used to Love
by AliceSwan921
Summary: Sequel to "Somebody That I Used to Know". This story picks up for the 2nd part of S6, after the flash forward. This is a Hanily fic with a little Paily thrown in to keep things interesting. Mature only for select chapters. Special thanks to @guttergrowl for being my Beta!
1. Chapter 1

Dear Hanna,

There isn't much time, but I wanted you to see these words on paper and not on a screen. I wanted to know you were touching something that I touched, that we were connected.

We've been through things no other friends have experienced. We understand each other better than anyone else in the world.

BUT all that connects us to someone else. Someone I love. Someone who needs me.

I know you're coming back to Rosewood to speak to the court about Charlotte….

Hanna had read and re-read the letter a hundred times. She had only received the letter a few days before she needed to appear at the hearing. The others had probably gotten it sooner, but she had been in Europe for the last few months on business and her forwarded mail had been delayed in customs.

She re-folded the letter and put it back in the envelope, before taking another long sip of her vodka soda. She had several on the flight, trying to convince herself that she was just a nervous flyer, but knowing deep down that it wasn't the real reason for her anxiety. She was headed back to Rosewood.

She looked out the window and could almost make out the Manhattan skyline as the plane turned south to land in Philadelphia. Seeing the place she called home was bittersweet. She wished she was simply returning back to Jordan in New York. They had moved in together about a year ago, shortly after he proposed. She had been traveling so much anyway that it didn't make sense for her to have her own apartment. And when she wasn't traveling, she mostly stayed with Jordan, wanting to avoid staying at her old apartment, too many memories. Plus his was much larger than anything she could afford on her salary.

They had been together almost three years and were friends for a time before that. They met at an industry event in London. Hanna was there for an internship the summer after her freshman year. He had just graduated college and was working for his father's magazine publishing company. When he learned that she didn't have many friends or know anyone in the city, he introduced her around and welcomed her into his group of friends. They kept in touch after the summer with occasional texts and emails. He ended up moving to New York that winter to head up the US version of the magazine and they eventually began dating.

Jordan was funny, in his own way, but most of all caring. When Hanna met him that summer, her life had been in shambles and he was the friend she so desperately needed. He helped her to pick up the pieces to put herself back together, without ever needing to know why she was broken in the first place.

As much as she tried, it was hard not to think of that time in her life. Especially now, as she returned to Rosewood. She had seen Emily only once since that summer, at her father's funeral, less than a year later. They had talked texted a few times, mostly in group chats, but hadn't really kept in touch. Hanna blamed it on school and then eventually her career, but neither was the real reason. It was just easier to keep that distance there. Easier to ignore the pain and move on with her life. Which she had, with Jordan. Hanna looked down at her engagement ring reminding herself that she had nothing to worry about. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the seat letting out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.


	2. Chapter 2

Emily reached behind her to grab the bottle of whiskey and fill the glass in front of her. She slid the now full drink towards the end of the bar and then made change for another customer. Accepting a generous tip, Emily bent down to put the cash into her bag and saw the envelope again. She pulled it out of her purse and opened it. She had read it many times, but every time she did, she hoped it would somehow say something different.

She stopped about halfway through, knowing that it the end result was still the same. She needed to return to Rosewood. Even just thinking about going "home" made her feel sick. Rosewood was special, it was the place she grew up and discovered who she really was. But those memories were tainted because Rosewood was also the place she lived in fear of A and then later returned to bury her father.

Her mother still lived there, and they kept in touch, but mostly by phone, email, and text. They saw each other briefly on holidays at various relatives' homes throughout the country, but Emily never came back to Rosewood. She had plenty of excuses over the years, like school, practice, work, etc. but none of them were ever true. Her trip to Rosewood needed to be brief, so that her secrets wouldn't be exposed to her mother, her friends, or Hanna.

"…Hanna…" She thought to herself as she sighed deeply.

She had been included on Hanna's group text when she had gotten engaged to Jordan. She replied with the obligatory "Congratulations!" but they hadn't really interacted much since. She was sure that Hanna probably gushed over the story in separate texts with the girls, not wanting to create any awkwardness for Emily or the others. She knew she should be happy for Hanna, but she couldn't help thinking about the past.

 _[Flashback]_

 _Emily and Hanna arrived in New York and had spent the day apartment hunting. Each apartment they saw seemed to be smaller than the next, but they finally found one in Chelsea that they both agreed on and they signed the lease on the spot. In true Hanna fashion, she immediately wanted to start thinking about how to decorate their home together._

 _Hanna dragged Emily to a hundred furniture shops, but Emily didn't mind. She was excited to start this next chapter of their lives and knew this was Hanna's way to being excited as well. Finally at one of the last stores they were in, Hanna fell in love with a modern, yet beautiful, kitchen/dining room table. It was wildly expensive, but she insisted she had to have it. After begging and pleading, Emily finally gave in, but insisted they buy the version with the expansion leaf. She explained that it was more practical then because when they got married and eventually had a bigger place, they could fit their whole family around the table._

 _Hanna blushed but kept her gaze open and vulnerable as she looked at her beautiful girlfriend. They often discussed their future, but rarely so openly or in such a specific manner as marriage and children. Emily wrapped Hanna into a tight embrace in the middle of the store and whispered in her ear "I love you Hanna Marin, and I always will."_

 _[End flashback]_

Emily shook the memory from her thoughts almost as quickly as it had entered. That part of her life was over, and had been for a long time. At the end of the day, Emily cared about Hanna and wanted her to be happy. She was happy to see that Hanna had been able to create the life that she had always wanted for herself. Even if it was a life that Hanna had chosen over her, many years before.


	3. Chapter 3

The girls agreed to meet up at The Brew. It was practically a second home for them during high school and Emily was all too eager to agree to avoid her home, even if just for a few more hours.

Hanna arrived first, followed shortly by Aria. The girls immediately hugged and Aria caught her first glimpse of Hanna's engagement ring. She grabbed Hanna's hand to admire it. Aria began gushing as Hanna recounted the details of the romantic proposal. Both so distracted that neither noticed Emily or Spencer enter the café.

Hanna finally spotted them, she abruptly stopped talking. When she caught Emily's eyes, a strange sensation of guilt and embarrassment crept over her, causing her to look away quickly.

Emily had immediately stiffened at the sight of the ring and the beautiful blonde who had been showing it off, just moments before, but tried the best she could to pretend she was unaffected.

"It looked bigger in the photo you posted…" Spencer teased as they approached, trying to diffuse any tension between the reunion.

Hanna just laughed and pulled Spencer in for a hug, as Aria hugged Emily. Then they pulled away and Spencer turned to hug Aria. Hanna and Emily paused for a split second to look at one another, as if each trying to silently assess the situation, before both smiling softly and tentatively embracing in a brief hug.

Emily pulled away quickly; afraid that the electricity she felt from her proximity to Hanna would be detected. If she hadn't known better, she could have sworn that Hanna felt it too. But Hanna hadn't let anything show on her face to make Emily think it wasn't just wishful thinking on her own part.

The girls hadn't all been in one place in almost four years, so they had a lot of catching up to do. They spent the majority of the afternoon drinking coffee and talking about their lives. They seemed to fall back into the comfortable familiarity with each othe,r as they discussed their lives. Spencer talked about Washington and her fast rising political career. Aria, who worked for a publishing house told them all about her job as a Jr. Editor and her new boyfriend.

Emily told the girls about her sports medicine degree from Pepperdine and how she had qualified for the Rio Summer Olympics. She had made the team for the London Olympics but was sidelined with a minor shoulder injury that made her have to give up her spot on the team.

When the topic of love lives came up, Aria couldn't help but ask Hanna about her pending nuptials. Hanna kept her voice as even and calm as possible, even though she was nervous talking about it in front of Emily. While they had broken up years ago, they had never really talked about their break-up or cleared the air. It didn't help that they hadn't kept in touch the way she had with the other girls, Hanna had been unsure where Emily was in her own life, before today. But when Emily made a joke about dating an Italian girl once when Hanna talked about Italy as a potential location for the wedding, she felt a sense of relief, knowing she wasn't hurting Emily by talking about Jordan.

The rest of the afternoon went by quickly. Hanna, Spencer, and Aria, all seemed to be on the same page again and clicked, like they hadn't ever been apart. Things felt different for Emily though. She was happy for all of her friends and the lives they were leading, but that only made her feel that much worse about lying to all of them.

She had hoped her story was believable enough to make it through these next few days before she would leave Rosewood again. It was too hard on Emily to lie to her friend's faces rather than hiding between texts and emails. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it was especially hard seeing Hanna.

It had been a long time since they had been together, but if she was honest with herself, a part of her would always love her. She had dated others throughout the years, but had ever let herself fall in love. Hanna still owned a piece of Emily's heart, and that fact haunted Emily every day.

Emily was thankful to have her thoughts interrupted when Hanna announced that she had to leave to meet with her mother. Hanna said goodbye to them and Emily watched her leave the Brew with a mixture of longing and guilt. She looked away quickly, hoping that Spencer and Aria hadn't noticed.

Hanna went to Rosewood's newest hotel, the Radley Sanitarium, where her mother worked as the General Manager, for dinner. They shared a bottle of wine and waited for their meals, as Hanna updated her mother on all of the girls' lives. While her mother loved each of the girls, she had always had a special spot for Emily, even before they had become a couple. She kept in touch with Emily's mom, so she had probably known more about Emily's life than Hanna had in recent years, and was so proud of the woman Emily had become, and her many accomplishments.

Still though, a part of her never quite understood why the girls broke up in the first place. She had seen how strong their love was and had thought they could and would get through anything. Hanna often confided in her mother, but had never really shared much about what happened that summer or why they ultimately broke up. Ashley tried to bring up it sometimes, figuring those wounds were long healed, but Hanna never discussed it with her, or with anyone.


	4. Chapter 4

_[4 years earlier]_

 _It had been a hard year. It was their first year after high school and they were supposed to be spending it together in some tiny shoebox apartment in New York. But instead, it was Hanna who lived in the small studio in Chelsea, while Emily was in school across the country._

 _Emily had been contacted a few weeks after they had moved to New York that someone had dropped out of the swimming program at Pepperdine University and they were prepared to offer her a full scholarship. She only had only received a partial scholarship to NYU, and the school wasn't known for swimming the way that Pepperdine was._

 _Knowing that Emily had always dreamed of being an Olympic athlete, Hanna encouraged her to take the scholarship. They knew it would be hard being apart, but they promised to see each other every two weeks and spend all of their breaks together. After all, what's four years when you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone? They had made it through hell and back with A, distance wasn't going to stop them._

 _But it did._

 _They had promised to see each other every other weekend, but both of them were so busy. Between school, work, and swimming, it felt like neither one of them ever had a free moment. Despite their best efforts, their plans began to change. Every other weekend turned into every month and then every other month leading up to summer break. They were both so excited for summer because it was the only time that they wouldn't be weighed down by their other commitments. They made plans to go to Europe together and spend the entire summer backpacking through foreign countries and finally really being together as a couple again, for longer than a weekend._

 _As soon as classes were out for the year, Emily packed her bags and was on the next flight to New York. She knew that she was supposed to fly in the following day, but she wanted to surprise Hanna. She had a voicemail from Hanna that said she needed to talk to her about something, but she didn't want to ruin the surprise and figured it would just be better to talk in person tonight. After all, the long distance had been hard on them and they desperately needed to re-connect._

 _She touched down in New York and took the subway to the apartment she had picked out with Hanna almost a year ago. Hanna must have still been at school or work, because the apartment was empty when she arrived. Emily saw Hanna's luggage packed and sitting by the door, which made her smile. Clearly Hanna was just as excited about the trip as she was. Although, she had a feeling they were going to spend the night re-packing, because rolling designer suitcases aren't exactly practical for train travel and youth hostels._

 _Emily made herself at home, because after all, it was technically hers as well. She sat down at their kitchen table and reminisced about when they bought it. It symbolized their future together; they both imaged themselves owning it forever and watching their lives and family grow around it. But as Emily looked down at the table, it looked brand new and unused. It took Emily a moment before she realized why the table looked so new, it's because it was. Emily tried to recall the number of times that they had actually sat together at it and could count them on one hand._

 _She began really thinking about their relationship and how little they had actually seen each other over the last year. Her thoughts were interrupted though when she heard keys in the door and Hanna speaking loudly into her cell phone. Hanna came in so distracted that she didn't even notice Emily in the apartment until she had hung up her phone._

 _"Emily…OMG, you scared me! What are you doing here?" She asked confused as she dropped her purse on the kitchen table._

 _Emily tried not to notice the slight alarm in her voice. "I was just too excited to see you that I couldn't wait, I took an earlier flight! I missed you…" Emily said as she pulled Hanna in for a hello kiss._

 _Hanna kissed her back tentatively, before saying "I missed you too….but did you get my voicemail…?"_

 _"Yeah, but I figured it was about our trip and I didn't want to ruin the surprise. Why? What's up?" Emily replied._

 _Hanna sat down at the table next to Emily and explained that her boss had asked her to go to Paris for a month and work directly with a designer. This was a huge deal and something that almost no interns ever got to do. It was an opportunity that she couldn't pass up. In Hanna's mind, they were already going to Europe, so why not just spend the first month in Paris? After all, Paris is the most romantic city in the world and they'd have a real hotel room with privacy instead of a shared room at some run-down hostel._

 _Emily was disappointed but tried not to let it show. After all, Hanna had let her, and even encouraged her, to go to California to follow her dreams and that was the reason they were apart all year. So, she smiled and tried to make the most of it. They spent the rest of the night, making plans for what they wanted to do in Paris before leaving in a few short days._

 _For Hanna, the month in Paris flew by, but for Emily, it was torture. Hanna was always working and almost never around even on weekends. For the most part, Emily explored France alone. Not speaking the language and seeing all the happy couples made Emily feel even more alone. When Spencer came out for almost a whole week, Emily had hoped that Hanna would be around more, but Hanna only saw her twice the whole time. Finally by the end of the week, Spencer couldn't help but ask Emily about it. Emily explained to Spencer how lonely she was, but that didn't want to make Hanna feel bad, after all, she had supported Emily in her dream which would separate them for four years, this was only a month._

 _June was almost over though and Emily couldn't wait to get on with the rest of their European summer. One evening, while she was waiting on Hanna to get back from work, she got a call from her swim coach. He excitedly told her about an opportunity to try out for Olympic team._

 _The Olympics were next summer and the qualifying trials were in a few weeks in Omaha. Pepperdine was already sending one of her teammates to compete in the qualifiers, but Emily learned she had just been in a car accident and would no longer be able to compete, so he wanted to send Emily in her place._

 _Emily sat there frozen for a second, unsure of what to do. A part of her wanted to scream "YES" into the phone but another part knew she needed this time with Hanna. Not to mention, qualifying would be next to impossible given that she wasn't even good enough to have been selected in the first place. She politely told her coach she'd think about it and let him know in a few days. He was surprised she didn't jump at the chance, but said he understood. Emily knew she would have to talk to Hanna about it, but she wouldn't do it tonight._

 _Emily sat in the hotel room, stunned, and waited for Hanna to return. Today marked Hanna's last day on the job in Paris and they were going out tonight to celebrate. Hanna came home in a great mood and they spent an amazing night together. It was a night like Emily had hoped they all would have been. They ate at an amazing restaurant and sipped champagne on the rooftop terrace of their hotel, which had a spectacular view of the Eiffel Tower. For the first time in weeks, they made love to each other in a way that finally made them both feel reconnected again._

 _Afterwards, Emily held Hanna in her arms and knew what she had to do. She would call her coach the next day and decline the offer. She needed these next few months with Hanna and she wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize that. The Olympics were her dream, but so was Hanna._

 _The next morning, they ordered room service and planned to spend the day in bed together. Just as they were opening the champagne for mimosas, Hanna's cell phone rang. It was her boss's ring tone, which Emily knew all too well._

 _Hanna went into the living room portion of their suite to take the call and was gone for longer than Emily expected. After fifteen minutes, Emily went looking for Hanna, who was sitting on the couch, just staring out the window._

 _"What's wrong?" Emily asked as she approached Hanna with concern._

 _"That was my boss…" She said as Emily shook her head knowingly, "She wanted to tell me what a great job I did with this designer…"_

 _"That's great! I'm so proud of you Han." Emily interrupted._

 _"…and that she wants me to spend the rest of the summer interning at their headquarters in London. We would have to leave tonight." Hanna finished._

 _Emily's face dropped. She begged and pleaded with Hanna to say no, but Hanna's mind was already made up. She argued that it was the biggest opportunity she might ever get and it would lead to a full time position at the end of the summer if she did well._

 _Emily was heartbroken and infuriated that Hanna wouldn't even think of what this would mean for her and that she just assumed Emily would come to London, like she did to Paris. Emily then told her about the Olympic qualifiers and how she was going to turn that down for her. Hanna didn't seem to care though, because in Hanna's mind, she had already made a sacrifice for Emily's dreams, now it was Emily's turn to do the same for her. Emily argued that the Olympic qualifiers were part of her that dream, but she was still willing to give that up for Hanna._

 _They continued talking, mostly fighting, as the day went on. Before they knew it, it was getting dark and they were no closer to agreeing than when they began. It had turned into one of those fights that at times they even forgot what they were fighting about, because it became about everything they had ever done to each other and everything they ever were to each other._

 _Finally, an exhausted Emily gave an ultimatum "Hanna, if you go, I am not going with you, and I won't be in waiting for you when you get back."_

 _"What does that mean?" Hanna responded confused and equally exhausted._

 _"I mean I won't be waiting for you. We'll be done." Emily said with tears in her eyes, "Hanna, I can't do this anymore…. We never see each other and it's clear we have priorities that aren't each other, and don't even involve each other any longer."_

 _"I can't not go Emily. This is a big deal and I already told my boss that I would. I'll lose my internship if I don't."_

 _Emily watched silently from the living room as Hanna packed. Just as Hanna was about to leave the hotel room, she turned to Emily, with tears now in her eyes and said "Em, we'll work this out OK? We always do."_

 _Emily felt like she was watching the scene unfold from outside her body but was glued to that spot on the couch, unable to move or speak. After an awkward moment of silence, Hanna sighed and then exited the hotel room. Emily knew in that moment that they wouldn't work it out. That it really was over._

 _The sound of the door closing behind her, followed by silence, was so deafening that it finally broke Emily from her trance. As she sat alone in the hotel room, she reached for her phone and called her coach to accept the try-out. She then finished packing her own bags, and left for the airport._


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, the girls all went to the courthouse for Charlotte's hearing. Each girl was asked to make a statement. They all lied and said what they were supposed to, except for Aria. She was the only one with enough guts to admit she was still scared of Charlotte/A and that she wouldn't feel safe if she was released from custody. The other girls just assumed it didn't matter what they said because there is no way, given the horrible things she did, that she would ever be released. But they were wrong.

They got the text from Alison that read "good news," and instantly all of their hearts sank and minds raced. They had lived A-free for the last five years, would that change now? There was a palpable uncertainty for all of them about what this would mean. So naturally, they choose to handle it the way most 23 year-olds deal with their problems.

The girls were at least 3 martinis in when Radley's lobby bar made its last call for the evening. Nobody was in any shape to drive home and none of them really wanted to be alone either, so they all headed up to Hanna's suite to raid the mini-bar.

The girls sat on the couches, drinking vodka from small mini-bar bottles and laughing to distract themselves from the uncertainty of their new reality. Spencer and Hanna both drank often at social and work engagements, so they handled their liquor pretty well. Aria was the lightweight of the group and switched to water after they left the bar. Emily though was a different story. Before they even left the lobby, she was slurring her words and swaying. After insisting on having another drink in the room, she excused herself to the bathroom.

Hanna noticed Emily's drinking in the bar, but she chalked it up to the uncertainty of the situation that they were all feeling. When Emily excused herself to the bathroom, Hanna assumed she would be quick. So, when Emily had been gone longer than expected, and went to check on her. She found Emily passed out on the bathroom floor, after clearly having gotten sick in the bathtub.

As gently as she could, Hanna sat Emily up and cleaned her off with a damp washcloth. Emily woke briefly and looked right at Hanna, maybe even through her. It was quick, but something in Emily's eyes shook Hanna to her core. Something was wrong, that much was clear. She could see that Emily was in pain, but given everything she told them today, she couldn't see a reason why.

Before Hanna was able to analyze Emily further, Spencer came in and offered to help get Emily to the bed. They carried her to the bedroom and Spencer silently relieved Hanna of her duties. Spencer began changing Emily from her vomit stained clothes into a t-shirt of that she found in Hanna's suitcase. Hanna was thankful for the help, uncertain of how Emily would have felt if she found out that it was Hanna who undressed her. If she was being honest with herself, Hanna wasn't even sure how she would have felt.

Later that evening, after Spencer and Aria had fallen asleep on the couch, Hanna went back into the bedroom and saw that Emily was sleeping in one of her old t-shirts. It was actually an old concert shirt from a show they went to together. It had plenty of stains and even a few holes, but Hanna could never bring herself to throw it out. Seeing Emily in it now though stirred up feelings she had long since ignored.

 _[Flashback]_

 _They had finally graduated from Rosewood High and as a graduation gift, the parents had all chipped in and rented the girls a house in Cape May for a week. Unbeknownst to the parents, Aria brought Ezra, Spencer brought Toby, and of course Hanna and Emily were there together._

 _The group spent their days playing on the beach and most of the nights alone with their significant others. One night, Emily had heard about this indie band that was growing in popularly that she wanted to go see. They had brought their fake IDs, so sneaking into the club was easy. They danced the night away and Hanna even ended up buying one of the band's shirts after some drunk guy spilled his whole beer down her shirt._

 _Later that evening, when they returned to the house, they headed straight up to their room. Both were worked up from dancing together all night. Before Hanna could even close the door behind her and turn around, Emily was already naked. The moonlight over the cape lit the room just enough for Hanna to see her walk across the room and slip into bed. Without any hesitation, Hanna stripped off her clothes and joined Emily._

 _They made love passionately until the sun came up before Hanna finally fell asleep. Emily stayed there briefly, holding her and listening to her soft breathing, before going downstairs to start breakfast. She knew if she fell asleep now, she'd sleep all day, so it would be better just to get up, have coffee, eat breakfast, and maybe catch a quick swim before the others woke._

 _Emily was being quiet in the kitchen, but the smell of coffee brewing woke Hanna, who suddenly realized she was alone. She dressed quickly and went down to find the others, assuming she was the last one up. When she came down the stairs, she stopped and felt her jaw drop. She and Emily had been together for almost two years and they had seen each other in all states of dress, and undress for that matter, but this was by far Hanna's favorite look of Emily's._

 _Emily was dressed only in Hanna's concert shirt from the night before and had her hair up in a messy bun. The shirt was fairly long but it was still revealed most of her long tan legs. Emily looked up and caught Hanna staring at her, but simply smiled before resuming cooking. Hanna finally came down the rest of the stairs and approached Emily from behind. Putting her arms around the taller girl, kissing her neck, and whispering into her ear "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever, and will ever, see."_

 _[End flashback]_

Hanna tried to shake these thoughts from her head, trying to forget the vivid memory and ignore the feelings that came with it. 

It was well past 2 AM and Hanna knew she needed to get some sleep or she'd be worthless that day. There were really no good options to sleep, Spencer and Aria had both taken over the couch. The only place left to sleep was in the bed, next to Emily. She climbed into bed as carefully as she could and made sure to stay against her side of the bed. She hoped Emily would take this as a sign that Hanna respected her feelings and hopefully the situation wouldn't be any more uncomfortable in the morning than it was now. Hanna let out a sigh and turned off the light before closing her eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

A few hours later, Hanna woke from a series of confusing dreams. What was even more confusing to her was the arm that was protectively snaked around her waist. She closed her eyes and sighed, she could feel gentle breathing on the back her neck. She assumed that Emily must have gravitated toward her in the middle of the night, but she was surprised by how comfortable and content she felt when she finally woke up.

Pushing away her thoughts, Hanna quickly wiggled out of Emily's arms and left the room. As she walked into the other room, she could feel those last few drinks creeping up her neck and quickly forming into a headache. She knew she needed to hydrate, and needed some space from Emily, from everything, so she left the suite to get ice from the machine down the hall. She was annoyed to find that there was no ice machine on the floor. Begrudgingly, she climbed the stairs to the floor above.

When she returned, Spencer had woken up and looked almost as bad as Hanna felt. She offered her a bottle of water before putting another bottle and two aspirin on the bedside table next to Emily, knowing she'd need it most. She glanced at the spot next to Emily where she had slept and couldn't help wondering if Spencer or Aria would have been there, would they have woken up the same way with Emily too. She shook her head of these thoughts and returned to her conversation with Spencer.

A few minutes later, the phone in room rang, waking both Aria and Emily up. Emily sat up and instantly felt her head begin to throb. She felt terrible and she remembered getting sick the night before and sharing a moment with Hanna on the floor of the bathroom. But when she looked down, she didn't see the clothes she was wearing last night. Instead she noticed that she was dressed in only Hanna's t-shirt. She also noticed there was an indent in the pillow next to hers. She wondered briefly who had slept there and who had changed her clothes, but became distracted by the conversation in the living room about Charlotte being missing.

Realizing what time it was, Emily grabbed for her bag, spilling most of the contents on the floor. She panicked as some of the medicine had fallen out and the girls were just a few feet away in the living room. She quickly and quietly gathered the pills and her jeans before making excuses to the girls and leaving the hotel. She was late for her appointment at Hollis Medical Center and couldn't afford for the procedure not to work.

Emily raced the whole way there and made it just in time for her appointment. This was one of her final rounds of lab work and she was thankful for that. She was in the last stage of her hormone therapy, which meant twice daily injections for the next week. She hated needles, but she kept reminding herself that it would be worth it in the end.

When she finally left Hollis, she checked her phone and saw texts from the girls about how Charlotte was found dead that morning outside the church. She couldn't believe it, how could this happen? The police had just ruled it a homicide and of course, they were caught in the middle of another investigation.

Emily couldn't believe how quickly the next few days went. Between the investigation and the funeral for Charlotte, everything seemed to blur together. All of the girls were anxious after being interrogated and all of them were told to stay in town for further questioning. Spencer had planned to stay through the end of her mother's campaign, so it was not as big of a deal for her. But Aria and Hanna couldn't wait to get back to their own lives. Emily just wanted to make it back to California before her procedure and before anyone learned that she was a fraud.

The night after Charlotte's funeral, Emily couldn't get her dad off her mind. The funeral had reminded her of everything she had run away from. She had avoided going to the cemetery portion of the funeral because the DiLaurentis plots were so close to her family's, but she knew she couldn't avoid seeing him forever.

Emily got in her car and before she knew it, she had driven to the cemetery like she was on autopilot. She had pulled up the cemetery and began walking towards where her father was buried. This was Emily's first time seeing his headstone. At the time, she couldn't face it. If she faced it, then it would be real. She would have lost her father and lost Hanna in such a short period of time. Facing that was too overwhelming at the time, so she had left right after his funeral and hadn't returned until now.

She kneeled down in front of it and gently placed the bouquet of flowers against it as she held her hand against the words "Loving father." She missed her father more than she knew how to handle. And she hadn't handled it very well. Tears formed in her eyes and she began confiding in him, as she had so many times growing up. She knew that if he was really looking down on her, that he already knew, but she felt she needed to finally say the truth aloud.

She confessed that she had been living a lie, for years. That after his funeral, she went down a dark spiraling path. There was something that felt broken inside her and she didn't know how to fix it. She began drinking so much that if not only affected her school work, but her swimming as well. She missed so many practices that she was kicked off the Pepperdine swim team and lost her scholarship. She dropped out of school and blew through the money that he had left her, mostly on partying. She had been so desperate to fill the hole that his death and Hanna had left her with.

She even experimented with drugs, which led to her being disqualified from the US Olympics team after a random drug test. They found several types of amphetamines in her system, which without a valid prescription, are banned substances and grounds for a lifetime ban. She felt ashamed of herself after everything that happened in high school and she didn't know to handle having that conversation again with her friends and her mom. So, she lied, she made up a whole fake life. She knew she'd eventually have to think up another injury-related lie to explain why her friends and family won't be seeing her competing in Rio that next summer.

By the end of her confession, she was only speaking through broken sobs. This was the first time she felt free, but she knew the moment would be fleeting. She knew that soon, she would have to return home and continue these lies that had become her truths. She knew deep down, that there were even a few lies that she had to continually tell herself, to protect her own heart.


	7. Chapter 7

Hanna quietly snuck into her mother's office and pulled up the security program that captured all of the footage from the night that Charlotte was killed. She thought she had heard someone slip out of the hotel room, shortly after she closed her eyes but never got up to check.

Maybe she was being paranoid, but she had to know. She may have just imagined it, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Aria was hiding something. At the end of the day, Hanna knew it was risky, but she knew the security footage would reveal the truth. Aria hadn't mentioned anything that morning when they learned of Charlotte's death, but she also fled fairly quickly and disappeared for a few hours.

Hanna queued the program up to the night in question and fast forwarded the lobby footage until she saw Aria getting off the elevator and meeting with Ezra.

Of course, Hanna should have known. Who else would Aria risk everything for? Even if they were high school—well, one of them was in high school— sweethearts. Hanna understood though how far someone would go to protect someone they once loved.

Aria and Ezra both left the hotel shortly after 2 AM and Aria finally returned, alone, just after 3 AM. The coroner put the time of death between 3:30-5 AM, so Aria was in the clear, so what was she hiding?

Regardless, Aria hadn't mentioned this late night meeting to the other girls or to the police when they were questioned, so there was something that she didn't want anyone to know. Without thinking, Hanna hit delete on the screen and erased the entire security feed from midnight until noon the next day, before signing out of the program, locking the office, and returning home as if nothing had happened.

The next morning Hanna decided that she needed to talk to Aria about what was on the tape. She texted Spencer and Emily to meet her at Aria's house, but Spencer never responded or showed up. Hanna and Emily sat on the window seat awkwardly next to each other. Hanna broached the subject of her late night rendezvous with Ezra, surprising both Emily and Aria.

Aria eventually confessed to meeting with Ezra that night, not that she could deny it at that point. Hanna and Emily listened to her story and she said how he had just gone home afterwards and could in no way be responsible, but that she would talk to him about it. Hanna remained suspicious, but the conversation was cut short when Liam, Aria's boyfriend, Facetimed her.

Emily's phone went off and she excused herself from the room. Hanna waited until Aria finished with Liam before pushing the issue further. Eventually, she made Aria promise to go to see Ezra that afternoon. Happy that she got what she came for, Hanna decided to leave and try to check-in on Spencer who hadn't responded to any texts since the night before.

As Hanna walked out of Aria's bedroom and down the hall to the stairs, she noticed that the bathroom door was partially open. She wasn't trying to pry, but she saw Emily in the bathroom. Hanna was briefly distracted by Emily's exposed skin, but she quickly focused when she noticed that she was injecting a syringe into her upper thigh. And suddenly everything Hanna thought she knew came crashing down around her. A million fears ran through her mind.

 _Was Emily sick? What was going on? Why hadn't she told her?_

She was overwhelmed by the sudden wave of emotion that coursed through her. She wasn't prepared to lose Emily. She was only starting to become a part of her life again and she couldn't ignore how great that felt. She cared strongly for Emily and needed her in her life.

As Emily finished the injection, she turned towards the sink and bumped into the door handle, causing the door to close the rest of the way and effectively snapping Hanna from her rambling thoughts. Hanna didn't know what to do, but she knew she had to talk to Emily. She knew couldn't leave without knowing what was going on, so she went downstairs and waited for Emily. She was so preoccupied with her racing thoughts, that she didn't notice how badly her hands were shaking.

A few minutes later, Emily came down the stairs to find Hanna sitting in the living room with a concerned looked. Hanna pushed herself from her chair and moved toward Emily trying to contain the tremble in her voice.

"Hey… Are you getting out of here" Hanna asked, willing the tears that were close to forming, from filling her eyes and trying to keep her resolve.

"Yeah... That was just my coach, he needed something." Emily lied.

"Emily, I saw you in the bathroom…" Hanna replied sounding hurt by Emily's lie.

"Uh, I don't what you mean" Emily stood there for a second, unsure of what else to say. She crossed her arms across her chest and avoided Hanna's eyes.

"Em, it's me." Hanna said softly, trying to convey in one look how much Emily meant to her. After a long pause, Hanna exhaled deeply and asked the question she was terrified might be true. "Are you sick?"

"No, I'm broke." Emily eventually confessed, knowing that she had to tell Hanna the truth. She hated admitting this to Hanna.

"What about the sponsorships and the Olympics?" Hanna asked, clearly confused.

"It's not real, none of it." Emily responded softly. She was looking at Hanna now, knowing she couldn't keep running from this conversation.

"What's going on?" Hanna asked, not wanting to believe that Emily had been lying to all of them for years.

"The last couple years have just been a lot harder than I made the sound. After my dad died, I lost my scholarship, dropped out of school, and lost my spot on the Olympic team. Without the sponsorships, I blew through my father's money. That's why when one of the other bartenders told me about it…" Emily trailed off, not sure how to have this conversation with anyone. Especially, not _Hanna._

"Told you about what?" Hanna interrupted, still trying to take in everything Emily was telling her.

"Donating my eggs." Emily explained, barely being able to look at Hanna as she said the words.

"Wait, that's what the injections are for?" Hanna asked quietly.

"You have to take a lot of hormones before the procedure" Emily replied softly.

"Em, you don't have to do this. I'll lend you the money." Hanna offered, trying to ignore the empty pit that was forming in her stomach. There was something else about this that was bothering her, but she couldn't put a finger on it. For some reason, she thought suddenly about her kitchen table, before Emily spoke again.

"No, it's ok. I want to. For the first time in forever, I actually feel good about a choice I made. I'm going to help two people start a family." Emily tried to describe her reasoning to Hanna, knowing she needed to rationalize the situation.

Hanna sat for a second before responded. She offered Emily a sad and knowing smile. It was hard to think about how bad Emily's life must have gotten to get to this point, and how she had no idea. There was a time that she knew everything about Emily's life. Feeling the pain of the love lost between them, Hanna finally released the breath she didn't realize she had been holding. She reached for Emily's hand, taking it in her own and finally said, "I just wish you would have told me sooner…"

"I didn't know how." Emily whispered, almost inaudibly. She looked down at her own lap, embarrassed at her confession and from the warm feeling spreading across her body by the even the most innocent of comfort that Hanna was offering her.

Hanna squeezed Emily's hand ever so slightly to urge Emily to look up at her, "Well whoever they are, they are the luckiest couple in the world. "

Emily blushed at Hanna's words, and forced herself to smile shyly at Hanna, which Hanna returned along with, for the first time since they had reunited, an open gaze to how she was really feeling. In those few seconds together, both girls thought of the relationship, the love they once shared, and how they had so often talked about starting a family of their own one day.

While neither would admit it, they also both secretly wondered to themselves how they let this be their story. Emily had been feeling that way for quite some time, but Hanna hadn't let herself think of it since that last summer together.


	8. Chapter 8

Pam Fields thought that she had made plans with her daughter to have lunch, but Emily made another excuse as she quickly left their house. She was used to Emily being busy with all of her commitments, but she missed her daughter and wanted to spend time with her, while she was finally back in Rosewood.

Emily got her in car as Pam realized she had received an urgent letter from Pepperdine. Pam called after her, but Emily had already starting pulling away. The letter seemed time sensitive, so she innocently opened it and had planned to just text Emily about it.

What she read in the letter though, surprised her. Suddenly she realized that her daughter had been lying to her. If Emily had been willing to lie about something as big as this, what else was she lying about?

Emily pulled up the Hollis Medical Center and headed right towards her doctor's office. Emily was so distracted, reading a text from her mom about making sure she's home for dinner, that she wasn't paying attention and bumped right into someone.

"OMG, I'm sorry!" Emily said to the other woman as she bent down to her collect her things from the ground. When Emily looked up at the woman she had bumped into, she was shocked to see who it was. It was Paige McCullers.

"Just as distracted as always. ..I'm glad some things never change." Paige joked with Emily.

"Paige?" Emily said sounding surprised, but finding herself also oddly happy to see her, "Sorry about that! I should know better than to text and walk. You think I would have learned in high school after all."

Emily couldn't remember when the last time they had seen each other was, but she thought it must have been at least a year. They met at Rosewood, on the high school swim team, before Paige's family moved to San Francisco. They even dated for a brief time before Emily started dating Hanna. Paige eventually went on to get a full ride to USC, so they used to run into each other at swim meets and even a few times, in recent years, at gay bars around LA. It was comforting for both girls to see a friendly face being away home and they had always been on good terms.

"Don't worry about it, Em." Paige reassured her as she smiled brightly. "It's really good to see you…uh…you look great.!" She finished awkwardly.

"No…but you do…look great I mean.." Emily stammered, feeling embarrassed because Paige looked better than ever. Emily remembered that Paige had torn her rotator cuff, during her senior year at USC, and stopped swimming competitively, but she looked just as toned as ever. Emily on the other hand felt bloated from the hormones. It wasn't obvious to anyone else, but it was enough that it made Emily feel self-conscious. Emily wrapped her arms around her own waist, shifting her weight slightly, trying to ignore how awkward she was feeling.

Paige blushed at Emily's compliment, but tried not to let it show and changed the subject quickly, "Hey, so, I have an interview right now, but I'll be free in like an hour. Do you want to grab a coffee and catch up?"

That was more than enough time for Emily to finish up with her appointment, so she casually accepted the invitation to meet at The Brew that afternoon.

An hour later, Paige walked into The Brew to find Emily sitting at a couch in the corner with a cup of tea. Emily smiled warmly from across the café and Paige felt her stomach flip. The sight of the beautiful girl still gave her butterflies, even after all these years.

She walked towards Emily, who stood to greet her. Paige hoped that Emily couldn't feel the rise in her body temperature, when they hugged. Needing a second to calm her nerves, Paige excused herself to grab a cup of coffee from the counter.

Paige brought her coffee back and sat down next to Emily on the couch, trying to keep an acceptable distance without being obvious. The two fell into old habits quickly. Their friendship had started out rocky, but mostly because Paige was struggling to come to terms with who she really was. Once she had come out to herself and to her family, the two became friends, much to Paige's disappointment.

Paige enjoyed having Emily in her life in any way she could, but deep down she had always wanted more. Timing though was never on their side. By the time Paige was ready for a relationship, Emily and Hanna were already together. Once they eventually broke up, Emily was not in a place to date anyone, at least not seriously. About a year ago Paige had thought things may have finally changed, but she had been wrong.

That was a conversation she was hoping to avoid with Emily though, not wanting to make their brief reunion awkward. So instead, Paige navigated the conversation carefully. She talked of her med school interviews, after learning quickly that the corporate world was not for her. She also learned in greater detail how the last few years had actually been for Emily. She already had some idea, since she had run into Emily drunk on several occasions. She tried to always be there for Emily though, wanting to make sure she got home safely. She was happy to see that Emily was starting to turn her life around.

 _[Flashback]_

 _It was graduation night and Paige was out with friends celebrating. They had all just completed their undergrad and wanted one last night of fun before they all started their first real jobs in the corporate world._

 _They started as a big group at a local college hang-out, but as the night went on, the group dwindled to just a few of Paige's closest friends. Her gay best friend, Sean, who ironically enough, she dated briefly in high school at Rosewood, insisted that they hit up the local gay club because they both needed some "action" (his words)._

 _He often teased her for being 'too uptight' or too 'conservative' just because she was not one to sleep around. In fact she had only ever been with two girls, both of whom she had been in fairly serious relationships with._

 _After several more shots and a few too many margaritas, she finally agreed that he could be her 'wing-man'. She didn't really plan to go home with anyone, but she figured she could humor him for a while and then just sneak out when he eventually went to the bathroom to hook up, as he so often did._

 _Right on cue, about an hour later, Sean had found someone that caught his eye. Just as Paige was closing out her tab and getting ready to leave, she saw her. Her heart skipped a beat, as it did every time she saw Emily._

 _They used to see each other a lot more often, but ever since Emily stopped swimming at Pepperdine, it had been less often and rarely sober. Paige never asked Emily what happened with school, but she had heard various rumors. College wasn't for everyone and she knew Emily had taken her father's death very hard. Emily never seemed like she wanted to talk about it, so Paige never pushed the issue._

 _Emily spotted Paige right away and motioned for her to come over. Paige obliged and walked over towards Emily, who had taken a seat at the end of the bar, by herself. Emily got up from her stool to greet Paige and practically fell into her. Paige had to hold her up to keep her from falling, but being more than a little drunk herself, they both almost fell. As Paige regained her balance and held Emily upright, she could feel Emily wrap her arms around her waist to hold her as well. Before Paige knew what was happening, she felt Emily's lips against her own._

 _It was like a dream. Paige's head was spinning with all of the reasons that this was a bad idea, but her body and lips ignored her. They kissed for what felt like hours, even days, but it was probably only a few minutes._

 _"Take me back to your place." Emily said huskily to Paige when she finally broke away from the kiss._

 _Paige gulped at the proposition. She didn't know if it was the tequila or nerves, but she could only bring herself to nod her head. At Paige's silent acceptance, Emily intertwined their hands and led them out of the club._

 _They made out the entire cab ride back to Paige's apartment. When they arrived, Paige struggled looking for her keys in her bag as Emily assaulted her neck and exposed shoulders with her mouth, from behind._

 _Once in the apartment, Emily wasted no time in untying Paige's halter top and unclasping her bra. Paige broke the kiss briefly to discard the clothing. Emily took this opportunity to take off her own dress, revealing that she had not been wearing anything but lacy underwear underneath. Emily watched and smiled coyly as Paige's mouth fell open._

 _Emily then turned and walked straight into Paige's bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. Paige took a deep breath and then began walking towards Emily. Thankful for the false confidence that always came when she drank tequila, she walked towards Emily and began taking off her remaining clothes, slowly and teasingly. Soon she stood naked in front of a waiting Emily._

 _Paige knew deep down that this was a bad idea and that it was escalating far too quickly. But she had wanted this for so long that she wanted to let herself believe it was OK._

 _"Are you sure?" Paige said in a cracked voice, her liquid courage betraying her briefly._

 _Emily looked up at her through hazy, yet vulnerable eyes, which showed no signs of hesitation. Instead of replying, Emily reached out and pulled Paige down onto her lap, so that she was straddling her. Paige ignored the voice in her head and focused on the silent approval she had been granted. She kissed Emily hungrily before pushing her back further onto the bed._

 _The sex was incredible, by far the best that Paige had ever had. There was an honesty and vulnerability to Emily that she hadn't expected. Emily clung to Paige as she came, making Paige felt needed and wanted for the first time in a long time, or maybe ever._

 _Afterwards she could see tears forming in Emily's eyes. She wasn't sure what they meant, so she simply held Emily tightly in her arms until they both fell asleep. But when Paige woke, she quickly discovered that she was alone. She texted Emily, or at least the number she had in her phone for Emily, but never heard back._

 _[End flashback]_

Paige's memory of that night was interrupted by the sound of Emily's phone chirping.

 _Dinner is in the oven. Be home in 20. We need to talk. - Mom_

Emily saw her mother's text and politely told Paige that she had to go, but that they should get together again while they are both still in town. They hugged and Emily was surprised that Paige was pulled away quickly and that she had been tentative with her the entire afternoon, but had too much else on her mind to wonder why.

Emily was anxious about the "We need to talk" in her mother's text, but she tried not to let it ruin the good mood she was in. She had forgotten how much she enjoyed Paige's company.

Pam is waiting for Emily at the kitchen table when she hears Emily's keys in the front door. She had been agonizing all day about how to broach the subject and decided that she just needed to be direct and calm.

"So you've just been lying, this whole time?" Pam blurted out when Emily walked in, unable to keep her composure the way she had hoped.

Her mother took her by surprise, but the conversation was inevitable. Emily was finally forced to be honest with her mother, about almost everything. She didn't tell her about the procedure, figuring it was too much for her to handle along with everything else.

But Emily still felt relieved that her mother finally knew the truth about school and swimming. She knew now though, that it was likely that her mother would insist that she stay in Rosewood, since she really didn't have to anything to go back to except a dead-end bartending job.

A few days ago that would have terrified her, but after her talk with Hanna that morning, and spending the afternoon with Paige, for the first time in a long time Emily was optimistic about what Rosewood might hold in store for her.


	9. Chapter 9

_[A/N: Thanks to everyone who has left comments. Keep them coming! And for those of you who have asked, yes this is an Emily and Hanna (Hannily) fan fic. It's just a slow burn, be patient :-)]_

After leaving The Brew, Paige drove back to her hotel. She had been staying at The Radley while she was in town for her interview at Hollis. As Paige entered the lobby, she decided that she could use a drink, so she headed over the lobby bar.

She rarely drank tequila anymore but seeing Emily and thinking of that night had her craving a margarita. As the waitress dropped off her drink, she heard a familiar voice from across the lobby.

"Paige?" Hanna asked, surprised to see her.

"Hey Hanna!" Paige responded politely.

The two girls were never friends, but were not unfriendly either. At least not anymore. They had a run-in many years ago over Emily, but that was water long under the bridge. Neither girl was one to hold a grudge.

Hanna walked towards her, as Paige stood to offer an awkward hug.

"What are you doing in Rosewood?" Hanna asked, knowing she had moved away many years earlier.

"I'm actually here interviewing for med school at Hollis." Paige replied as Hanna sat down next to her. Paige then caught a glimpse of Hanna's hand, "Wow, look at that ring! I guess congratulations are in order!"

"Thanks!" Hanna replied, smiling brightly and holding the ring up to Paige, for further appreciation.

"Who is the lucky….person…?" Paige asked, not wanting to make any assumptions.

"…guy …." Hanna said, answering Paige's unspoken question, "His name is Jordan. He runs a magazine publication in New York."

"Wow…impressive. How long have you two been together?" Paige asked, trying to keep the conversation light.

"A little over three years. We met shortly after Emily and I broke up….but we were friends first." Hanna replied, wondering if she gave too much information for such a casual acquaintance.

"That's great. About you and Jordan I mean…not that you and Emily broke up…." Paige said awkwardly.

"You know, she's in town too. We all are. We came back for Charlotte's hearing and now they cops have asked us to stick around for the murder investigation." Hanna said, wanting to fill Paige in, knowing she might be a little out of the loop.

"I know. Emily and I ran into each other today and met up earlier at The Brew. We kept in touch some in California, but it was great catching up this afternoon." Paige replied a little too excitedly.

"Oh…really?" Hanna asked, trying to ignore the tiniest bit of jealousy creeping in the back of her mind. Emily was allowed to have other friends.

"Yeah…I'm actually glad we might both be sticking around for a bit. I don't know…I feel like there could be something there between us…"

Paige regretted the words the second they came out of her mouth. It wasn't untrue but it wasn't something she should not have brought up to Emily's ex-girlfriend, regardless of how long they had been broken up. Paige instantly shifted on her stool and looked down at her drink, desperately wishing to go back in time and stop herself from saying anything at all.

Feeling like she needed to relieve Paige of her obvious discomfort, Hanna replied, "You should…see if there is something there I mean…" trying to sound as sincere as possible.

Paige smiled softly at Hanna, impressed with how relaxed she seemed about the subject. But then again, she had obviously moved on if she was engaged to someone else.

Paige thought it was best to change the subject entirely so she asked Hanna more her life in New York and her career. They continued their pleasantries for a few more minutes before Hanna's mom came looking for her. They awkwardly hugged again before saying goodnight to one another.

Paige sat down back at the bar, surprisingly pleased with how the conversation went. She was happy to learn that Hanna was engaged. Part of her always felt like that might have been some of what was holding Emily back from really moving on. Emily had seemed different this afternoon, freer even.

Then, as if Emily knew Paige had been thinking about her, Paige's phone buzzed on the bar.

 _Hey…it's Emily! Want to hang out? – Unknown_

Paige grabbed her phone and replied quickly to Emily. She let Emily know she had been staying at The Radley and to just meet her there.

As Paige sat there waiting for Emily, she finally realized why Emily never texted her back after their night together. While this provided her with some relieve, reducing her feelings of rejection, she was still confused why Emily never texted her afterwards and why she hadn't acted strangely with her this afternoon.

Ten minutes later, Paige's thoughts were interrupted when she saw Emily. Neither girl could help but smile brightly at each other, as they locked eyes from across the lobby.


	10. Chapter 10

Emily was happy when Paige texted her back right away. She definitely needed to unwind after the tense conversation with her mother, and if she was being honest, she hadn't stopped thinking about Paige the whole evening.

When she arrived at The Radley, she couldn't help but smile brightly at Paige sitting at the bar. Forgetting the tentativeness that Paige had shown around her earlier, Emily quickly walked over to Paige and gave her a warm, long hug. When she pulled away, Emily was surprised to find that even under the dim bar lights, she could see a flush on Paige's cheeks from the embrace.

Emily knew that Paige had been interested in her in the past, but timing was never right so it was just easier to be friends. It flattered Emily though that Paige may still have some of those old feelings.

In the few minutes that it took for Emily to arrive, the bar had gotten fairly crowded. It was apparently the new "it" place to be on a Friday night. Thankfully, a small seating area in the corner had just opened up so the girls decided to sit there so they could be more comfortable and actually get to talk.

The bar was loud, so they had to sit closely to each other to be able to hear one another speak. Their legs were pressed against each other on the couch, and it did not go unnoticed by Paige that Emily found small ways to touch her during the conversation. They weren't obvious or strange in the context of the conversation. It was as simple as Emily touching Paige's arm when she was laughing at one of her stories or softly rubbing her thigh when Paige talked about how much she missed swimming.

"You know, the hotel does have a pool…" Emily responded when Paige confessed how long it had been since she had been in the water.

If Paige hadn't known better, she could have sworn that Emily was flirting with her, but she could have been just being Emily. It was sometimes so hard to tell and Paige wasn't willing to put herself out there again unless she knew they were both interested in the same thing.

"I know, but I didn't bring my suit. I didn't even think about it." Paige replied sadly, wishing she had though to bring it.

"Yeah but you have running clothes, right? Just put on a sports bra and running shorts, it's practically the same thing." Emily replied, amused that Paige hadn't thought of the obvious solution.

"Yeah, I guess I could do that." Paige replied, wondering why Emily was pushing the issue. Paige then watched from the couch while Emily stood up and held out her hand. "Wait…you mean go swimming now?!"

"Yeah…of course I mean now. Any chance you have some extra gear for me?" Emily replied as she smiled down at a confused Paige.

Paige just smiled back and took Emily's outstretched hand. She half expected Emily to release it once Paige had stood up, but she hadn't. Instead she let their hands linger together for a moment before intertwining their fingers and leading Paige towards the elevators.

Paige struggled to keep her breathing even as she was bombarded with flashbacks of that evening. This was different though. Emily had only had 1 drink and it's not like they were going up to her room to have sex…

"Earth to Paige!" Emily jokingly shouted, pulling Paige from her internal wonderings. "What floor are you staying on?"

"Oh…6…sorry!" Paige replied, embarrassed that Emily had caught her day dreaming.

When they got up to the room, Paige quickly went to her suitcase and grabbed out some running gear that she thought would fit Emily and handed it to her. Emily gave her an appreciative smile as she walked towards Paige's bathroom to change.

Emily changed quickly and opened the bathroom door to find Paige still changing. Emily stood there quietly watching Paige pull her bra over her head and pull her jeans down her trim pale legs. She felt the strangest feeling of déjà vu but couldn't quite place it. She had seen Paige change in the locker room, but this was different.

Before Emily could dwell too much on the missing memory, Paige turned and noticed Emily watching her.

"Oh, sorry!" Emily said nervously when Paige noticed that she was exiting the bathroom. "…I thought you'd be done..."

"No worries." Paige replied, flattered that she had caught Emily watching her. She decided to test the waters further and continued, "It's not like it's anything you haven't seen before." Paige ended with a coy smile.

Emily was confused by Paige's response but didn't want it to show, so she just smiled awkwardly back. She wasn't quite sure what Paige meant by that. They had seen each other in the locker room over the years, but out of courtesy, neither girl ever let their gaze linger.

Emily then wondered if it was more just a blanket statement, like once you had seen one girl naked, you had seen them all. But then Emily worried that maybe Paige was referencing the reputation that she had back in LA. During her dark days, she had made it a habit to go to random bars and make out with strange women. She almost never went home with them, partially because shew was usually too drunk for anything more, but also because she wasn't the type to sleep around. She did know though that she had occasionally gone home with a few girls, who she couldn't even remember their names or have been able to identify in the morning. It wasn't a time in her life she was proud of and it bothered Emily that Paige might see her that way. Paige hung out at a lot of the same bars as Emily, so she had probably seen her at her worst, on more than one occasion.

Paige noticed Emily's confusion and then a hint of shame cross over Emily's face as she quickly finished getting dressed in her running gear. She felt bad about making such a cavalier joke without realizing it might cause Emily pain.

"Em, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I have been struggling all day on whether I should bring it up or just pretend it never happened…" Paige said quietly from across the room as she looked down at her own feet.

"That what never happened?" Emily replied, totally confused as to what Paige was referring to.

"That night…back in LA….like a year ago…" Paige replied as Emily stood with a confused look at her face. "You really don't remember, do you?" Paige continued softly as she realized why she never heard from Emily afterwards and why Emily hadn't acted as tentative and awkward as she had when they ran into each other earlier. Emily didn't remember.

"No…I don't know what you're talking about…I'm sorry…" Emily responded sincerely and regretfully. She racked her brain trying to think back, but that time in her life was too much of blur. She had been partying too long, with the wrong kind of crowd, and had more than a handful of nights she had little to no memory of.

Paige knew now that she had to explain that night to Emily and it made her stomach churn. If Emily was so far gone that night that she didn't remember any of, then she was in no shape to give consent. Paige began recounting the events of that evening, but couldn't even look at Emily, knowing the guilt she now felt would be even worse if she had to look her in the eye during the confession.

"It was about a year ago. I was in some bar and when I went to leave, I saw you sitting there. You were drunk but waived for me to come over. You stood up to hug me and fell over. I was holding you up, then I wasn't holding you, you were holding me." Paige continued after a long pause. "You kissed me and you asked me to take you back to my place. I did, and we…erm….you know…. Maybe you thought I was someone else, maybe I knew that, but I didn't stop you. I didn't want to stop you. It was like a dream…" Paige confessed, barely above a whisper.

"…and then what happened?" Emily asked. Feeling her own hear break at Paige's confession.

"The dream ended. I woke up and you were gone. I texted you a few times, but I never heard back. I figured you woke up and realized who you went home with and regretted it."

A hazy memory was starting to creep back into Emily's conscious as Paige recounted the evening's events. Emily vaguely remembered waking up next to someone about a year ago. But when she had woken, she instantly felt guilty as she looked at the naked brunette lying next to her. The girl's face had been partially covered by her hair and the pillow, so Emily hadn't really seen who it was. She didn't really look too hard either though. The feelings of guilt and shame washing over her were too much for her to bear, so she grabbed her clothes from the floor and fled.

"Paige….I…" Emily started before Paige cut her off.

"I've tried to convince myself that what we did was ok. It wasn't. You were there, and I was drunk too, but much less than you, and I just got…greedy. I'm sorry…." Paige interrupted quietly.

"It wasn't your fault…" Emily tried to interject and relieve some of Paige's pain.

"I shouldn't have let it happen. It was wrong." Paige replied, with tears beginning to form in her eyes.

Emily walked slowly towards Paige, taking her hand in her own, "Don't say that."

"I mean it." Paige replied, accepting Emily's comfort but still refusing to look her in the eye.

"I don't want you to say it. I don't want you to mean it. I want you to listen… I haven't been in a relationship with anyone since Hanna. I haven't even really thought about it. Or at least I didn't think I was thinking about it. I was drunk that night and I was lost. But maybe I wasn't lost; maybe I was just looking for something, or looking for somebody. And I found you." As Emily spoke, Paige glanced up at her briefly before looking down again.

"Don't look away." Emily softly demands as she reached out with her free hand to place it on Paige's face. Paige finally looked up and into Emily's eyes. They looked haunted, but open to new possibilities. Just as quickly as their eyes met, Emily's eyes closed and she pulled Paige towards her. Their lips met softly but were full of passion and determination.

As they kissed, the memory began flooding back to Emily. She suddenly remembered seeing Paige at the bar that night and how beautiful she looked. She remembered kissing her until they were both breathless. She remembered going home with her and the look of desire and fear in Paige's eyes when she asked if Emily was sure. Even more so, she remembered how amazing they had been together. In the few times she had been other girls over the last few years, she had always been so guarded. But with Paige she hadn't been. She felt safe in a way that she hadn't in a long time. She allowed herself to be vulnerable and to be in the moment with Paige.

As the memory washed over her, Emily couldn't help to feel a slight twinge of guilt. It was easy for her to assume that she felt guilty for leaving Paige and for making Paige feel rejected for so long and for hurting her. But if she was honest with herself, she wasn't sure that was the real reason for why she felt this way.

Emily tried to ignore the feelings that caused her inner turmoil and confusion. When she finally broke away from the kiss, she rested her head on Paige's and let out a content sigh. She leaned in for one more brief kiss before saying, "Come on…let's go swimming."

Paige couldn't stop smiling as Emily led her by the hand out of the room and to the elevator. She was happy when a stranger accidently bumped into her in the elevator. It reminded her that she wasn't dreaming and that this was really happening.

When the elevator opened, Paige and Emily exited and headed across the lobby towards the fitness center and pool. As they passed the front desk, Paige felt Emily tense up and let go of her hand. Paige looked around the lobby and didn't see anyone that she recognized, so she was confused by the action, but Emily soon reached for her hand again and didn't say anything. The action worried Paige, but Emily didn't seem like it was something she wanted to address, so Paige kept quiet as well.

When they had gotten to the lobby, it hit Emily that Paige was staying at The Radley, Hanna's mother's hotel. Emily and Hanna's mother had always been very close. Emily stayed with the Marin's for a while in high school when her dad was stationed in Texas, and Ashley became like a second mother to her.

Upon her realization, a sudden and intense fear came over Emily. Without thinking, she released Paige's hand and sped up her stride. As soon as she realized what she had done, she slowed down and reached back out for Paige's hand, hoping that the other girl hadn't notice her anxiety. While Emily hadn't seen Ashley in a few years, she hoped that she'd be happy that Emily had found someone, even if it wasn't her daughter. After all, Hanna had moved on.

When they finally got to the pool, both girls grabbed towels from the counter and headed right to the pool's edge. The water was still and untouched. Each girl casually dove in and wordlessly began swimming the length of the pool. Both thankful for cool, calm feeling of the water gliding past their body, helping them both ease their minds from any worry, doubt, or confusion the night had stirred up within them.


	11. Chapter 11

Emily woke up from one of the best night's sleep she had gotten in a long time when her phone buzzed. She searched around the unfamiliar nightstand for her phone before finally locating it.

 _Dinner at my house tonight? Please! I could really use the company. It's really lonely in this house. Feel free to invite a guest_ _J_ _\- Alison_

Emily smiled as she read the text and began responding but was interrupted.

"Who is texting you that is making you smile like that? Should I be jealous?" Paige joked from the next pillow. Emily rolled over to face Paige to show her the text and invite her to the dinner.

Paige wasn't Alison's biggest fan, but they had talked the evening before about how they both felt bad for Alison. That it wasn't her choice to be separated from her sister and when she finally had gotten her back, she was murdered. In fact, they had talked about many things the night before.

After getting back from the pool, Emily asked to shower before going home. Once she had changed back into her own clothes, she had noticed that Paige had put on "Rudy" which was one of her all-time favorite knew this and had actually bought the movie on iTunes for the sole purpose of streaming it and enticing Emily to stay. She wasn't ready to say goodnight to Emily just yet.

Upon seeing the movie playing, Emily jumped on the bed and curled into Paige to watch the film. Afterwards, they began talking about anything and everything. They had talked at The Brew, but with the caution and reservation that is applied when talking to "old friends" or "acquaintances." Now that they were, well whatever they were, they both opened up more about their individual pasts, present, and dreams for the future.

It eventually had gotten so late that Emily was afraid she'd wake her mother if she went home. Paige offered for her to stay. Both realized the potential implications of this, but they had agreed to take things slowly. So Paige gave Emily a soft, but no less passionate goodnight kiss, before outstretching her arm for Emily to cuddle into her. Throughout the night they had both moved but never lost contact with the other.

Emily was excited that Paige agreed to go to dinner with her. She knew that Hanna would be there, maybe even with Jordan, and that would probably be a little awkward, but it was for the best. They needed to start seeing each other with other people so they could go back to being friends, the way they used to be.

Paige could see that Emily was nervous, but excited nonetheless and that pleased her. It finally felt like all the pieces were falling into place. She looked over at Emily who was texting Alison back and she felt her heart skip a beat when Emily caught her watching.

Emily shot Paige a seductive smile and pulled Paige towards her for a kiss. Emily had meant for the kiss to be teasing and light but it quickly turned heated. As they kissed, Paige felt herself fill with self-confidence and took control of the kiss, pushing Emily back towards the bed.

She felt Emily softly moan into her mouth as she gently lowered her weight on Emily's body. Emily's legs instinctually opened to allow Paige to settle between them and gently press into Emily. Both girls had said they wanted to go slow, but neither showed any signs of hesitation.

Paige broke away from the kiss to begin kissing down Emily's neck. She focused her attention on Emily's pulse point, sucking and gently nipping at the sensitive skin. Emily's hands had been roaming over her back and arms, but she now felt them tugging at bottom hem of her t-shirt, silently asking permission to remove it and escalate things to the next level.

Paige tore herself away from peppering Emily's neck and collarbone with kisses to sit up and remove her shirt. Emily propped herself up at the same time to remove her own shirt. Emily was pleasantly surprised that Paige hadn't been wearing a bra. She looked up appreciatively at the beautiful topless girl, before she felt Paige's lips crash back into hers.

She quickly felt Paige's hands on her back moving towards her bra. Without hesitation, Paige skillfully unhooked Emily's bra, sliding it down her arms and tossing it off to the side. Paige laid back down on Emily and both girls moaned at as their breasts pressed against each other. Paige instinctually ground herself into the goddess lying beneath her. Emily matched Paige's pace and began desperately grabbing and raking her nails across Paige's back. She lowered her hands to firm grip Paige's boxer-clad ass and pull her even harder into her. Quickly both girls grew frustrated of their last barriers of clothing.

Paige loved feeling Emily's hands on her ass, forcing them as close as physically possible and trying to push Paige's boxer briefs down. Wanting to offer help, Paige broke away from Emily's lips to lift herself up enough to slide them down her legs. Emily took this opportunity to remove the shorts that Paige had let her borrow, along with her own underwear.

Both girls had been in a haze, only acting instinctually, but as Paige began to lower herself once again onto a now naked Emily, she felt Emily's hand reach out to caress her face. Paige closed her eyes briefly, reveling in the intimate touch. When she opened her eyes, she found Emily staring up at her, vulnerable and wanting.

Emily looked up at a naked and gorgeous Paige. She had wanted to wait, she had wanted to take things slowly, but in this moment, looking into Paige's eyes that were so full of desire and affection, she had no idea why.

Silently giving Paige permission to continue, Emily pulled Paige's face towards hers. This kiss was different. This kiss was just as passionate and heated as the others, but it carried an unspoken hope that left both girls breathless.

Paige soon deepened their kiss and began letting her hands roam on Emily's body. She felt a soft moan in her mouth as she softly grazed her hand over Emily's breast. Emily arched her back, giving Paige better access. Paige broke away from Emily's lips to trail kisses down her neck and collarbone to the awaiting breasts. They were even more full and beautiful than Paige had remembered. Paige remained gentle though, knowing the hormones that Emily was taking probably made them extra sensitive.

She softly took a nipple into her mouth and flicked her tongue lightly against the rock hard bud. She felt Emily's back arch further as Emily threw her head back against the pillow and softly moaned. Paige could tell the Emily needed more contact, so she began kissing further down Emily's body until she reached her thighs.

As Paige kissed the inside of Emily's thighs, she felt Emily's hands move to her head, softly massaging her scalp and silently begging for more. Paige understood and softly kissed across Emily's thighs towards her center. Emily opened her legs, granting Paige more access. Slowly she began feeling Paige's hot breath and then the gentlest of kisses on her center. Emily moaned loudly at the contact, which spurred Paige on.

Paige wrapped her arms around Emily's legs for leverage as she began licking Emily. She wanted to start first with long and slow licks, but the teasing was too much for Emily. So instead, Paige focused her attention on Emily's clit and released one of Emily's legs from her grasp so that she could have a hand free.

Emily gasped as she felt Paige's finger at her entrance and found herself grinding down against Paige's fingertips. Paige then swiftly, but gently, entered her with two fingers. She held them still for a second, languishing in how it felt to be inside Emily before she began feeling Emily moving her hips, desperate for more friction.

Paige gave into Emily's needs and began thrusting her fingers into her as she continued to circle and flick at Emily's clit with her tongue. Soon though she felt Emily's hands release from her hair and pull up at her head. Paige stilled her fingers and removed her mouth from Emily's center to look up at her. Emily pulled further at Paige's held and motioned for her to come up and kiss her waiting lips.

Paige obliged and repositioned herself on top of Emily, fingers still buried inside of her, and crashed her lips against Emily. Emily moaned into Paige's mouth as she could taste herself on Paige's lips. Paige again began moving her fingers in and out of Emily. Their new position allowed Paige to use her own hips to help thrust into the girl below her.

Emily kept up with Paige's rhythm but slid a hand between their two bodies to take Paige's breast in her hand. Paige groaned with pleasure at the feeling of Emily's hands on her breasts, flicking and teasing her nipples. Emily's hands didn't stay put for long though. Paige soon felt one of Emily's hands trailing down her body, as the other one gripped at her back.

Paige lifted her hips from Emily's just enough to allow Emily to reach her aching center. Emily began exploring Paige's wetness, waiting to memorize every fold and curve. She soon reached Paige's entrance and she could looked up at the girl above her, silent asking for permission to enter her. Paige nodded quickly, desperately needing to feel Emily inside of her.

Emily tentatively entered one finger in Paige, not wanting to cause any pain. She soon though added another finger and began thrusting up into Paige, matching Paige's own fingers pace inside her. Their kisses now became sloppy and eventually too much to concentrate on. Paige buried her hand inside the crook of Emily's neck as both girls thrusted harder and harder into each other.

Soon Paige could feel Emily begin to shudder underneath her and could tell she was close. She lifted her head so that she could see Emily. Emily's eyes were glued shut and her face was turned against the pillow in pure ecstasy. The sight took Paige's breath away.

Emily dug her nails into Paige's back and felt her thighs tighten around Paige's hips as she finally reached her release. Moments later, upon hearing her own name fall from Emily's lips as she came, Paige also climaxed and felt her body go limp on top of Emily. It had been so intense and so powerful that Paige could swear she even went blind for a few seconds.

It took all of Paige's strength to roll over onto her back and pull Emily's, also recovering, body into her own. The two girls stayed tangled together, cuddling in bed for hours. They would occasionally share a sweet short kiss with the other, but they mostly languished in the closeness and nakedness of their bodies.

Several hours later, after they must have dozed off, Emily heard her phone beep from the nightstand table. She quietly untangled herself from Paige, careful not to disturb her, to check her message.

 _So…Jordan is in town and coming to dinner tonight. I just wanted to give you a heads up - Hanna_

Upon reading the text, Emily felt her stomach flip uncomfortably. If she was honest with herself, she wasn't sure if it was guilt or annoyance. Emily had assumed Jordan was coming but was unsure why Hanna was telling her. While it would be natural to be nervous about meeting Hanna's fiancée for the first time, the guy who both seemingly and immediately replaced her, Emily found herself more irritated that Hanna felt she had to warn her. As if she was just going to turn into a jealous or sad and pathetic mess. They had been broken up for years and Hanna wasn't 'the only one who could move on; Emily thought to herself as she looked over at Paige lying next to her.

 _OK…I figured. I'm bringing Paige FYI. -_ Emily responded to Hanna quickly, even though she could see that Hanna was still typing.

 _[A/N: I know some of you true Hanily fans might not like this scene, but I think it makes the story more authentic. In the last fanfic Emily had an almost love scene with Samara but couldn't go through with it. But given their age now and presumed additional life experience, I think it would be unrealistic for Emily and Paige to have not slept together. Feel free to comment!]_


	12. Chapter 12

That same morning, Hanna and Spencer are at Lucas's loft when Hanna began facetiming with Jordan. They chat briefly about his flight and Hanna agrees to pick him up from the airport that afternoon.

When Hanna hangs up, Spencer notices that while she's smiling, it's not reaching her eyes the way it used to. Unsure of whether it's the stress of the investigation getting to her or if it was something more, Spencer decided to do a little digging.

"OK, so he's charming, handsome, and he adores you. I'm not seeing a downside." Spencer said offhandedly, trying to start the topic of conversation.

"Yeah me neither." Hanna replied, not catching on to Spencer's plan.

"So how come you have been engaged for a year, but haven't set a wedding date?" Spencer tried again.

"Well I think I'm finally ready to do that…" Hanna replied tentatively adding, "…I mean, I even told Paige it was OK if she and Emily got togeth-."

"Wait…what?! Back up!" Spencer interrupted Hanna, thankful she hadn't just taken a sip of her coffee or it would be all over the back of Lucas's sofa.

"Yeah, I guess Paige is back in town and likes her like that. I mean, it is Emily…what's not to like…" Hanna responded, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole situation, even though she definitely didn't feel that way.

"And you're really OK with that? I mean Hanna…this is way different than when Caleb and I got together. I mean, you guys broke up back in high school AND because you were in love with Emily. You two have a history Hanna, like, a serious history. Honestly, we all thought you and Emily were going to get marr-…."

Hanna raised her hand to cut Spencer off before she could finish. She knew what she was going to say and she couldn't stand to hear didn't want to hear that everyone thought she and Emily were going to be together forever or that they were soul mates. She had heard it too many times before and for a long time she had felt that way too.

"You know, ever since I've been back here. All I've done is spin and twirl. With Jordan I don't spin and I don't twirl. He keeps me grounded, and I really like how that feels." Hanna responded, hoping Spencer wouldn't notice that she never really answered her question as to whether she was really OK with Paige and Emily dating.

Hanna's dodge didn't go unnoticed by Spencer, but she decided not to push the issue further. It was pretty clear that it bothered her, at least a little. Wanting to keep things a little lighter, Spencer replied back, "So then, when's the wedding?"

"Well I've been honest with him about almost everything in my life. But the other night I lied to him by sneaking out to erase that tape. I'm going to tell my mom and then Jordan. If he still wants to marry me, then I'm ready." Hanna replied, trying to sound convincing. The only thing was, she wasn't sure who she was trying harder to convince, Spencer, or herself, knowing that she was keeping more from him than just the tape. She was keeping her history with Emily.

A few hours later, after Hanna had picked up Jordan from the airport and brought him back to the loft, Hanna knew she needed to come clean about the security footage and her involvement.

"I'm sorry Jordan. More about lying to you, than erasing that tape. I totally get it if you don't want to marry me." Hanna says, barely able to make eye contact as she struggles to get the words out.

"You'd actually think I'd let something like this get between us? Yes, you screwed up, but you were protecting a friend. And that is one of the many things I love you about you. You are the most loyal and honest person I ever met. That's why I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Jordan responds, wanting to comfort Hanna. In true Hanna fashion, she dramatically jokes about him having to visit her behind bars. Jordan just laughs and again tries to reassure her that it will all work out.

"We can get ahead of this but you're going to have to be honest with everything from now on." Jordan says as he gets up to call his father.

Hanna felt better about coming clean about the tape, but still felt guilty. There was still something huge that she hadn't yet been honest about. She was unsure why she had never told Jordan about Emily and that summer. When it first happened, Hanna had been too upset to talk about it and Jordan didn't push the issue. After he had moved to New York and they had begun dating, Caleb had come to town and asked to meet up. He and Hanna had dinner and she, of course, cleared it with Jordan before going out to dinner with an ex-boyfriend.

Ever since, he just assumed that Caleb was the one that broke Hanna's heart, and Hanna just never corrected him. It was easier than reliving the real story, and made it easier for her to tell the truth when Jordan asked if she still had feelings for Caleb, which she didn't.

But now it had turned into a messy mistake. Part of her felt like maybe Emily and Jordan would never meet, so it wouldn't matter. Hanna knew it was stupid to assume that. They shared the same friends and eventually they'd try to be friends themselves, so of course Emily and Jordan would eventually meet.

But now it felt like it was too late to come clean. Jordan would have too many questions and he would be hurt that she had hid something so big from him all these years. And, if he had asked her that same question about Emily that he had about Caleb, she wasn't sure what her response would have been, or even what it would be now. It was all just too complicated.

Hanna and Emily would always be linked. They had gone through so much together that those feelings could never go away entirely. But it didn't mean they were "meant to be," the way people used to say they were. Sometimes love just isn't enough.

Hanna's phone buzzed in her hand, breaking her from her rambling thoughts. She looked down at a group text from Alison to all of the girls.

 _Dinner at my house tonight? Please! I could really use the company. It's really lonely in this house. Feel free to invite a guest J_

Hanna felt her stomach drop. She had been hoping that since Jordan was only in town for a few days, she could keep him distracted around town with things that didn't involve her past or her friends. She wanted to keep him separate from the life she had once lived here, not invite him into the belly of the beast at a dinner party with two of her exes and Alison. This was going to be a nightmare.

As Jordan re-entered the room with good news about the lawyer, he immediately noticed Hanna's apprehension. "Han…don't worry. The lawyers will get the whole thing sorted out. I promise."

"No, it's not that." She replied, "Well I mean it is, but also, Ali wants us all over for dinner tonight. Like ALL of us, at HER house."

"And that's a problem, why? I'm excited to finally get to meet your friends. What are you more worried about, spending the evening with Alison or introducing me to Caleb?" Jordan asked, trying to be funny, clueless as to the real issue.

Hanna forced herself to smile at his joke, but regretted saying anything at all. If she hadn't told him, she could have made up an excuse not to go, but now that he knew, she couldn't back out without him having too many questions. Questions she wasn't prepared to answer.

Even though it was going to be an awkward thing to ask, she knew she needed to text Emily to give her a heads up that Jordan didn't know about them. It would blow up in her face if Emily mentioned something about their past in front of him tonight.

Hanna reached for her phone while Jordan was distracted on his computer and clicked Emily's name in her contact list.

 _So…Jordan is in town and coming to dinner tonight. I just wanted to give you a heads up_

Jordan turned towards Hanna to give her a reassuring smile. The action startled her and forced hit to hit send on the message before she was done typing. She started back up again, even though she could see Emily was already typing a response.

 _that I haven't exactly told him about us, so if you could maybe not mention anything. I know that's a lot to ask, but I'd appreciate it._ \- Hanna finished her message, seeing, Emily's text back at almost the exact same time.

 _OK…I figured. I'm bringing Paige. -_ Emily

 _Wow…that was fast –_ Hanna responds coldly, without thinking. _I'm sorry…that was a knee jerk reaction. If you're happy, I'm happy for you._ – Hanna responds, feeling guilty for being upset with Emily and Paige after she just asked Emily to lie to her fiancé for her. Ugh, this was a mess.

 _What do you mean he doesn't know about us? How is that even possible? So our relationship mattered so little to you that I wasn't even worth mentioning to your future husband…wow…_ \- Emily

 _Em, no it's not like that at all. It's a long story…_ \- Hanna

 _That's what it feels like Hanna. That I didn't matter. That we didn't matter. . - Emily_

 _You know that's not true. It's complicated Em, I'll explain it all later. - Hanna_

 _Well save the story for your real friends. Or someone who actually cares._ \- Emily

Hanna's heart sank. She knew she just made this situation ten times worse, and not only that, she ruined the little bit of friendship that her and Emily had rebuilt over the last week. They had finally begun talking and becoming close, like they were before they were ever together, and that was all gone now.

The more she thought about the mess she had made of her life, the more sick to her stomach she became. She made Emily feel like their relationship didn't matter, that it wasn't important. Just as she was sure that she was going to actually get physical ill, Jordan looked up from his computer and startled her.

"So what should we bring tonight? Sushi?" Jordan said trying to distract Hanna from the obvious anxiety written all over her face.

"Sushi? You won't get that here in Rosewood…" Hanna replied, still distracted by her own thoughts.

"Well, then I guess Thai is probably out of the question. Let's go into town and find something. We can't very well show up empty handed." Jordan said, purposely accentuating his British accent to try to lighten the mood, but Hanna remained distant and cold, deep in her own thoughts.


	13. Chapter 13

Emily and Paige stopped by the liquor store before heading to Alison's house for dinner to grab some wine, unsure of what else to bring.

"So what kind of wine says 'I know we used to hate each other, but now I'm sleeping with the girl who used to be in love with you, and I'm sorry your sister's dead, even though she made your friend's lives a living hell?'" Paige jokingly asked Emily, trying to lighten the tension in the air.

Something had been off with Emily all afternoon and Paige couldn't quite place it. Emily had been fine that morning, but something during the day had upset her and she had been in a mood ever since. She had asked her a few times but Emily shrugged it off. Paige worried at first that maybe Emily regretted taking things too far, but Emily put those fears to rest quickly. She reassured Paige that she was happy with how they spent their morning and looked forward to many similar mornings in the future.

"How about this Cabernet?" Paige continued as she held up a moderately priced bottle of wine that she had found. "I seem to remember you telling me that you liked both your wine and your women to be bold."

"Actually I believe you said that, and the word that I seem to remember you using was 'ballsy'." Emily corrected Paige with a smile, trying to mask her anxiety about the dinner with humor.

"Gross. I must have been young and dumb when I said that. I think bold is a much more flattering description of me, don't you think?" Paige replied, wrapping her arms around Emily from behind to again show her the bottle.

Emily leaned into Paige's embrace and nodded her head at the bottle. She had been distracted since her text fight with Hanna. It not only bothered her that Hanna would ask her to basically lie for her, but it was hurtful that she hadn't even told him about her. Emily thought their relationship mattered to Hanna. They dated for a long time and were everything to each other. They had even talked about spending the rest of their lives together and now it was like she didn't even exist. Emily felt sick to her stomach about the whole thing. Emily wasn't even worth a mention, not even worth a conversation to Hanna.

Trying to shake her thoughts from her head as Paige released her arms from around her waist to head towards the register. Emily stayed in the aisle a second longer to grab a few more bottles off the shelf, knowing she'd need plenty of fortitude to get through tonight's event.

Emily was relieved when she and Paige arrived first at Alison's house. It gave her time to calm her nerves before Hanna and Jordan arrived. Emily quickly learned that Aria had never responded and would not be coming to dinner, but that Spencer would be bringing Caleb and Hanna would be bringing Jordan.

Spencer and Caleb were the next to arrive. Spencer, who lived right next door, just let herself in the back door. Emily thought that Spencer and Caleb made a cute couple. Emily had been surprised to learn they were together, but looking back on it, it made sense. Both were the two smartest people she knew and they were alike in a lot of ways.

After setting down the wine and appetizers that they had brought over, Spencer quickly walked towards Emily to say hello.

"You brought Paige? When did this happen? Does Hanna know?" Spencer whispered quietly in Emily's ear as she leaned in for a hug.

"It's not really any of her business, is it?" Emily quietly spat back at Spencer.

Spencer was surprised by the harshness of Emily's response, but she did have a point. Hanna was with Jordan, Emily should move on as well. Spencer hadn't always been Paige's biggest fan, but she knew Emily had always had a soft spot for her so she couldn't be all that bad.

"Fair enough." Spencer finished quietly before breaking from the hug and moving to greet Paige as warmly as she could, while Caleb moved to greet Emily.

As Spencer leaned in to politely hug Paige, she saw Hanna and Jordan come through the front door. Hanna glared harshly at Spencer and Paige's embrace before plastering on a fake smile to greet Alison and introduce Jordan to her.

Spencer noticed Hanna's reaction to the hug and subtly pulled away from Paige to help Alison greet the newest guests. There was an awkward tension between Hanna and Emily that Spencer couldn't help but notice and she wasn't sure exactly what was going on.

"Jordan…hi! It's so good to see you." Spencer said as she greeted him with a hug.

"Wow, did you guys bring enough food?" Alison joked, surprised by the armfuls of chaffing dishes that they are carrying in.

"Oh there's more…" Hanna replies dryly as she sets the food down on the counter.

Ignoring Hanna's bad attitude, Spencer chimed in for introductions since clearly Hanna was not planning on it. "Jordan, you know Alison. And this is Emily, Paige, and Caleb." Spencer continued, gesturing to each person as she named them.

"I finally get to meet **_the_** Caleb Rivers." Jordan says after he politely smiles at the new introductions and walks over to shake Caleb's hand. "Any chance you want to help me get the last load of food from the car?"

"Uh yeah…sure. How much did you guys bring?" Caleb agreed with a confused look on his face. He and others in the room were all slightly confused as to why Jordan was taking so much of an interest in him. It was easy to assume that Jordan's interest was just because they were the only guys at the party full of women who all know each other a little too well. Only Emily and Hanna knew the truth as to why. Hanna could feel Emily glaring at her but couldn't meet her eyes. Spencer saw how Emily was looking at Hanna, but the rest seemed not to notice.

"Haha. I know. I come from a big family, I always over order." Jordan responded jokingly, as he territorially put his arm around Hanna.

Emily couldn't help but feel disgusted as she watched the scene unfold. She wouldn't have been surprised if Jordan just peed on her to make it that much clear to Caleb that she was his. If only he knew the real one who had claimed her heart for so many years.

Hanna kept avoiding eye contact with Emily during the introductions, but with Jordan and Caleb outside, she finally dared to look towards her and Paige.

Hanna took a step towards Emily, wanting to say something, anything to make it better. But Emily cut her off before she could speak. "It'll be fine. I won't say anything."

Paige was confused by Emily's words, but Emily gave her a look like she'd explain everything later. Paige wondered if this had to do with why she had been acting so strange all day. Before Paige could put too much more thought into it, Alison began yelling at Spencer about moving a bouquet of flowers from the dining room table. Apparently they were a welcome home present for Charlotte and were not to be touched. Paige simply chuckled to herself and thought she'd better buckle up; it was going to be one hell of an evening with this much history and this much crazy all in one room.

After Ali's mini-meltdown, Spencer, Hanna, and Paige all sat awkwardly in the living room, folding napkins and prepping for the upcoming dinner.

"So how long are you in town for?" Spencer asked Paige, trying to make small talk but also gauge how serious she and Emily were.

"Just a week or two right now. But I was here interviewing for Hollis Medical School, so if I get in, I'm guessing I'll be in Rosewood for at least the next three years, and then after that I can choose where to do my residency." Paige replied, knowing exactly what Spencer was not so subtly getting at and wanting to make it clear to both of them that she was in this for the long haul. Hanna stiffened a little at Paige's response, but only Spencer noticed.

On the other side of the room, Emily moved out of the doorway, where she was talking with Alison, to let Caleb pass by them.

"Perfect, I think it goes in this way." Jordan says as he sees Caleb approaching with a large table leaf.

Emily could see the boys struggling with the table and finally decided to chime in. "Actually it's backwards; you have to angle the leaf down. I used to have one just like it…" She said, trailing off at the end, fearing she might have just revealed too much. As angry as she was with Hanna, she wasn't interested in stirring the pot and causing any tension.

"Oh you know what, you're right .This is just like the one that Hanna has. It was the first piece of furniture we put in the new place. Hanna won't let go of it." Jordan replied, thankful for the help and oblivious to the fact that they were referring to the same table.

Emily couldn't help but feel heat rise up to her face at Jordan's remarks. She figured Hanna would have gotten rid of the table, given all the memories and what it symbolized. Emily didn't understand, if she wasn't worth a mention, why bother to keep the table? Emily wanted to look over at Hanna but was afraid that Paige would notice, so she kept her eyes planted on Alison in the kitchen.

"Ugh…there are 4 bottles of wine and nobody can find a wine opener, this is not happening." Hanna exclaimed from the living room, before getting up quickly to go look for an opener. She had overhead the conversation about the table and tried to subtly look over at Emily to gauge her reaction, but she refused to look back at her. It was probably for the best considering she was sitting across the coffee table from Emily's new girlfriend. Hanna sighed loudly as she got up, voicing her desperate need for a large glass of wine to get through this evening.

Spencer knew about the table, she had seen all of the Instagram photos of it when Hanna and Emily had bought it together, but it was clear to her now that Jordan didn't know that it had been "their" table. It made her wonder what else he didn't know and what Hanna had meant when she said she had told him _almost_ everything about her.

Spencer's natural instinct was to distract and release any of the tension in the room, so she quickly grabbed a table cloth and began chatting with Jordan about the weather and travel. He seemed to have a keen interest in Caleb, so she humored him and told him the story of how they met in Madrid by chance during college and began their whirlwind romance.

Jordan listened to Spencer recount the story and became increasingly more confused. He had been bewildered by Hanna's attitude and actions through the afternoon and evening. But now, hearing Spencer recount their love story, the pieces didn't add up. The summer she was referring to in which they met would have been the same summer that he and Hanna broke up. So either he was cheating on Hanna with Spencer or he wasn't nearly as broken up as she was and moved on right away. Either way, it made him look at Spencer differently. Hanna always spoke so highly of her but she clearly wasn't the friend she claimed to be.

By the time her story ended, the table was almost set. As she put the last of the silverware down, she noticed that Jordan seemed pre-occupied and began heading over towards where Emily, Paige, and Alison had been sitting. In an attempt to sidestep yet another of the evening's landmines, Spencer interrupted.

"Hey Emily, um…I can't find any wine glasses, do you want to check the pantry for me?"

Emily smiled and nodded at Spencer; thankful for the out that Spencer was offering to her. The less time she had to spend talking with Jordan, the better. Although it bothered her even more to realize that he actually seemed to be a good guy. It would be so much easier to hate him if he was a jerk.

Emily entered the pantry and was surprised to find Hanna already inside.

"Oh hey." Emily said dully, still slightly annoyed with Hanna.

"Hi." Hanna responded shyly.

"Have you seen any wine glasses?" Emily replied, trying to stay focused on what Spencer had tasked her with and avoiding bringing up the million questions running through her head.

"Ali de-boozified the place when she thought Charlotte was coming home. But I'll help you find the wine glasses if you help me find an opener?" Hanna offered, trying to lighten the tension that was between them.

"Deal." Emily accepted.

Both girls began opening boxes and rummaging through bins in the pantry. For someone as normally organized as Alison, the pantry was surprisingly difficult to navigate through.

The awkward silence eventually got to be too much for Emily. She had been trying to hold off but the question kept running through her head and she eventually had to get it out.

"So….you kept the table?" Emily asked quietly, she couldn't help herself. She was almost afraid of what Hanna's answer would be. Emily didn't know what she wanted Hanna to say or how she should even feel about it.

"Of course I did." Hanna replied, just as quietly, like she couldn't believe Emily would even have to ask her that.

The two girls stood for a second, just looking at each other. Emily felt the anger and resentment from earlier fall away. Clearly she did matter, clearly they mattered. If Hanna kept the table after all this time, some part of her still cares. Maybe not in the way she once did, but she cares enough to want that memory of them in her life.

Just as Emily was about to open her mouth to speak, Hanna spoke instead.

"Look, when you left Europe that summer, I wanted to focus on my career, I wasn't looking for another relationship." Hanna wanted to explain everything. She wanted to tell Emily how she was so heartbroken that she couldn't even talk about their break up for months, and that's why she never told Jordan. And she wanted Emily to know that she and Jordan didn't get together that summer. That it wasn't until he moved to the US, many many months later before anything ever happened between them romantically. She wanted Emily to know how much she meant to her and how much she loved her.

But before Hanna could say any of it, Emily spoke. "You seem happy. I mean with him. He seems like a really nice guy." Emily didn't want Hanna to elaborate any further. It was one thing to see them together and to know that Hanna was happy with someone else. It's an entirely different thing to hear about how she moved on or how they got together.

"Guys…found them!" Spencer yelled from the kitchen, having clearly located the wine glasses and opener in a tucked away cabinet.

"Looks like we got what we need." Emily said quickly as she walked to exit the pantry, needing to find air away from Hanna to catch her breath she didn't even realize she had been holding.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

When Emily re-entered the kitchen, Alison was on the phone and the rest of the room seemed tense. Paige approached Emily and handed her a much needed glass of wine. Emily's demeanor did not go unnoticed by Paige. She seemed less irritated than before but just as rattled. She tried to ignore it, but when she saw Hanna emerge, moments later, out of the same pantry her stomach dropped.

"Everything okay?" Paige asked Emily, putting a hand on her forearm. Emily just nodded and smiled, before taking a long sip of her wine. Paige watched Hanna walk back over to Jordan and take a glass of wine he was holding out for her. Something seemed off with them too.

Paige sighed to herself and took a large drink from her own glass of wine as she walked to the table to take a seat, knowing she'd need the strength to get through the evening. Once they were all seated, they waited patiently for Alison to hang up and join them for dinner.

"Who was on the phone?" Spencer finally asked the question on everyone's' mind.

"Lorenzo. He was calling with the time of death. It seems Charlotte was killed around 4am. He said this is good news. We are one step closer to finding her killer." Alison replied ominously, as if she was silently inspecting each guest's reaction to see if they were somehow involved in the murder. The girls all glanced at each other wondering exactly what Alison was up to.

"Let's say grace." She said in a much harsher tone than she had hoped. She had been doing her best to try to hide her suspicions.

Hanna could hear the conversation that was happening around her, but she hadn't stopped reeling from her talk with Emily in the pantry. She had wanted to say so much more. It always felt like there was never enough time, like there was never a right moment. Hanna hadn't realize before, but there was so much that Emily didn't know about how she felt and what really happened that summer. She didn't why exactly, but she knew that she needed to tell Emily. She needed her to know the truth, for once.

"Ahem…Hanna…hand." Jordan interrupted playfully, trying to get her attention so that they could say grace, wondering why she had been distracted and distant all evening.

Jordan broke her trance long enough for her to realize what was happening at the table around her. She flushed with embarrassment, having been caught not paying attention. She glanced around the table as an apology, but caught Spencer's knowing look. Ignoring it, she quickly put her hand in Jordan's on her right and looked to her left to find Emily sitting next to her with her hand held out towards her. Not wanting to seem awkward in front of Jordan, or the rest of the table, she placed her hand gently inside Emily's.

The simple touch of their skin sent chills and heat through both girls' bodies. The two temperatures seemed to converge in Hanna's chest where they were battling for dominance and causing her heart to beat wildly. She opened her eyes briefly to see if Emily had noticed, if she had a similar reaction and found Emily looking at her curiously. Emily tensed and Hanna's hand twitched.

Spencer was surprise at Alison's version of 'grace' and opened her eyes halfway through the blessing to see if anyone else was reacting similarly. However, instead of finding other confused faces, she found that only Hanna and Emily's eyes were open, but glued on each other. Spencer quickly shot a glance over to Jordan to see if he noticed the look being exchanged by his fiancé and her former lover, but his eyes were glued on Caleb, whose head was still bent down towards the table.

The realization finally hit her that Jordan must have thought Caleb was her more recent ex. It explained all of the weird behavior and Jordan's curiosity. But it didn't explain why he wasn't more curious about Emily. Unless he didn't know about her at all. Which would explain why Emily and Hanna seemed to be fighting about something.

Spencer's thoughts were cut short when she heard Alison conclude "grace," which honestly sounded much more like a threat than a blessing.

Spencer subtly kept he eyes on both girls as they quickly pulled their hands away and turned towards their respective significant others. She also noticed that they spent the remainder of the evening avoiding each other whenever possible.

The majority of dinner conversation was light and superficial. Most of the people around the table knew there were plenty of topics "off-limits" for polite dinner party etiquette, but the only wildcard was Alison. The girls had not spent much time catching up with Alison since being back in Rosewood, so she had plenty of questions for each of them. Questions not all of them wanted to discuss so publicly or even at all.

"So Jordan, I'm so glad you were able to make it. It's nice to finally meet Hanna's fiancé. Have you set a date or location yet?" Alison asked, feeling left out of the loop when it came to Hanna's life.

"Actually, I was going to surprise Hanna with the news, but since you asked…. My uncle called me today and said we could use his estate in the Hamptons. As long as we do it before the end of the summer." Jordan replied, looking over at Hanna to gauge her excitement at the news.

"This summer?! Like as in a few months?!" Hanna asked as she practically choked on her wine. She could practically feel Emily's eyes on her, waiting for her response.

"Wow nice. My parents have a place in The Hamptons. It's beautiful in the summer!" Paige chimed in, trying to ignore Emily's subtle discomfort at the topic of conversation.

"I know you love the Hamptons….I thought you'd be more excited." Jordan says, confused as to why she wasn't jumping at the opportunity.

"I am excited. It's just a lot to think about having to plan a whole wedding in just a few months." Hanna explained, not wanting to hurt Jordan with her lack of excitement, but also not wanting to hurt Emily but seeming overly excited.

Spencer noticed the obvious tension on the conversation and wanted to lighten the mood. "Hanna, you know I'm always available if you need organizing tips." Spencer joked.

"Speaking of which…how about you guys….are there wedding bells in your future?" Alison asked setting her sights on Spencer and Caleb now, instead of Jordan and Hanna.

"Umm…we've talked about it. But honestly right now we are both more focused on the campaign and our careers." Spencer replied as Caleb smiled in agreement.

"I get that, but you two have been together forever. Isn't it about time?" Alison kept on probing.

"Not forever. Four years isn't an unreasonable amount of time." Caleb replied while laughing nervously.

"You guys have been together for four years?" Jordan asked, confused on the timeline of their relationship vs. when he and Hanna would have broken up .

"Yeah, it was the summer after sophomore year. Spencer had been in Paris visiting Emily and Hanna and then decided to stay an extra week in Spain. It just happened to be the same week I was there. It was quite the chance encounter." Caleb responded before Hanna could chime in and change the conversation. She could tell that Jordan was starting to realize there were holes in the story he believed to be true, but she just hoped it was more curiosity than suspicion that was spurring on his questions.

"Emily, I didn't know you visited Hanna in Paris. You should've made it out to London. I personally prefer it over Paris. Plus, we could have met years ago." Jordan joked, not realizing the painful wounds he was unintentionally opening.

She knew that Jordan didn't know how his words had hurt her, how they reminded her of their painful break-up and how Hanna choose London over her. She wanted to bite her tongue and laugh it off, but she couldn't help herself. She stared at Hanna and responded, "London has always been on my bucket list. Hopefully, I'll make it there...someday."

It quickly occurred to everyone at the party, except Jordan, that he clearly didn't know the full story. Even Paige, who hadn't seen most of the dinner guests in years, knew more of the story than he did. They could all feel the tension building between Hanna and Emily. It would have been natural for anyone to feel uncomfortable when having their break-up is being openly discussed, but it really wasn't being discussed at all, because Jordan remained clueless to the subtext in Emily's response or the change in mood around the table.

Finally the tension became to unbearable and Spencer decided to break the awkward silence. "Whether London beats Paris is debatable, but nothing tops Rome. The architecture, the food, the wine! Speaking of which, I'm going to open another bottle, anyone want some?"

Everyone let out a soft chuckle at Spencer's joke, knowing they were all in need of more wine after the turn of events the evening had taken. Jordan finally caught on to everyone's change in demeanor but was felt like he missed the punch line on Spencer's joke. Everyone around him laughed, but he wasn't sure why. He remained quieter than usual the rest of the evening, feeling self-conscious that perhaps he had said something wrong.

Thankfully, the rest of the evening went on rather uneventfully, but neither Emily nor Hanna dared to look at each other, for fear what might lie in the other's eyes. When the night finally concluded, they all said their goodbyes, which resulted in more than a few awkward hugs.

Emily asked Paige to drive her home, figuring that she shouldn't spend another night away unless she wanted her mother to hound her with a million questions. Paige understood and honored Emily's request. Partially thankful to have the night to gather her thoughts on how she wanted to bring the topic of Hanna up to Emily. She needed to make sure things were really over for Emily. It was clear that Hanna had moved on, but there was something about Emily was acting around Hanna that worried Paige. She just wanted to make sure she brought up the subject delicately. She didn't want to come off like she didn't trust Emily or push her away with suspicion.

The car ride home was relatively quiet, both Paige and Emily were lost in their own thoughts. Emily could tell that Paige had something on her mind after they left Alison's, but she was too emotionally exhausted to ask her what was wrong. Emily couldn't help but replay the conversation in the pantry over and over again. _What did Hanna mean when she said that of course she kept the table?_

At first Emily was just happy that she obviously meant something to Hanna, but then after seeing Hanna's reaction to her touch at dinner made her secretly wonder if there was more to it. _Maybe she wasn't as happy with Jordan as she seemed?_ There was a time that Emily would have been delighted to know she still had some kind of effect on Hanna, but now it just made her feel guilty. She was with Paige now and Hanna was with Jordan. That was the way it was supposed to be so they could go back to being friends. _Right?_

Hanna and Jordan returned back to the loft after dinner. Jordan told Hanna he was exhausted from traveling, so he headed straight to the bedroom to go to sleep. Only he couldn't sleep. He kept thinking back to the events of the evening and all of the things that didn't make sense. He had expected Caleb to have reservations about meeting him and to act tentatively around him, but he hadn't. He recounted the details of Spencer's Madrid story and how the timing wasn't quite right. Most of all he couldn't stop thinking of how strange Hanna acted throughout the night. She seemed distracted and cold.

Hanna stayed in the living room, knowing she was too distracted to sleep and didn't want to keep Jordan up, knowing he had to travel back to New York the next day. She did too, but she just couldn't turn her mind off. She kept replaying everything over and over in her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the piercing look in Emily's eyes when Jordan mentioned the table, their interaction in the pantry, the touch of Emily's hand against her own, out of her head. And if she was being honest, she really wasn't trying all that hard.


	15. Chapter 15

_[The next morning]_

"The car will be here in 5, we overslept…" Jordan called out from the living room, as he tried to pack furiously.

 _I get that drive or he finds out about Emily. Tick tock. - Blocked_

Hanna read the text again as she made her way into the living room. She could feel her stomach sink, knowing that she fell back into old habits when she deleted that video. She had even got her mother caught up in the whole mess. She wasn't sure her mother had the hard drive that was stolen from the security company, but the timing was suspicious.

She knew her mother would do anything for her and clearly whoever was sending these texts didn't have it. Either way, she knew she had to search her mother's place to try to find it. She couldn't have her whole life de-railed by yet another "A", or whoever the hell this was now.

"I might need to go up later, I have some calls to make." Hanna announced to Jordan as she joined him in the living room

"Isn't Claudia's charity trunk show tonight? I thought you said you were going back for that. That's why I brought a car, so we could spend more time together on the drive back into the city. Why do you have to stay here?" Jordan questioned, frustrated and hurt by Hanna's constant change of plans and mood lately.

"I just have to be near a landline. You know the cell service on the Turnpike." Hanna replied quickly trying to justify the reason she had to stay behind.

"Is this job really worth all this grunt work?" Jordan pushed back, hoping that Hanna would cave and ride back with him to the city.

"Everyone starts in the trenches. My trench is Claudia…" Hanna replied, annoyed by Jordan's persistence. "…I'm sorry, I know I keep changing things last minute. But, I'll see still you tonight." Hanna finished, trying to smooth things over, knowing her bad mood was a result of the text threat and not actually Jordan.

Jordan accepted Hanna's apology and pulled her in for a long goodbye kiss. Just as the two were kissing, Emily arrives at the loft to drop off her bags.

"Oohhh…sorry! I'm early, my mom was driving me nuts" Emily exclaimed as she quickly turned away from the kiss, embarrassed and flustered.

Jordan was surprised by Emily's arrival and by her reaction. Hanna hadn't mentioned that she was coming over, and Hanna was supposed to be leaving with him in just a few minutes. He shot Hanna a confused and inquisitive look.

"Sorry…girl stuff…" Hanna responded, knowing Emily wouldn't want Jordan to know about the procedure but unsure of what else to say to give him the answers he was looking for.

Jordan let out a soft sigh and forced a smile. "I'll leave you two to your secrets then." He finished as he grabbed his bags and headed out to the awaiting town car. Jordan was annoyed, but understood that there were parts of Hanna's life he wasn't included in. He understood what she went through and accepted that the only ones that could truly understand were the same ones that went through it too.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to start anything. I thought you would have left already for New York." Emily said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it. I have some work to get done this morning, so I decided to stay back and go up later this evening for the fashion show." Hanna lied, not wanting to tell Emily about the threatening text. She didn't want to risk starting back up their fight about how she should have told Jordan about her in the first place.

Emily could tell there was something else Hanna was not saying, but didn't push the issue. She had too much else on her mind. Instead, she dropped her bag off in the bedroom and sat quietly down on the couch.

Hanna joined Emily on the couch, but made sure to keep some space between then, out of respect for Emily, and for Paige.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Hanna asked, knowing Emily had probably been planning on Paige taking her.

"It's OK. The clinic had a service. They just want to make sure I have someone to get me settled back in bed once I'm released tomorrow. I should be fine in couple days." Emily responded, thankful that Hanna had offered. She could have asked the other girls, but then she'd have to fill them in on everything else, and the thought of that was too exhausting to deal with right now.

"Well I'll be there to mash up your Jello, just the way you like it." Hanna teased jokingly, but noticed that Emily didn't smile back at her.

"Em, you seem nervous. These are your eggs. You can still change your mind if you want to." Hanna offered quietly.

Before Emily could respond, Hanna got a phone call from her boss. It was the same ringtone as before and even after all these years, the sound still brought back many unpleasant memories for Emily. That ringtone just reminded Emily of Hanna never putting her first.

Emily was vaguely aware of Hanna talking about what sounded like gum and rebooking Asian models. Both things were meaningless and trivial to Emily, but she knew that Hanna's boss was more than a little high maintenance and borderline crazy, so she just chalked it up that. Besides, she had more important things running through her mind.

 _[Flashback]_

 _Emily hadn't slept much the night after the dinner party. Her mind raced as she replayed the events of the evening, her conversation with Hanna, and Paige's mood change towards the end of the evening. Things were finally looking up in Emily's life, and the last thing she wanted was her past interfering with her future._

 _She had finally fallen asleep around 5am, but was soon woken by a knock at her door an hour or so later. She assumed it was her mom, but was surprised to learn it was actually Paige._

 _"Hey Em…I'm really sorry to wake you up, but I wanted to say goodbye before I left…" Paige explained._

 _"Left?" Emily responded, clearly confused and still half asleep._

 _"Yeah…I told you last night at dinner that I got a call from Northwestern. They want me to come out today for an interview." Paige explained._

 _"Northwestern? Like in Chicago?" Emily responded, still very confused._

 _"Evanston technically, but yeah. They have a great Med program and I was surprised to get the call… We talked about this last night at dinner…" Paige confirmed, finding herself slightly relieved that Emily hadn't been paying attention because she had been hurt the night before when Emily hadn't reacted to the news._

 _Paige had gotten the call when Emily was looking for wine glasses. She was going to tell Emily right away, but when Emily came out of the pantry with Hanna, it was clear that something was on mind. Paige then decided to wait until they were alone later to tell her, but the topic came up at dinner so she told everyone that she was leaving for a few days for the interview. She was excited, but she had wanted to privately gauge Emily's reaction to her possibly spending the next 3-4 years in the Midwest._

 _Paige knew it was soon to talk about that kind of commitment, but it was a conversation she would have liked to have with Emily privately, but hadn't yet had the chance. Knowing the Emily was more than a little confused and exhausted, Paige figured that now wasn't the right time either. So instead, she just kissed Emily and apologized for having to miss the procedure._

 _"…I'll be back in a few days though and will take care of you. It'll be good practice for when I'm a doctor." Paige joked, but did genuinely feel bad that she wasn't going to be there for Emily._

 _After Paige left, Emily couldn't fall back asleep. She was embarrassed that she didn't remember that part of the dinner conversation at all. She had been distracted most of the evening after the conversation with Hanna in the pantry and then Jordan's comments about London flustered her more than she wanted to admit. She still felt she should have remembered, because it carried so many implications and expectations._

 _Emily had just assumed that Paige was going to Hollis. She had gotten in and it was a great school. So there hadn't been any pressure to figure out a future. But if she went to Northwestern, they would have to figure out what that meant for them as a couple. Would Paige expect Emily to move there? Would they do the long distance thing?_

 _All of the what-ifs were starting to stress Emily out and she knew she was already going to have a rough day, so she tried to put it out of her mind, as best she could. Paige going out of town was bad timing, because Emily had planned to stay with Paige and let her help her through the recovery, since she couldn't exactly come home and have her mom see her post-surgery._

 _While it was not ideal, she knew she only had one person she could ask. She pulled out her phone and texted Hanna._

 _Hey Hanna…I have a favor to ask. Paige has to leave town for a couple days and I need a place to crash after my procedure. Any chance I can stay at Lucas's loft while you are back in New York? – Emily_

 _Of course! Jordan and I are heading back this morning, so come over whenever with your stuff. – Hanna_

 _Thanks! I really appreciate it. – Emily_

 _Do you have anyone to take care of you afterwards? I can come back early tomorrow if you need me to…– Hanna_

 _No, but I'll figure something out. I don't want to screw up your plans. – Emily_

 _I don't mind. And you won't be screwing up anything. – Hanna_

 _OK…well that would be great actually. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to tell the others. – Emily_

 _Then it's settled. I'll see you tomorrow morning at Hollis :) - Hanna_

 _Emily put down her phone and smiled to herself. She was thankful to Hanna to let her stay at the loft and not have to worry about dealing with her mom, but she was surprised Hanna was the one to offer taking care of her._

 _Emily wasn't sure what it meant though. They had shared a moment the night before. There was something in Hanna's eyes when she was trying to explain how she and Jordan got together. Like she was trying to justify it to Emily, or maybe even herself. But they were finally getting back to a place of being friends. And maybe that's all this was, Hanna being a friend. Back when they were just friends, Hanna was always there for Emily and took great care of her. But it had been so long since they were only friends. Things were so much more complicated now._

 _Emily found herself feeling a mix of emotions. She was happy for the friendship or whatever else could be there, but at the same time, she was with Paige and there was now all this pressure to define what they were. Emily sighed herself, knowing she wasn't going to fall back asleep and she might as well get up and go have breakfast with her mother._

 _[End flashback]_

Hanna interrupted Emily's thoughts, as she hung up the call and announced that she had a few errands to run for her boss, but that she would be back before she left for the procedure.

Hanna felt bad lying to Emily and using work as the excuse. It was the easiest excuse though since it was one she had used hundreds of times when they were together, so she knew Emily would believe it without question.

Instead of running errands though, Hanna went to childhood home to see if her mother knew anything about where that tape went. She had to get it back, and soon. She confronted her mother, but to no avail. Ashley denied knowing where the tape was or having anything to do with its disappearance.

Hanna was still less than convinced, so she enlisted Spencer's help to search the house after her mom went to work. After destroying almost every room, neither girl had found anything, except for an unhealthy amount of sample beauty products.

"I am so screwed! If I don't find this tape and turn it over, "A" or whoever this is, is going to tell Jordan that I've been lying to him about Emily." Hanna confessed, frustrated with not finding what she had convinced herself that her mom was hiding.

"Yeah, I have been wanting to ask since last night…why haven't you told him? I mean I feel like that's kind of an important detail to leave out of your life history…" Spencer responded, trying not to sound too critical even though she didn't understand or agree with the secret.

"I don't know…I know I should have, but now it's too late. How do I tell him that I've been lying to him our entire relationship? At this point, I know I need to tell him. I just don't know how. I can't very well say, 'Jordan, remember when we met and I was heartbroken because I had just broken up with the love of my life. That was because of Emily. Can you pass the wine?' Hanna answered, knowing eventually the truth would come out.

"Ugh! I can't believe I let "A" or Sarah Harvey or whoever convince me to destroy my mother's house. I just wish I had found this tape!" Hanna continued, expressing her frustration.

"Or do you just need to find a tape?" Spencer chimed in, formulating an idea that might solve the problem.

"What do you mean?" Hanna asked, not catching on to Spencer's con.

Spencer explained her plan to Hanna. They reached out to Caleb to create a fake drive, one that had a virus on it and would help them locate and figure out whoever this new tormentor was. The plan sounded like it could work. And Hanna was open to any idea that might expose their black-mailer before he/she had a chance to expose her lies.

After she got the drive from Caleb that he swore would pass for the real thing, she made plans with Sarah/A/whoever to make the drop. She left the drive in a trash can in an alley outside Rosewood.

Just as she left the package, her phone buzzed. At first she was afraid that they knew it was a trap, but she saw it was her boss, she felt a moment of relief, before she began panicking again.

Her adventures with Spencer of tearing apart her mother's house and then working with Caleb took up more time than she had realized. She was supposed to have already been on the train to New York.

She quickly answered and re-assured her boss she'd be there no later than 6:30pm and raced to the train station. Once on the train, she pulled out her phone again to text Emily to apologize.

[Across town]

Emily stayed at the loft after Hana left. She wanted to familiarize herself with the apartment, since she was going to be staying there for the next several days, but also because she didn't want to deal with her mother's questions. She had noticed Emily's change in behavior; mostly as a result of the high hormone doses she had been taking, and started to ask too many questions. Besides just being annoying, it was also hard to keep lying to her, so it was better just to keep a distance for the next couple days until it was all over.

Emily watched TV and killed time for a couple hours, hoping that Hanna would be back soon, like she had promised. She knew she only had an hour or so before she was going to be picked up by the hospital shuttle, so Hanna was cutting it close.

Eventually Emily had to give up on Hanna coming all together and started to collect her things to leave. She heard a noise in the hallway and assumed it was Hanna, so she opened the door and was surprised to find Alison standing on the other side looking like she was going to burst into tears at any moment.

"Is something wrong, come in…" Emily said, holding the door open for Alison to enter.

"Sarah Harvey came to see me today. I think she and Charlotte were closer than we thought… I think there is more to that story." Alison explained, clearly shaken by Sarah's visit.

"Why would you believe a word she says?" Emily responds, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice as she reaches behind herself to grab her bag and finish packing up.

"Hey can I stay here for a bit? I really need someone to talk to." Alison asked.

"I actually have somewhere I need to be." Emily responded, growing in frustration because she didn't want to be late and she let herself be disappointed by Hanna, yet again.

As Emily packed the last of her things, Alison remained standing in the doorway, with a knowing look at her face.

"Great…Hanna told you didn't she? That's just like her to blow me off after she promised to be here for me and then betray my trust to ask for a stand-in? Well whatever, they are my eggs and I made the decision to do it. You can say whatever you want, just promise you won't tell my mom!" Emily rambled on, showing her full frustration.

"Hanna didn't. Honestly I had no idea. You're donating your eggs?" Alison responded quietly, not wanting to upset Emily any further.

"I'm such a jerk. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed…" Emily finished, embarrassed at her outburst and annoyed to find that Hanna could still disappoint her so much after all these years.

"When is this happening?" Alison asked.

"Today." Emily replied quietly, looking down at her own feet.

"And you're going by yourself?" Alison continued.

Emily just nodded her head silently. She willed away the tears forming in her eyes, knowing that Hanna had once again chosen her boss over her.

Alison pulled Emily in for a hug and assured her that she would be there so Emily wouldn't be alone. Emily felt better knowing someone would be there for her, but still hurt that the blonde hugging her was the wrong one.

Alison pulled away from the hug to take Emily's bag from her and loaded her onto the hospital shuttle. Alison followed the van back to the hospital and stayed with Emily until right before her procedure.

As the final doctor came in to give Emily the sedative for the procedure, she heard her phone chirp from her bag. Alison went to retrieve it and held up the phone for Emily to read.

 _I'm so sorry I wasn't there to see you off. The procedure will go great. I'll be there late tonight after the show, promise! – Hanna_

Even though Emily had been mad at Hanna only moments before, she felt her anger wash away and be replaced with a warm fuzzy feeling. It was probably from the sedative the doctor was injecting into her IV, but Emily knew it was the simple fact of just hearing from Hanna.

Emily had grown accustom to forgiving many things, as long as she was still cared about, and in this moment, she knew Hanna still cared.


	16. Chapter 16

"I'm late, but I'm here!" Hanna shouted as she ran towards her boss, a model, and a woman she didn't know.

"Do you have an appointment?" The tall woman standing next to her boss asked.

"I work here. Who are you?" Hanna replied, annoying by the inquisition from a total stranger.

"She's the new you." Her boss responded, "6:30 Hanna, you promised."

"I know but I couldn't find a cab at Grand Central." Hanna said, trying to explain why she was late.

"Your tacky little panda bear mug and the rest of your stuff is over there." Her boss continued, not caring what Hanna's excuse this time was. "Let's end things on a positive note…on the way out, I'll let you get me some gum."

"Get your own damn gum." Hanna shouted back at Claudia, suddenly angrier than the moment required. "I do everything you ask me to do. I've given up everything for you!"

"Oh please, there is a line of girls just waiting to take your place." Claudia responded, un-phased by Hanna's outburst.

"Fine. Let them. I've been pushed around but a lot worse than you." Hanna finished as she walked out, not bothering to grab her stuff.

When she got down to the lobby of the building, the realization of what just happened finally hit her. She had just quit her job, or was fired, but either way, it was over. The job she had sacrificed everything for, she sacrificed her relationship with Emily for. Now it was all for nothing. She felt sick to her stomach suddenly, but pushed her feelings away.

She pulled out her phone and called Jordan. He was on his way to the trunk show to meet her, but had the driver go to her office and pick her up instead.

"You stood up yourself." Jordan said, as he tried to comfort a visibly upset Hanna.

"She's going to black ball me. I should have begged for my job back…" Hanna said between broken sobs.

"That's enough… I'm not going to let you spin out. I'll make a few calls and you'll have 10 interviews tomorrow, you'll see." Jordan said as he reached out to put his arm around her and quiet her hysteria.

"First you need to call the Times. Our wedding announcement cannot say that you're marrying an unemployed former fashion assistant failure." Hanna responded dramatically.

"How about it just reads that I'm marrying the love of my life, my strong willed, not to mention, beautiful fiancé who stands up for herself." He responded, trying to lighten to cheer her up.

Hanna tried to force a smile, but remained quiet, looking out the window instead of back at him.

"What do you want to do? Go back to our place, stop somewhere for a drink? Get out of the city for a few days?" Jordan offered.

"Can we just keep driving?" Hanna finally responded as she settled herself back against his shoulder.

Hanna knew she had promised to be back in Rosewood, but she couldn't bear the thought. How could she face Emily and tell her that she quit her job. Emily had begged her so many times to quit or push back on her boss, but she never had. It was ultimately why they broke up. She couldn't' face Emily know, finally having done it, and over something so stupid.

Hanna pulled out her phone to text Emily and let her know she wouldn't be there until morning. She lied and said that her work function would be running late. She couldn't tell her the truth.

Hanna was surprised to get a text back almost immediately, figuring that Emily would still be in the procedure or just coming out.

 _Hey, it's actually Alison. I'm here with Emily. She should be out of surgery soon. Don't worry, I'll stay with her tonight and take her back to the loft tomorrow._

Hanna was relieved that Emily had someone there for her, but also found herself jealous that Alison now knew Emily's secret and that she would be the one coming through for her. Because yet again, Hanna let her down. She tried to ignore the jealousy and guilt, but they continued eating away at her.

Meanwhile, in the hospital, Emily began to wake up from the anesthesia. She had vivid and terrifying dreams during the surgery and the initial recovery. She dreamt the Sarah Harvey was dressed as a doctor and injecting something into her IV. She could feel herself screaming, but no one seemed to be coming to help.

"No! What did you do to me?! Hanna…?!" Emily shouted as she began waking up from the nightmare.

She felt someone grab her hand and she immediately smiled, assuming it was Hanna.

"Where were you? I've missed you…so much. " She confessed quietly. Her eyes were still fuzzy as the medicine wore off, so all she could see was a blonde girl holding her hand.

Emily was surprised by the voice that responded to her confession, suddenly realizing it was not Hanna there with her after all.

"I was here, the minute you came out of surgery. Get some rest and I'll take you home." Alison responded softly, knowing that Emily was disappointed that it was not Hanna there comforting her.

Eventually a disappointed Emily fell back asleep and continued to have strange dreams. She dreamt about the cabin that she and Hanna had gone to during high school, when she was still mourning Alison. She dreamt about the night in the hospital when Hanna refused to leave her side after she collapsed in the hallway. She even dreamt about their final night together. That final perfect night that turned out so horrible when the day broke and Hanna left her for London.

The series of dreams were so muddled and confusing that she didn't even realize that Alison had already gotten her back to the loft and settled into bed.

"I have to go to work, but I'll be back as soon as school lets out to check on you, OK?" Alison asked just loud enough to pull Emily from her latest dream. Alison was worried about Emily. She barely woke up when the nurse helped Alison get Emily to the car or during the struggle to get her back out of the car, inside, and into bed.

"OK, thanks. I'll be ok. " Emily responded to Alison after she shook her awake enough to understand what was happening.

Several hours later, Emily heard a knock at the door. The medicine had worn off and she now felt sore from the surgery but at least the crazy dreams had subsided.

"Hanna? Is that you? You forgot your key when you left yesterday. Hang on a sec!" Emily shouted as she slowly lifted herself out of bed and slowly walked towards the door.

Emily was surprised she didn't hear Hanna reply back. When she finally got to the door, she opened it to find no one there. There was only a bag on the door mat.

Inside the bag was an empty egg carton with a note: _Give me the killer or I'll use your eggs._

Emily drops the container on the table and walks quickly back to the bed. She grabs her phone and texts Hanna. She was mad at her for not being here, but maybe there was a reason. She was worried that maybe something had happened to her. Maybe she got a threat too. Maybe she was in danger.

Emily could feel her anger quickly turn to panic and prayed Hanna would respond soon.

[Just outside of Rosewood]

Hanna woke up in a cheesy motel to find herself alone. She grabbed her phone and saw dozens of texts. Most of them were from Alison, asking when she was planning to come back and take care of Emily. But she didn't have any texts or messages from Jordan.

Hanna quickly surveyed the rest of the room and couldn't find him. She began to panic, wondering if Sarah/A/whoever figured out the lie and told him the truth about Emily before she had. She was planning to come clean that evening, but then with everything that happened, she hadn't had the strength.

Just as Hanna was beginning to worry that he had truly left her, the door opens with a thud and Jordan appeared, carrying a room service tray.

"Hey…did you order breakfast? This was left outside our room." He said as he entered the room.

"Where were you?!" Hanna practically shouted at him.

"I went downstairs to get coffee and use the wifi so I wouldn't wake you. Sorry I should've left a note…" Jordan said apologetically, not meaning to worry his future bride.

"Don't do that again! Don't leave without telling me where you're going." Hanna responded, still slightly panicked.

 _Hey are you OK? I haven't heard from you since last night. I thought you were coming back? I'm kind of worried. Someone just left this at the door and I'm kind of freaking out… [image attached] – Emily_

Hanna opened the image and saw the threatening note. Hanna knew there would be repercussions for delivering the fake virus-filled drive, but she hadn't realized the extent that Sarah/A/whoever would go to for revenge.

"We need to go." Hanna continued, knowing she needed to go back to Rosewood to be there for Emily and deal with the situation.

"Where are we going?" Jordan asked, surprised but pleased that Hanna was ready to face the world again.

"Back to Rosewood." She responded quickly as she typed out a response to Emily that they were on their way back.

"Ok I'll call the driver. Have some breakfast." Jordan said as he turned to take a quick shower.

"I didn't order any…" Hanna said, mostly to herself, as she lifts the silver plate lid to reveal two broken over easy eggs with "Poor Jordie" written in ketchup along the rim of the plate. Hanna quickly replaced the lid, worried that Jordan would see the contents. As she was carrying the tray back into the hallway, she noticed a note next to the plate.

 _The honeymoon is over!_

Hanna quickly stuffed the card in her bag and began packing. She needed to get back to Rosewood right away. She wanted to check in on Emily but also she knew she needed to tell Jordan the truth, and she wasn't doing that and risk getting left in some cheesy motel room without a car.

On the way back to Rosewood, Hanna got the text from Emily that she was afraid of. Emily explained that the clinic where the eggs were stored had a malfunction and that all the eggs were destroyed. Although based on the threat, both girls assumed her eggs were stolen and the rest were just ruined as a cover.

Jordan could tell something was wrong and pushed Hanna until she filled him in on Emily's procedure and what happened at the clinic. He remained fairly quiet while she explained the situation. He could tell there was still something she was leaving out, but he didn't push her further. He was happy she was opening up about her friends at all. She always seemed so secretive when it came to them, especially about Emily.

When they finally arrived back in Rosewood, Hanna rushed up to the loft to find Emily. Emily had been sick of being in bed, so she had moved to the couch. When Hanna burst in, Emily sat up to allow her some room on the touch next to her. Hanna didn't worry about keeping a respectable distance between them this time, instead she sat down right next to Emily and instinctively reached out to take Emily's hand in her own.

"I'm so sorry Em. I know you weren't going to keep them anyway. But still…sorry…." Hanna apologized, feeling guilty for having poked the bear in the first place.

"I keep thinking about all those other women and couples." Emily said quietly, almost to herself. She was unsure of whether or not Jordan knew about the procedure and he had just brought up Hanna's bag from the car.

"Well, I think you should stay here. You have enough to deal with without having to keep up the shields with your mother." Hanna said quietly, hoping Jordan wouldn't hear. She didn't know how he would feel about Emily staying with her once he found out about their history.

"I think that's an excellent idea." Jordan chimed in from across the room.

"Thanks, I appreciate that. I should run home though and see my mom for at least a little bit today or she'll start getting suspicious." Emily replied, accepting Hanna's offer while realizing Hanna was still holding her hand tightly.

She felt a little strange with such an intimate display of affection in front of Jordan, but since he didn't know, he probably didn't think anything of it. She on the other hand, wasn't sure to make of it. It was comforting to know that Hanna raced back when she learned something was wrong. And it felt good to be so close to her, but it still didn't change the situation.

When Emily finally left a little while later, Jordan turned to Hanna to get an update on the situation he had just learned about in the car.

"So, what did the clinic tell her about the accident?" Jordan asked.

"Mechanical failure." Hanna responded, trying to not seem suspicious of the obvious foul play involved. She felt so bad for Emily.

"And she believes that?" Jordan asked.

"What do you mean 'does she believe that?" Hanna asked, worried she had let her guard down too much and Jordan realized there was more to the story.

"I don't know. The way we rushed back here I thought maybe she thought it was more than that." Jordan responded.

"Because she's a woman pumped with hormones?" Hanna responded, more aggressively than she meant to. She was annoyed at the implication, but also needed to stop Jordan from digging any deeper and getting himself in Sarah/A/whoever's cross hairs.

"No…because of the things you have and your friends have been through in the past." Jordan tried to explain sounding confused by her aggressive tone.

"Ok…so then she's not hormonal, she's just paranoid?" Hanna spat back at him. Half annoyed and half keeping up the act.

"I don't think I'm doing very well in this conversation." Jordan replied, surprised by Hanna's harsh reaction.

"Well you started it!" Hanna replied, sounding like a petulant child.

"Because I'm worried about you. I've never seen you sound so tight…. Come back to the city with me?" Jordan offered. He could see that Rosewood clearly brought out a different side of her. And it was a side of her he wasn't sure he liked.

"I can't. Emily needs me." Hanna replied curtly.

"Yeah? Well, what does Hanna need?" Jordan responded back, frustrated by how the conversation turned. He was trying to show concern and care about her friends, but instead she just got mad at him and started a fight.

Hanna felt bad as she watched Jordan grab his clean clothes that he had left there and gave them to the driver to put back in the car. She wasn't sure what she needed. Part of her needed him. He kept her grounded and safe. But part of her needed Emily and even more so, needed to protect Emily.


	17. Chapter 17

After Jordan left, Hanna felt consumed with guilt. She felt terrible for letting Jordan down and that she was still lying to him. She felt even worse when she thought about what happened to Emily. She had poked the bear, so to speak, when she tried to trick Sarah/A/whoever with that fake hard drive and Emily paid the price.

Hanna still hoped there was some way she could fix this for Emily, she knew how much Emily was hurting and she needed to make it up to her somehow. She knew that Spencer and Aria had found a secret basement entrance under Sarah Harvey's room at The Radley and maybe, just maybe, Emily's eggs were just being held hostage and not already destroyed. If she could get to them, she could return them to Emily and ease her pain.

Hanna quickly raced over to The Radley. She was glad she had made a copy of her mom's master key when she had "borrowed" them to erase the initial footage. It would help her gain access to the places of Radley that no one used or saw anymore. She knew she had to be careful because if she was caught it would raise a lot more questions for both her and her mom. It was risky, but she couldn't let Emily down again if there was something that Hanna could do to help her.

She quietly entered through one of the side exits and made her way to the back of hotel. She knew there was a locked door that had a sign that no one, including hotel staff, was to enter beyond that point. She figured that was where she needed to start.

When she got to the door, she was thankful that the master key worked. She quickly slipped in and locked the door behind her. She turned the flashlight on her phone and saw the stairs leading down to the basement just to her left. She quickly, but careful, began making her way as far down as she could go.

The basement had several different hallways and corridors, but she thought she heard a noise from one off to the right, so she headed that way. Hanna was scared, but felt exhilarated that she might catch Sarah/A/whoever in the act and actually be able to recover Emily's missing eggs.

Hanna followed the sound of the other person's footsteps in the dark, not wanting to alert them to her presence. Her eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness when she came up behind a tall figure in a dark hoodie. She instantly felt a chill go through her body. She had thought her PTSD from what happened to them was long gone, but seeing that hooded figure brought some of those old feelings back.

She refused to let fear take over though. Instead, she thought of what this person had done to Emily and she felt anger rise up in her and she charged at the figure, pushing them back towards the brick wall.

"Owww!" A familiar voice cried out as Hanna slammed them against the wall, effectively pinning them against it.

Hanna struggled to keep the figure pinned against the wall, but when she finally reached for her phone to provide light, so she could finally see who this hidden menace was; she quickly realized it was Emily.

"Em?! What are you doing here?" Hanna shouted in surprise still pressing her against the wall.

"I'm looking for my eggs. Spencer and Aria told me about Sarah's secret ladder to the basement and I just thought that maybe…" Emily responded as she trailed off. Now that the initial pain of being slammed against the wall was gone, she became distracted by the feeling of Hanna's body still pressed against hers.

"Wait…what are you doing here?" Emily finished as she regained her composure, trying to ignore the position they were in.

"Same thing...I just feel so bad that this happened to you because of me." Hanna quietly confessed, as she looked down into the darkness, avoiding Emily's eyes. "I was hoping to find a way to fix this mess I made. I never wanted you to get hurt."

"Hanna…this isn't your fault. Bullies don't need an excuse. Knowing our luck, whoever this new monster is has probably been planning it since the moment I decided to do it. I don't blame you Hanna, please don't blame yourself." Emily responded as she reached her hand up to turn Hanna's face back towards hers. She needed Hanna to know she wasn't responsible. After everything they had been through, it still killed Emily to see Hanna in any kind of pain.

"Still…I feel bad and I want to help." Hanna said before clearing her throat, realizing that she still had Emily pressed against the wall. "Um, let's keep looking, maybe they are still down here." Hanna offered, finally taking a step backwards, a little flustered.

The two girls broke apart from the wall and each other, but kept close in the darkness as they began exploring other parts of the basement. They kept their flashlights off, now that their eyes had adjusted. It was safer, in case they weren't alone.

As they made their way through one of the final hallways, a loud crashing sound echoed around them. The sound frightened both girls, causing Emily to cling to Hanna, in fear. Hanna instinctually wrapped her arms around Emily to protect her, as she reached for her flashlight to illuminate the area where the crash came from.

They soon learned that the noise came from a rat colony that had made their home in what appeared to be an old cleaning closet. One of the rats had pushed an old bottle off one of the shelves, causing the crash.

Even after they learned that it wasn't Sarah/A/whoever coming after them, they both let out a sigh of relief but neither released their hold on the other.

Hanna felt her whole body come alive, in a way that it hadn't in years. Every nerve ending felt like it was a live wire, just humming with electricity from having Emily wrapped in her arms. She turned her face towards Emily to find Emily staring back at her.

As their eyes met, the world fell away. They were no longer two scared girls in a former insane asylum basement, they were two former lovers, both feeling the flame that once burned so bright.

Emily tried her best to seem unaffected, but with little success. She felt her body betray her and gently press further into Hanna. Without her permission, she felt her lips part and her head tilt down towards Hanna.

Hanna's head was spinning. Her body was thrumming with desire and her heart hammering out of her chest. She couldn't be sure, but based on how Emily's eyes keep flickering between her lips and her eyes, it seemed that Emily was as caught up in the moment as she was.

Without another second of hesitation, Hanna leaned forward towards Emily's awaiting lips. Just as their lips were about to touch, both girls' cell phones chirped.

The sound broke the haze they were in and each girl quickly pulled away from the other one, releasing their grips and reaching for their phones to check the message.

 _So my parents just dropped a huge bomb… They are getting married…to EACH OTHER! LOL -_ Aria

Hanna and Emily both laughed quietly to themselves as they typed out their responses. Aria's parents were always on again, off again, but this time maybe they would be on again for good.

After a few congratulatory messages and some mildly humored jokes, Aria wanted to meet up for a drink. Spencer already had plans for the campaign she couldn't break, but Emily and Hanna both agreed that they should meet at The Radley.

Both were secretly happy for the unsuspecting chaperone so they wouldn't have to deal with the almost kiss that just almost happened.

Hanna and Emily made their way back out of the basement and up to the lobby bar for a drink. Neither said much to each other, but once they were seated across from each other at the table, the awkward silence between them was almost deafening.

Finally Hanna couldn't take it anymore and had to say something. "Em…I'm really sorry we didn't find them…"

"Thank you for looking for them Hanna. But, don't worry about it. I just have to face it. One way or another, my eggs are gone." Emily replied sadly.

"Look, Em, you have the money now. Use it! Finish school. I mean that's why you put yourself through all of this in the first place." Hanna responded, trying to focus on the only good part of the situation.

"Yeah…I know. I just feel so bad for those couples that lost their potential babies."

"What happened was terrible, but it's not your fault. You could always donate again if you really wanted to. Just remember to keep some for yourself."

"Ha…yeah…that would mean I actually have to be with someone for that to happen. So far all of my relationships have been….challenging." Emily regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. She wasn't trying to dredge up old issues and she certainly didn't want to turn the conversation back towards them and have to discuss what almost happened in the basement.

"I mean with Paige, who knows. She might be moving to Chicago. And I'm not ready for that. Where I'm at right now, I can't even imagine being in a place where I'm thinking about marriage and kids again." Emily responded, trying to change the subject away from her and Hanna and remind Hanna, and maybe herself too, that she was with Paige.

"Well, regardless of what happens with Paige. You will have kids. I know it." Hanna responded, trying to ignore the twinge of guilt and jealousy that surprisingly came when she said Paige's name.

"I don't know…." Emily responded skeptically.

"Oh come on…you know we'll have kids." Hanna responded, quickly realizing that what she said could be taken the wrong way. "I mean, like all of us. Spencer, Aria, you, me, even Alison. We will all have beautiful children."

"More visualizations?" Aria chimed in as she approached the table and overheard the last part of Hanna's comment.

"Absolutely! Just wait until you see what I have planned for play dates." Hanna joked, hoping to release some of the tension that was building from her slip up. She wanted to play it cool in front of Aria. More questions from her would only make the situation with Emily worse.

Thankfully, Aria's mind was only on the big news her parents had just dropped, so she immediately changed the conversation and began telling the girls the whole story.

She had felt so stupid thinking her father might have had something to do with Charlotte's death, when she found him skulking around The Radley that night. When in fact it was just a secret rendezvous with her mother since they hadn't yet told Aria they were back together.

Emily and Hanna sat quietly and listened to Aria's recount of the story. Both were thankful for the distraction from the millions of questions running through their brains.

 _What did Emily really mean that her relationships were "challenging"? Was she talking about them or just about Paige? And what happened in the basement? I almost kissed her or did she almost kiss me? What does this mean?_ Hanna thought to herself.

Similar thoughts were running through Emily's head. _Why did Hanna go looking for my eggs by herself? And what about that almost kiss in the basement? Did Hanna really mean that "we" would have kids someday? Or did she really just misspeak? What does it all mean?_


	18. Chapter 18

The next few days were awkward, at best. Emily was still staying at the loft, knowing she couldn't go home yet, so Hanna was doing anything and everything she could to try to keep herself busy. She wasn't prepared to face Emily or to get answers to all of the questions she had.

Being out of work made it challenging to find things to keep her busy, she decided to lend her fashion services to Aria's mom, Ella and help her find the perfect wedding dress. She even drove up to New York to get some dresses from a designer friend to take over to Aria's house for Ella to try on and see what style she liked best.

"I feel bad having you do all this when you have your own wedding to plan." Ella said, from the next room as she tried on another wedding dress that Hanna had brought.

"Don't. This is work. Plus we haven't even set a date." Hanna responded honestly. While Jordan had secured the estate in the Hamptons, Hanna had still been dragging her feet. She just wasn't ready to commit to this summer. It seemed so soon and with everything that was going on...

Ella had the next dress on and came back into the living room to show Hanna.

"So, what do you think?" Hanna asked.

"I don't know…it's pretty, but not quite right. Our first wedding was very un-traditional. I know getting married to the same man for a second time isn't exactly traditional either, but I at least want elegant this time." Ella responded, hoping not to hurt Hanna's feelings that she didn't like the dress.

"I can do elegant." Hanna responded, understanding more of what Ella was really looking for.

"Oh I know you can. That's why I was so thankful that you offered to help. Can you show me what you picked out for yourself? Or is that a state secret?" Ella asked sincerely, despite her joking tone at the end.

"Oh, I haven't even thought about what I'm going to wear." Hanna responded quickly as she searched through different designers' digital collections on her iPad for the right dress.

"Really?! I mean your mother already sent out shower invitations…" Ella said, surprised to hear Hanna was so unprepared for her own wedding.

"You know what? Give me until the end of the day. I have the perfect dress!" Hanna responded, desperately wanting to change the topic of conversation, as she packed up her things to go out in search of the right dress.

When Hanna returned that afternoon with a dress that Ella fell in love with, she felt relief. At least she was still in control of one area of her life. She knew she was a talent stylist and for right now, that had to be enough.

For Emily, the days after the almost kiss with Hanna were painstakingly slow. She was technically living with Hanna at the loft, but rarely ever saw her. It seemed like Hanna looked for any excuse not to be there when Emily was. She'd leave early in the morning before Emily got up and sometimes wouldn't come back until after Emily had gone to sleep for the night.

It finally got to the point where Emily could no longer take it. She had already been in room for the evening when she heard Hanna come back to the apartment. It took her a few minutes to build up her courage, but she knew she had to go out there and clear the air.

When she finally forced herself to get up, she could hear that Hanna was on the phone. She couldn't tell who she was talking to, but she decided to pretend that she needed some water from the kitchen as an excuse to go out there. What she saw when she got there though, stopped her dead in her tracks.

When Hanna had come home with all of the dresses that she had brought over for Ella, she couldn't stop thinking about the question from earlier. She had lied when she had said she hadn't thought about what she was going to wear. Of course she had.

The dress she had been dreaming about, practically her whole life was similar to one of the dresses she had pulled for Ella's fitting. Unsure as to why, but Hanna suddenly felt the urge to try the dress on.

Assuming Emily was asleep, she didn't bother to go into her room to get changed, she simply slid off her current dress and stepped into the gown. She zipped up the back as far as she could and then used a clip to hold the top together.

Putting on the dress made Hanna feel like the princess she always imagined she would be on her wedding day. She caught her reflection in the floor to ceiling windows of the loft. She was surprised to learn that seeing herself as bride made her think of both Emily and Jordan, in that order.

There had once been a time in her life where she couldn't have imagined anyone else at the end of that aisle but Emily. But things had changed now, and she had Jordan.

He was kind, and sweet, and patient with her. She instantly began feeling guilty for how she had been treating him lately. She had been cold and distant. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve her and all of the lies she had been telling him.

She knew in that moment that she couldn't wait any longer to tell him the truth. He needed to know now. She grabbed her phone from her purse and called him. She was frustrated when it went to voicemail, but just left a quick message that she had something important she needed to tell him and to call her back right away.

After she hung up, she stood and looked at her reflection in the window again but was startled by Emily's gasp from across the room.

"…wow…you look so…beautiful…." Emily said after she had gasped quietly, but loud enough that Hanna could still hear her in the silent apartment.

"Emily?! I thought you'd be asleep. I'm sorry if I woke you!" Hanna exclaimed as she tried to hide herself behind the rack of dresses. She was unsure why she didn't want Emily to see her in that dress. After all, it would only be bad luck for Jordan to see her in it, since he was the one she was marrying.

Seeing Hanna in that gown broke all of Emily's former resolve. She had been ready to confront Hanna for avoiding her and for being so distant, but now she couldn't even remember why she had come out of her room in the first place.

Emily felt herself walking towards Hanna, who was still trying to shield herself from Emily's gaze. Finally, Emily was close enough that she was able to see Hanna fully.

"You look just like I always pictured you would…breathtaking…." Emily said quietly, almost as if only to herself.

Upon hearing Emily's whispers of adoration, Hanna finally forced herself to look back at Emily. Emily's hair was in a messy bun and she was dressed only in an oversized college t-shirt that was falling off her left shoulder.

 _She looked beautiful. But, she always looked beautiful._ Hanna thought to herself.

The two held each other's gaze for what felt like hours, but was probably less than a minute. In that time, so much was said by both, without uttering a single word. It was clear the love between them was still there. They cared for each other in a way that no one else ever could. They were each other's first love.

Each girl thought of the wedding and the life together they had often discussed. The countless times they clung to each other as they made love. And even the kiss that almost transpired a few days before.

As Emily thought about the almost kiss, she reached out and took Hanna's hand in her own. She tugged on it, pulling Hanna closer to her. With her other hand, she reached up and brushed one of Hanna's curls away from her face before cradling her cheek.

Hanna was frozen in place, relishing in Emily's touch against her skin. As much as she tried, she couldn't tear her eyes away from Emily's lips. Hanna instinctually wet her own, both hoping and knowing where this was headed.

Seeing Hanna in that wedding dress had overwhelmed Emily. She was no longer thinking, just acting on emotions as they came to the surface. She could see that Hanna reacting to her touch and even licking her lips in anticipation.

Before either could catch their breath from the moment, Hanna felt Emily's lips crash against her own. Kissing Emily felt exactly like she remembered, but somehow even better than before. There was no hesitation in the kiss, only desperation.

Hanna clung to Emily as she felt Emily's hand move from face to her back. Emily's hands quickly released the clip that was holding the top of Hanna's dress on. Once unclasped, she moved her hands lower to the zipper and lowered it all the way down. Hanna felt the dress fall and pool at her feet, so she stepped out of the dress and pushed Emily's backwards towards the couch.

Emily's knees hit the back of the couch and they broke away only for a split second as Hanna pushed Emily to sit down and climbed on her lap before kissing Emily again. Just as Hanna was about to lift Emily's shirt off and escalate things even further, a loud buzz rang through the loft and forced them to break away from the kiss. Both looked at the other, confused as to who would be showing up at the loft unannounced this late at night and trying to catch their breath.

Hanna watched Emily walk over to answer the buzzer, as she quickly tried to find her original dress on the floor and slip it on so she wasn't just standing in the middle of the apartment in her underwear.

Emily glanced back to make sure Hanna was dressed or at least out of view before she opened the door. She figured it would be Spencer or Aria with some news about Sarah/A/whoever, but she was wrong.

"Hey babe…miss me?" Paige said, as she pulled Emily in for a kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

[Hanna's POV]

"Hey babe…miss me?" Paige said as she pulled Emily in for a kiss.

Hanna positioned herself so that she was hidden from the door and slid her original dress back on. As she recognized the voice, reality began to set back in. She and Emily had fallen back into an old habit, but things were different now. She was with Jordan and Emily was with Paige. They shouldn't be in this situation, they shouldn't be doing this.

Hanna gathered from conversations with Emily that Paige knew Emily was staying at the loft, but she was unsure if Paige knew that Hanna was there too. Hanna wondered though how Paige felt about it, if she did in fact know, or whether Emily was hiding it from her.

Not wanting to add any additional drama to the already confusing night, she quietly tip-toed towards her room. Just as she was about to shut the door, she glanced back and saw Emily and Paige kissing. Hanna couldn't help herself, she watched the embrace until it became unbearable. She shut the door as quietly as she could and pressed her back against the door closing her eyes.

Hanna's heart sank and she felt sick to her stomach. She wasn't sure if it was guilt from having just cheated on Jordan or jealousy from knowing Paige was now kissing Emily, not her. She rested back against the door trying to control her emotions.

 _Why did this hurt so much?_

As she climbed into bed, she reached for her phone to see if Jordan had called back, but he hadn't. It was late but she thought maybe he'd still be up, so she tried him again.

"Hello?" Jordan said dully into the phone.

"Hey! Did you get my message from earlier?" Hanna asked, surprised that he hadn't called back and that he didn't sound all that excited to hear from her.

"Yeah. I did." He said matter-of-factly.

"Oh, okay...why didn't you call me back? You can't still be at the office…" Hanna responded, trying to figure out why he wouldn't have called.

"Because I wasn't quite sure what to say." He replied shortly.

"What do you mean?" Hanna asked, now very confused.

"Well, one of your shower gifts was delivered to the apartment tonight. There wasn't a card, so I opened it so I could figure out who it was from…" Jordan began.

"Oh, no big deal. I don't care that you opened it. It's actually better that you did. It'd be embarrassing if whoever sent it was at my shower this weekend and I didn't say anything." Hanna rambled on, not realizing there was more to what Jordan was trying to say.

"Hanna…I'm not trying to apologize for opening it…" Jordan said, frustrated. "It's what the gift was that I'm trying to talk to you about."

"Ok, well what was it?" Hanna replied, still clearly confused.

"It was a scrapbook that someone made for you of your life." Jordan responded with an edge to his tone.

"Ok…and?" Hanna asked, too emotionally exhausted from the evening's events to realize why he was upset.

"And it shows your whole life before me." Hanna suddenly sat up a little, feeling a panic spread through her chest, listening to Jordan speak. "Your life which apparently had a LOT to do with Emily." He paused then, Hanna could hear some shuffling in the background, like a page turning. "There's exactly one page with you and Caleb.. and about 20 with you and Emily. As a couple..." He paused and silence hung between them. Hanna didn't know what to say or how to apologize.

Jordan cleared his throat before he continued. "Hanna, were you ever going to tell me about her?" Jordan asked, sounding both frustrated and defeated. Hanna couldn't blame him, after all, she had been lying to him for their entire relationship.

"Oh…" Hanna responded, not sure at first of what else to say. "Jordan, I-I was going to tell you. It was just never the right ti-"

Jordan interrupted her sounding incredulous. "Really? In the 4 years there was never a time you could have told me? What about in the beginning when you were heartbroken in London? What about when you went to dinner with Caleb and I assumed he was the one you had loved? Or even a recently when I met Emily for the first time? You should have told me the truth Hanna. I deserved to know who really left you heartbroken in Europe. I deserved to know. Honestly, any of those times would have been better than finding out this way."

Hanna didn't know what to say, she didn't know how to comfort him. She felt even more sick. She knew time had been running out on telling him. Sarah/A/whoever had put her on a clock and she missed the deadline. Now he found out from someone else and she couldn't fix it.

"Jordan, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say, except that I'm sorry." Hanna said as tears began falling down her face.

"Just tell me this, do you still love her?" Jordan asked harshly.

"No." Hanna lied. She closed her eyes feeling the weight of yet another lie.

Hanna knew lying is what got her into this mess in the first place, but she couldn't tell him the truth. She couldn't tell him that just minutes earlier, they had been kissing and that if Paige wouldn't have shown up, they would probably be making love right now. She couldn't tell him that Emily felt like home, that Emily was the table, that Emily was the thing she couldn't let go. She wasn't brave enough, she was a coward. The truth was, she couldn't lose him. It wasn't fair to him, but she needed him. He was her rock and she needed that in her life.

"I don't want her staying at the loft anymore." Jordan said simply. He didn't have to say it, but he basically proposed an ultimatum. It was either him or Emily.

"….Okay." Hanna accepted his demands quietly. She didn't have it in her to fight him anymore, she was exhausted. The day had drained her and while everything about her was raging against the ultimatum, she was too tired. While she knew it'll be tricky to essentially kick Emily out, maybe it would be for the best. Clearly they need some distance right now.

"Thank you…And look, I don't think I can make an appearance at your shower this weekend. I know I said I would, but I have some work to do in the city and I don't have the time to drive back and forth." Jordan told her, half truthfully. He knew she wouldn't protest, even though part of him wanted her to.

"Okay. I understand." Hanna responded softly. She knew he was getting busier with work, but deep down she knew that he hadn't forgive her yet and he wasn't ready to see her until he had. However long that might be.

"It's been a long night, I think I'm going to get some sleep." Jordan said, sounding just as emotionally exhausted as Hanna felt.

"OK good night." Hanna responded, unsure if she should say anything more.

Just as Hanna was about to hang up, she heard Jordan speak again, "I love you."

"I love you too." Hanna replied softly before hanging up.

She did still love him, but it didn't change the fact that she still loved Emily. She would probably always love Emily. But that didn't mean that they were right for each other. Emily and Hanna had their shot before and it didn't work. That should be enough, right?

As much as Hanna tried to rationalize the ultimatum that Jordan presented her with, the more she struggled with it. She told him she'd have Emily leave, but how could she actually kick her out.

Paige was back in town and maybe Emily will go on her own and stay with her. Hanna thought to herself, before feeling jealousy creep up again.

 _Ugh, this is going to be a long night…_


	20. Chapter 20

"Hey babe…miss me?" Paige said as she pulled Emily in for a kiss.

"Paige? Wow…hi…I wasn't expecting you to be back tonight…" Emily responded cutting the kiss short, hoping Hanna hadn't seen their embrace.

Paige noticed that Emily was more startled than she expected, but she blamed it on the late hour. Perhaps she had just woken Emily up, after all, she was dressed like she had been in bed and her hair was awfully messy.

"I know, I'm sorry, I just too excited to see you that I couldn't wait. I took an earlier flight." Paige responded as she walked past Emily into the loft.

Emily quickly spun around to make sure that Hanna wasn't standing almost naked in the living room. She was thankful that Hanna was out of sight, but there was a large pit growing in her stomach. It was a mixture of guilt and disappointment.

"Wow, this place is amazing. It's nice of Hanna to let you stay here while she's in New York." Paige said as she walked further into the apartment.

"Actually, Hanna isn't in New York. Um, she ended up changing her plans. She's been staying here the last couple of nights too." Emily confessed. She didn't want Paige accidently finding out later and getting suspicious, considering she was just technically  
cheating on her.

"Oh? Well, I guess that would explain the wedding dresses all over the place. Did they finally set a date for this summer?" Paige asked as she chuckled to herself. She didn't love the idea of them under the same room but at least it was a two-bedroom  
unit and Hanna was clearly moving forward with wedding planning.

"Umm... I'm not exactly sure. We've been on different schedules the last couple days so I haven't really had time to talk with her." Emily responded honestly. They really hadn't done much talking at all tonight and before that, she hadn't seen her since  
the egg hunt at The Radley.

"Fair enough. I'm more interested in you and how you've holding up anyway. Are you OK? I can't believe it about the malfunction at the clinic…" Paige asked, feeling horrible that she had been out of town when all of this was happening to Emily.

"I'm ok, just tired. Is it okay, if we just go to bed?" Emily asked, not wanting to keep piling on the lies that she was telling Paige. She needed some time to think about what happened between her and Hanna.

"Of course." Paige responded with a wink, wrapping an arm around her waist and moving forward to close the distance between them.

Emily knew what Paige was hinting at, but wasn't in the mood. Actually she was still fairly worked up, but the simple fact that she had gotten worked up with someone other than her girlfriend, someone who she had a very complicated past with, was only  
making her feel worse. She shifted slightly away from Paige sighing softly.

"It's been a long day Paige." Emily said softly avoiding Paige's eyes.

Paige was disappointed, but understanding. She was hoping her homecoming would have been more memorable, but Emily was exhausted. After all, Emily had been through a lot over the last several days, it was probably taking a large toll on her.

Emily tried to cuddle against Paige, but couldn't find the right spot to get comfortable. She couldn't help but thinking about how perfectly Hanna fit against her. Dismissing these thoughts, she eventually gave up and turned over so that her back was  
to Paige.

She was exhausted, but she knew she wouldn't sleep. She kept thinking about the moments before Paige arrived and what could have, or would have, happened if she hadn't come back early.

Emily closed her eyes tightly trying to will the thoughts away, but that only seemed to make it worse. Kissing Hanna, touching her, things had escalated quickly so Emily was pretty sure they would have ended up having sex. But what that would have meant,  
she didn't know. She didn't know how Hanna was feeling or if she regretted it.

Emily felt horrible about cheating on Paige and lying in bed with her right now wasn't helping matters. Emily sighed and tried to readjust herself yet again. She kept thinking about all the complications in her life. Hanna and Jordan, Paige and her...  
Yes, Paige and Emily had only been together a couple weeks. But, Hanna had been with Jordan for years and they were engaged. As in married. And soon.

 _Oh god…what did I just do?_

[The next morning]

Neither of the girls got much sleep, but neither wanted to be the first ones to come out of their rooms the next morning. Hanna wasn't looking forward to the conversation she had to have with Emily. She wasn't quite sure how to tell Emily that Jordan  
now knew about them and that he didn't want Emily staying at the apartment. Hanna didn't want to kick Emily out, but she didn't want to lose Jordan either. This was a lose-lose situation.

Plus, if she was being honest with herself, she wasn't super excited about sharing her morning coffee across the table from Emily and Paige either, especially after last night.

Paige was actually the first one up that morning, anxious about her parents flying in that morning. One of Paige's Aunts, who still lived in the Philadelphia area was turning 50 and the whole family had been working on a surprise birthday party for her.  
Emily was thankful that Paige hadn't asked her to come to the party and had slipped out early that morning to stay in Philadelphia for the next few nights. She didn't want to run the risk of Paige catching on to the weirdness between her and Hanna.

As Paige left the apartment, she ran into Spencer, Aria, and Hanna's mom outside. They were all heading to the loft set up for Hanna's bridal shower. Given everything on their mind, both Hanna and Emily were lying in their beds and had forgotten that  
everyone was coming over and were surprised when they heard the doorbell buzz.

At the sound of the buzzer, both girls pulled themselves out of bed with a groan. They both moved out of their bedrooms and made their way toward the door. The buzzer sound had brought back flashbacks from the night before and both girls were visibly  
flushed and tired by the time they made their way to the living room. For the briefest of moments, their eyes locked, but when the doorbell buzzed again, Hanna broke away from the gaze to open the door.

"Good morning ladies! Don't worry…we brought coffee…" Spencer announced as she handed both Hanna and Emily cups from The Brew.

Not enough coffee in the world would have prepared Hanna for the cheeriness that entered the apartment. It always amazed her how everyone seemed to thrive when they got up early. She always preferred to sleep until at least 10am, but maybe that's because  
she was always out so late the night before.

Emily gladly accepted the cup from Spencer and tried to avoid future eye contact with Hanna. She wasn't ready to talk about whatever that was last night or what it meant.

"I'm so excited for you Han! So much love is in their air lately with you and Jordan, my parents, and I think even Alison is hooking up with that doctor guy." Aria chirped, unaware of the tension that formed between Hanna and Emily at the mention of the  
word "love".

"Aria, I'm really happy for your parents. I just heard from Hanna they are tying that knot again in just a few weeks!" Hanna's mom chimed in.

"You know what Aria, maybe your parents have the right idea. If you plan a quickie wedding, no one tries to throw you bridal shower and wakes you up at the crack of dawn!" Hanna said, only half joking.

"Since when do you not like bridal showers? Attention, gifts, cake. That's all up your alley." Spencer mocked, at Hanna's expense.

Hanna shot Spencer a fake glare, or at least she was pretending it was fake. Her pending nuptials were not something she wanted to be celebrating right now. Jordan may still love her but he hasn't exactly forgiven her for lying to him. Plus whatever was  
going on between her and Emily only complicated matters further.

Hanna did her best to pretend to be a better mood, but couldn't shake the horrible feeling in her stomach and the fact that Emily refused to look her in the eye again.

The final straw was broken though when her mom held up a board game _: Are you naughty or nice?_

"Is this too risqué for the party?" Ashley asked the girls, causing Spencer and Aria burst out laughing, but Hanna and Emily stayed stone faced even though both were mortified on the inside. Emily tried to play it cool by getting up and pretending to  
root around in the fridge for something to drink. But Hanna couldn't take it anymore, she needed this to stop.

"You know maybe we should cancel? Reschedule for another time?" Hanna offered, desperately hoping to delay this "celebration" until she was on better terms with Jordan and things weren't so horribly awkward with Emily.

"The party is tomorrow, Hanna. We can't reschedule. You have friends coming in from New York. You need this. All of you do, it'll be a good distraction." Ashley responded, annoyed that Hanna was trying to delay yet another piece of the wedding planning  
process.

Hanna huffed to herself, quietly accepting the fact that the shower was happening, whether she liked it or not.

The rest of the morning went on fairly uneventfully. The girls finished decorating the loft. Emily avoided having to speak directly to Hanna and successfully hid her emotions from the other girls. To her knowledge, none of them suspected anything was  
going on between her and Hanna.

When Spencer and Aria left, Emily decided to go with them. She knew Aria was headed back to The Brew to see Ezra, so she tagged along and figured some time away from Hanna would do her good.

Hanna's mom stayed behind. She had noticed the awkwardness between the girls and wanted to talk to Hanna about it privately.

"So…what is going on between you and Emily?" Ashley tried to ask casually, as she was finishing the last of the party trimmings.

"What are you talking about?" Hanna asked, trying to control the panic that was washing over her. _Was she that obvious? Was it obvious?_ She thought they did a good job of avoiding each other that morning.

"I don't know. Something just seemed off with you both this morning." Ashley added tentatively. She was not trying not to start a fight with her daughter the day before her bridal shower.

"I can't speak for Emily, but I was just in a bad mood because Jordan told me last night that he couldn't make it to the shower. I mean, it will be awkward opening gifts by myself." Hanna responded quickly. It was technically true, she was just omitting  
a few key details.

"Oh, well if that's all...I wouldn't worry about it." Ashley replied, trying to re-assure Hanna that it wasn't a big deal. A lot of guys don't go to the bridal shower at all.

"That's all? So, you are all concerned about Emily but don't even care that Jordan isn't coming to my wedding shower?" Hanna responded, feeling the irritation with her mother rising up to her face. "Just admit it, you like Emily more than you like Jordan!  
You have never given Jordan a real chance!"

Ashley held up her hand to cut Hanna off, "Hanna, that's crazy! I think Jordan is great. I just don't know him as well as I know Emily."

She did think Jordan was a great guy, but she hadn't really seen them together as a couple all that much. The only significantly relationship she had exposure to was when she was with Emily. Emily lived with them the majority of their time together and  
she had known the girl since she and Hanna were little kids together.

"Well…how could you? You've never tried to get to get to know him or spend time with him." Hanna spat back at Ashley. She knew her mother didn't dislike Jordan, but she was in a bad mood and it was far easier being mad at her mom than at herself or the  
situation she had gotten herself into with Emily.

"That's not fair. I have invited you both back here on multiple occasions." Ashley snapped. "You just never came until the courts forced you to." Ashley shot back at Hanna, now growing tired of being her punching bag.

"Whatever…I don't want to talk about this…" Hanna finished as she grabbed the keys to Lucas's Jaguar and headed for the door.


	21. Chapter 21

It was finally the day that Hanna had been dreading, her bridal shower. She was now thankful that Jordan decided not to come, because she hadn't exactly told Emily that she couldn't stay with her anymore. She hadn't even seen her since the morning before when everyone was over to set up for the party.

Emily had stayed at The Brew for the majority of the day and even drove into Philly that evening to meet Paige and her parents for dinner. When she had finally returned to the loft, she quietly let herself in and tip-toed as quickly as possible to the bedroom.

Emily still wasn't sure what the kiss with Hanna meant, but all she knew was that she didn't want to think about it. She was with Paige now and they had a good thing going. She didn't want to screw that up for someone who wasn't even available. Someone that was getting married. Someone that couldn't feel the same way.

Emily wasn't exactly looking forward to the bridal shower either, but knew she couldn't avoid it. She knew she had to show up, she lived there after all. Thankfully Aria and Spencer arrived early, so there was very little time that Hanna and Emily were actually alone in the apartment together.

As other guests began arriving, Hanna was pulled in a million different directions, greeting everyone and thanking them for coming. It was challenging at first to sidestep the dozen or so questions, mostly from her New York friends, as to why Jordan wasn't there, but eventually the lie became a well-rehearsed script.

Hanna's mom noticed her irritation and while they were still technically fighting, she wanted this shower to fun for Hanna. After all, Hanna would only get one bridal shower and she would only get to be the mother of bride once. A role she took very seriously.

As the party continued, Ashley began rounding up guests to play some games. She knew Hanna felt like she hadn't given Jordan enough of a chance, so she had stayed up late the night before putting questions together that all had to do with Jordan. She wanted to show Hanna how much she did know about him and prove that she really did like him.

"So for 25 points, where did Jordan propose?" Ashley asked.

Spencer was fidgeting in her seat, she loved competition and knowing more than everyone else, so she quickly yelled out the answer.

"Correct!" Ashley exclaimed before launching into the next question. "Ok, for 50 points, how did the bride and groom meet, Aria?"

"Umm…yeah…I think it was at a mutual friend's party?" Aria answered tentatively, not seeming to recall if that was the right answer.

"Nope, sorry. Spencer, since you answered the last question, you have the chance to steal…" Ashley chimed in, keeping the game going.

"Wait, I know this…" Spencer responded as she racked her brain trying to remember if Hanna had ever told her the story of how they met.

Emily knew the answer, or at least the story that she had crafted in her head when she learned that Hanna had moved on after their break up. That story, even though it probably didn't match the actual truth of how they met, always bothered Emily. Now, given the events of the last several days, it was affecting her even more than she cared to admit.

Hanna could feel the tension rolling off of Emily and couldn't take any more questions about Jordan either. Hanna wasn't even sure whether there would be a wedding. He hadn't forgiven her and he had barely even spoken to her since their conversation a few nights earlier when he found out about Emily. She couldn't exactly tell anyone that though.

"You know...this game is kind of silly. Isn't there one where you take a shot everyone someone says the word bride?" Hanna tried to interject jokingly as she stood up to get a much needed cocktail.

As Hanna left the game, Emily took this as an opportunity to stand up and try to shake off the jealousy and irritation that she was feeling. The living room was feeling crowded so she headed towards the dining room area where it was more quiet, needing a second or two to clear her head.

Emily felt her phone vibrate, so she sat her drink and purse down on the ledge of the fireplace to retrieve her phone and check her message. She assumed the text would be from Paige, checking in from her family party but was surprised to see it was actually from Hanna.

 _I can't take the awkwardness anymore. Can we talk tonight, after the party? Please?_ – Hanna

Emily hesitated a second before beginning to text back, unsure at first of how to respond. However, she was quickly interrupted though by extremely loud heavy metal music that began blaring through the loft.

"Mom, turn it off!" Hanna yells from across the room.

"I'm trying, it's stuck!" Ashley responds, frustrated with this whole "smart loft" thing that doesn't actually make any sense. All she was trying to do was put on some fun and upbeat background music, since clearly the games hadn't gone over well with her daughter.

"Here, let me try." Hanna yells, as she snatches the tablet away from her mother.

Hanna hits a few more buttons, but doesn't make things any better. She finally got the music off, but it was replaced by a loud panic alarm. The tablet was flashing "Total System Failure" at her in large red letters but she kept looking for some kind of override button.

Just as she finds a way to turn off the system, she hears a loud whoosh sound and a blood curdling scream. She would know the scream anywhere and instantly felt her entire body break out into a cold sweat.

The fireplace that Emily had been standing next to had turned on, full blast. The flames engulfed her for several seconds before she fell to the floor in agonizing pain.

Without thinking, Hanna felt herself running towards Emily and the flames. Spencer grabbed the tablet as Hanna ran past her and eventually got the system to turn off entirely.

The next half an hour was a total blur for both Emily and Hanna. Emily was in shock from the trauma and was slipping in and out of consciousness from the pain. Hanna spent the time trying to comfort Emily, she couldn't remember exactly what had all happened. All she remembered was screaming and crying. Hanna wasn't sure though if they were coming from Emily or from herself.

When the ambulance finally came, Hanna demanded to ride with Emily. She hadn't let go of her hand the entire time since it happened and refused to even as the parameters loaded her into the vehicle. Ashley followed in her car behind the ambulance, as the Spencer and Aria stayed back to clean up and close down the party.

When they got to the hospital, the doctors wouldn't let Hanna go back with Emily. She wasn't family, so instead they directed her to the waiting room. Hanna and her mother sat for what felt like hours in worried silence.

Finally, Ashley took Hanna's hand in hers and broke the silence, "Hanna, are you-"

She broke off when Emily's mom came bursting into the hospital and headed straight over to the nurse's desk for an update.

Both Hanna and her mother stood up instantly and moved closer to the congestion. Hanna was thankful that Pam had arrived because the nurses had refused to give them any updates directly, since they weren't family.

Hanna watched on anxiously while Pam spoke with the doctor. Ashley could feel the tension and worry coursing through Hanna's body. She so she instinctively put her arm around her daughter's shoulders.

"Well, they are going to admit her for the night. She has second degree burns on her arms and legs, but they said she'll be alright and hopefully will have minimal scarring." Pam turned and announced to Ashley and Hanna, before being lead back to see Emily.

Hanna let out the breath that she had been holding since she had heard Emily's scream from across the loft. After hearing that Emily would be okay, she finally let herself relax into her mother's comforting embrace.

"Mom…I'm really sorry for being such a bridezilla. Clearly I haven't been doing a good job of including Jordan in my life, not the other way around." Hanna said apologetically.

"Can I ask you a question? Is there more to Jordan's absence today than just work?" Ashley asked tentatively. She genuinely wanted to know what was going on in her daughter's life, but was not looking to start another fight.

"Yeah…I lied to him about something pretty huge and he isn't ready to forgive me. I'm honestly not sure if he ever will…" Hanna confessed.

"Does this have anything to do with Emily? You two have been acting so strangely around each other the last few days…" Ashley asked, not daring to bring up the intense intimacy and protectiveness that Hanna displayed after the accident.

"Yes…but honestly, I'm not ready to talk about it. Not at least until I can talk to Emily about it." Hanna replied, hoping her mother would accept her truth and not push further.

"Ok…well just know that I love you no matter what, OK?" Ashley responded as she squeezed Hanna's shoulder.

"I know, thanks mom." Hanna said quietly. "Look, why don't you go back home... I think I'm going to stay a while longer and make sure Emily is okay."

Ashley understood what Hanna was trying to say and pulled her daughter in for a long hug before collecting her things and leaving the hospital.

Once her mother had left, Hanna quickly texted the update to Spencer and Aria, knowing they would be just as worried, before she headed to the cafeteria and gift shop to prepare for the long night ahead.


	22. Chapter 22

A couple hours later, after Emily's mother had left the hospital, Hanna snuck into Emily's room to check on her. Emily was exhausted from the trauma and the medicine the nurse gave her, but she couldn't help but smile at the sight of Hanna carefully tip-toeing into her hospital room.

"Hey…I didn't mean to wake you… Are you in any pain?" Hanna asked quietly.

"They gave me something, but the nurse said it'll be a long night." Emily responded back, trying to downplay the pain she was in, knowing Hanna felt bad enough already.

"Well, I'm prepared for that. We have reading material, chocolate, gummy bears, several sets of..." Hanna trailed off as she saw Emily's face fall.

Emily was thankful that Hanna brought her all of these things, but what she wanted most was her. She wanted Hanna to be there for her, like she hadn't been after her procedure.

"Hey….don't be scared, I'm here. I know that I wasn't here for you after you donated your eggs, I should have been. I'm so sorry about that. But, I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere." Hanna reassured a worried and sad looking Emily.

Emily smiled softly and shifted in the bed, allowing enough room for Hanna to climb in next to her. Emily immediately leaned against Hanna and laid her head on her shoulder. The position wasn't new to either of them and for both held a familiarity that was hard to ignore.

This wasn't their first time sharing a hospital bed. It was actually how they got together as a couple. It had been building up for a long time, but it all came bubbling over the surface one night when Emily had collapsed at school, having been unknowingly using steroids instead of pain cream, compliments of the original A. That night, many years ago, they cleared the air between them and confessed their love for one another.

This night was different though. They weren't two teenagers who had fallen in love for the first time, they were both with other people now. Their lives were infinitely more complicated than when they were 16.

"So…you said you wanted to talk?" Emily asked quietly. She was afraid to broach the subject and learn that Hanna regretted the other night. But she was more afraid not asking and having the awkward silence that had been between them recently become more permanent.

"I did…I mean, I do. But I don't know if this is the right time...I mean, I want to be fair to you Em. You're pretty heavily sedated and I don't want you to say something you regret later." Hanna explained. She didn't want to start a conversation this big when Emily was in such a compromising position. There was so much potential for uncertainty or risk Emily saying something that she'd later regret.

"It may not be the right time, but I can't continue on the way we have the last few days. It's too exhausting trying to not be a part of your life. I miss you." Emily quietly confessed.

"I know, it's hard for me too. But, seeing you and Paige together...It stirs up so many old feelings and emotions. Or maybe even new or existing ones. I don't know…" Hanna tried to explain but trailed off.

"It's the same for me too Hanna. I had to go to a bridal shower today, as in a wedding shower. You're wedding shower, because you're getting married…to someone who isn't me…" Emily said, just barely above a whisper as tears began forming in her eyes.

"Hey….shh…I'm sorry, this is why we shouldn't…." Hanna whispered trailing off as she wiped away a tear that had fallen down Emily's cheek. "Em, why don't you get some sleep. I'll stay here, just like this, and we can talk more in the morning, OK?"

Emily softly nodded her head in agreement and curled further into Hanna. Hanna held Emily like she had so many times in the past, desperately wanting to reassure Emily that she had nothing to worry about. That there probably wouldn't even be a wedding, that she was starting to realize what she really wanted, but this wasn't the right time or place to have that conversation.

Jordan hadn't forgiven her and she wasn't sure if he ever would. But even more so, she wasn't sure anymore if she needed him to. This whole time, she thought of him as her rock, the thing she needed. But when she heard Emily scream, something finally clicked back into place. Suddenly, she knew it wasn't Jordan that she needed, it was Emily.

Emily had always been her rock, long before she even knew Jordan. Her breakup with Emily was the reason that Jordan entered into her life to begin with. He wasn't the one she was meant to spend the rest of her life, he was just a stand-in; a temporary plug to try to fill the hole that Emily had left in her heart.

Hanna felt at peace with Emily lying against her. As she began falling asleep, she thought back to that summer they were together, and how things could have ended so differently if she hadn't walked away or had fought harder for them.

 _[Flashback]_

 _"What does that mean?" Hanna asked, frustrated with Emily._

 _"I mean I won't be waiting for you. We'll be done." Emily said with tears in her eyes, "I can't do this anymore… We never see each other and it's clear we have priorities that aren't each other, and don't even involve each other anymore."_

 _"I can't not go Emily. This is a big deal and I already told my boss I would. I'll lose my internship if I don't." Hanna explained as she packed up the last of her bags._

 _"Em, we'll work this out, OK? We always do." Hanna said from the doorway, with tears filling her own eyes as she turned and walked out of the hotel room._

 _Hanna had made it halfway to the train station when she realized the mistake she had made. She couldn't leave things like that with Emily. She had to go back and work this out, even if it meant she'd be a day or two late for her new position. She and Emily were meant to be._

 _She quickly instructed the cab driver to turn around and to take her back to the hotel. An accident or some kind of traffic caused the taxi to come to a screeching halt. She had tried calling Emily a few times from the back of the cab, but she hadn't answered, not that Hanna really expected her to._

 _The delay was too much for Hanna to bear, so she quickly threw money at the driver and grabbed her bags. It was pouring rain, but Hanna barely noticed as she raced through the streets of Paris, back to the hotel. By the time she made it, she was soaking wet, but didn't care. The only thing that mattered was Emily._

 _When she got back to the hotel, she raced up to the room. She was thankful she still had the key card in her purse, because she wasn't sure Emily would have let her in after walking out on her. Once she finally got in the room, she searched the living room, bedroom, and bathroom, but there were no signs of Emily or any of her belongings. Hanna tried calling Emily's cell phone again, but her heart sank when she heard the ringing coming from within the room._

 _The realization finally hit her that she was too late. Emily had left and they were over, just like Emily had warned. Hanna's heart broke into a million pieces as tears began streaming uncontrollably down her face._

 _Needing the night to regain some semblance of composure, she took first train to London the next morning. She was determined to make the most of this job that had just cost her everything._

 _The job was what she had always dreamed of, but she couldn't even feel it. She got to work with designers all day and go to fancy industry parties, but she was miserable and lonely every night that she came back to an empty hotel room and looked at the pillow that Emily should have been sleeping on, next to her._

 _Hanna had tried emailing Emily dozens of times, and she even resorted to begging their mutual friends for her new number, which none of them seemed to have. A few weeks later, she decided that she needed to try one last time to get Emily back._

 _She cleared her plans with work for a few days. Her boss was furious, but she made up a story about a sick Aunt and guilt-tripped her boss until she let her leave. The flight to Omaha was long, especially in the crappy last minute coach seat that she blew her savings on, but she knew it would be worth it just to get a few moments alone with Emily. She needed to explain and to tell her how much she loved and needed her in her life._

 _Hanna arrived at the swimming facility just in time for the qualifying races to begin. She hurried up to the stands, with the bouquet of lilies (Emily's favorite) that she had stopped for along the way. Hanna watched as Emily made her way out of the locker room and began her pre-swim warm-ups. She looked beautiful, like always, and it brought tears into Hanna's eyes. She couldn't believe how stupid she had been to walk away from someone so amazing._

 _Hanna sat quietly and watched the various qualifying races. As expected, Emily swam several of her personal bests. There were so many swimmers there that it was hard to tell if Emily's times would hold strong, but Hanna had faith that they would._

 _As the last group of girls for the 500m butterfly, Emily's strongest swim, stepped up to the blocks, Hanna held her breath. Emily's time was sitting on the bubble. If any of these last girls put a time that beat hers, she wouldn't qualify._

 _The race was over quickly and Hanna's eyes were glued to the score boards waiting for the times to be posted. Hanna felt herself jump out of her seat when the results were in and Emily had qualified. As she stood in the stands, cheering for Emily, she watched as Emily and the other girls celebrated._

 _Hanna slowly began to sit back down as realization struck her. She hadn't seen Emily that happy in a long time. The last year or so had taken such a toll on both of them that she couldn't remember that last time that she saw Emily really smile, the kind of smile that actually hit her eyes._

 _Hanna sat quietly in the stands, as she watched the rest of the meet and saw Emily qualify for several more events, including the US women's team relay, which Hanna knew was her ultimate dream._

 _Hanna was happy for her, but heartbroken as well. She knew if she waited for Emily after the meet and somehow convinced her to take her back, it wouldn't be fair to Emily, or even to herself._

 _They both had dreams for the future, and they both had to sacrifice so much for the other to have it. Maybe too much. Love wasn't supposed to be this hard._

 _Hanna left the lilies in the back seat of the taxi that took her straight back to the airport._

 _[End flashback]_

Early the next morning, Hanna woke up to find Emily still cuddled against her. They had slept the whole night in each other's arms. Hanna hated to break the contact, but she needed to use the bathroom.

She quietly and gently turned Emily over onto her back as she slid her arm out from underneath Emily's head. As Hanna opened the door for the bathroom, she looked back at Emily. She could see Emily shift, missing the warmth and comfort that Hanna's body had provided, but Hanna was pleased to see that she did not wake up.

While she was in the bathroom, Paige burst into the room, waking Emily in the process.

"Oh thank God, you're OK!" Paige exclaimed as she rushed to Emily's bed-side.

"P-Paige? Hey…" Emily said tiredly and confused as she looked around the room for Hanna.

"I'm so sorry! My phone died last night at the party and I didn't see Spencer's text until this morning." Paige explained loudly enough for Hanna to overhear as she was exiting the bathroom.

"Umm..well I should go and let you guys be alone" Hanna offered, unsure of whether Emily's confessions from the night before were how she really felt or if it was just the drugs talking. But either way, there was something she needed to do before she could have the conversation with Emily that she needed to.

"Oh, hey Hanna…thanks for being here for her. I'm sorry, I was just telling Emily that my phone died last night and I only got the news this morning. I really appreciate you being here for Emily." Paige said sincerely as she extended her arms to hug Hanna.

Hanna allowed Paige to awkwardly hug her, mostly because she was afraid that it would be too suspicious if she didn't. As Paige hugged her, she could see the apology on Emily's face. She wasn't sure though whether Emily was apologizing for Paige's interruption, or the whispered confessions that they had shared with each other.

"I mean it. You're a really good friend." Paige added as she released Hanna from the hug.

"Anytime." Hanna responded, more to Emily than to Paige. Wanting Emily to know that while she hadn't always been there for her in the past, she would be from now on.

Emily watched as Hanna walked out the door and tried her best to focus her attention on Paige. The night with Hanna had been amazing, but it didn't change the reality of their situation. Hanna was still engaged to be married, to someone else. As hard as it would be, Emily needed to let Hanna go. She needed to move on from Hanna.

As Hanna left the hospital room, she felt sure of herself for the first time, in a long time. She finally knew what she wanted and what needed to be done. Hanna checked her phone for the time. It was early, but if she hurried, she could be in New York before Jordan left for his morning meetings. If she was going to break his heart, she had to do this in person.


	23. Chapter 23

Emily watched as Hanna walked out the door and tried her best to focus her attention on Paige. The night with Hanna had been amazing, but it didn't change the reality of their situation. Hanna was still engaged to be married, to someone else. As hard as it would be, Emily needed to let Hanna go. She couldn't keep holding onto her past, she needed to move on.

After Hanna left, Paige climbed into Emily's hospital bed, next to her. Just like Hanna had, she put her arm behind Emily's head so that Emily could rest in the crook of her shoulder. Emily tried her best to get comfortable, shifting to find the best spot, but it didn't come as easily as it had with Hanna.

Emily tried to push that thought out of her mind. _Paige was here. Paige was here for her and was hers. Hanna wasn't._

"How did this happen? Spencer said the fireplace malfunctioned?" Paige asked, confused why this is the second "malfunction" that's happened to Emily in the last several weeks.

"Umm, yeah I guess. It's supposed to be some kind of 'smart loft' but I guess the system went haywire and I was standing too closer to the fireplace." Emily responded softly, feeling guilty for piling on yet another lie.

"Em…come on… You know you can tell me anything…" Paige pushed, suspecting there was more to this series of events than what Emily had been telling her.

"You're right. I'm sorry… There is something you need to see." Emily confessed as she reached for her phone to show Paige the text that Emily had received the night before.

When Emily had woken up in the middle of the night from her phone's buzzing, she carefully reached for it to check the message, which she assumed was from Paige, and she hadn't wanted to wake Hanna in the process. She had planned to show Hanna that morning but hadn't really had the time once Paige arrived.

 _I know you know who did it. Give me the killer by Election night or I'll do more than light a fire under your ass. [Devil emoji] -_ Blocked

After showing Paige the text, Emily began explaining how ever since Charlotte's death, someone new had been torturing them, looking for information on the killer. She felt relieved to finally be honest with Paige, at least about this one thing.

"Em, you have to tell the police that this is happening again. They can help!" Paige responded more forcefully than she meant to, trying to push Emily to do the right thing.

"You don't understand. You weren't here when it happened last time. Getting the police involved doesn't help, it only makes it worse." Emily responded quietly, as a nurse came in to check on her. "I am working on a plan though." she added softly.

Emily was thankful for the distraction, as it changed the subject. She knew Paige wouldn't like the plan that she plotted out earlier that morning, but she wasn't ready to share just yet. She needed to talk to Caleb to work out the kinks before she was ready to fill anyone else in on it. She knew it was dangerous, but they had to do something. This couldn't continue, they needed to get back to their lives.

By the time the nurse left, Paige was more concerned with the home-care instructions for Emily's burns than Emily's mention of a "plan." She carefully reviewed all of the papers the nurse had handed her and insisted that Emily come stay with her while she recovered.

Knowing that things with her mother were still tense, Emily agreed to stay with Paige for the next few days. Plus she would much prefer Paige to be the one applying the ointment over her burns than her mother.

Once released from the hospital, Paige had driven them straight back to The Radley once Emily had been released from the hospital. She immediately set Emily up in the bed and put on an old movie that she knew Emily liked when she left to run to the drug store. Emily shouldn't have been surprised that Paige was an excellent caregiver, after all, she wanted to be a doctor. But Emily was impressed with how attentive and nurturing she was with her.

When Paige came back a half an hour later, she had dozens of bags draped over her arms. She had bought all the supplies that were needed to care for Emily's burns, but also all of Emily's favorite snacks as well. Paige went above and beyond, buying things that Emily was surprised she had remembered from when they were just teenagers.

While she watched Paige empty the bags, she realized how much Paige cared for her. Paige had always cared for Emily and held a special place in her heart for her. Emily realized sadly she hadn't been fair to Paige, that she hadn't done the same for her.

Paige was amazing, beautiful, caring, and best of all, actually available. And somehow, despite Emily always putting her second to Hanna, Paige still wanted her.

As Emily continued to watch Paige, she decided in that moment that she wanted to be all-in with Paige. She was going to finally force herself to move on from Hanna and try to have something real with Paige, even if that meant eventually moving to Chicago. She couldn't keep waiting for someone that wasn't coming, that wasn't available. It was time to move on and she didn't want to miss out an opportunity with someone like Paige.

But before she could do any of that, she knew she needed to put an end to these threats. She couldn't start this new life with Paige and still be constantly haunted by her past. This new A/Sarah/whoever clearly wasn't playing around and so neither would she.

Finally several hours later, Paige decided she was going to go for a run when she thought Emily was napping. As soon as Paige left, Emily reached for her phone and texted Caleb to meet her at the hotel.

Thankfully he agreed to meet her in the lobby in fifteen minutes.

"Has anyone else seen this?" Caleb asked as Hanna showed him the text message she had gotten the night before from Sarah/A/whoever.

"Only Paige. I haven't shown the others because I didn't want to worry them." Emily said as Caleb shot her a disapproving look. "I know, I know…but look, whoever this is, is not going wait until election night. Look at what they have done to me." Emily said as she pointed to her bandaged arms. "They are going to keep chipping away until there is nothing left. We have too much too lose."

"So, why are you coming to me?" Caleb asked sincerely. He wasn't trying to push her away, but Emily and Caleb weren't exactly close. The only common link they shared was Hanna and Spencer.

"Because you're the only one who can help me with this. Also, I know you would do anything to keep Spencer safe. She could be next on the 'hit list.'" Emily answered matter-of-factly, before continuing. "I thought about this a lot last night and today. The only way to prevent any more accidents is to call their bluff. We have to tell them we are ready to give them what they want."

"But what they want is Charlotte's killer." Caleb responded, confused because he had no idea who had killed Charlotte that night.

"Right..and that's what we'll give them." Emily responded with a firm nod. The plan was in motion.

* * *

As Hanna left the hospital room that morning, she felt sure of herself for the first time in a long time. She finally knew what she wanted and what needed to be done. Hanna didn't have her car at the hospital, so she had to wait for an Uber, which seemed to take forever.

She decided to go straight to the train station. Driving during morning rush out would take much longer than the train. And she needed to have this conversation as soon as possible. And it needed to be in person.

Once she arrived at Grand Central, she jumped in the first cab she could find and raced towards the apartment she shared with Jordan. She knew she would be cutting it close, but she was thankful to see that Jordan's company car was still parked outside, which meant he hadn't left for work yet.

As she entered the apartment, she paused for a second to regain her composure. She needed to be as clear and direct as possible.

"Hanna?! What are you doing here?" Jordan asked as he choked on the sip of coffee had had taken as she had walked through the door.

"We need to talk." Hanna responded.

"I know…I've been cold these last few days. I'm sorry…I was just hurt that you hadn't told me…" Jordan began his apology, as Hanna tried to cut him off.

"Jordan, please don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. I did, I'm the one who lied." Hanna explained.

"I know, but the more I thought about it, I understand. It's one of those things that can be hard to talk about. But it meant so much to me when you agreed that she shouldn't stay at the loft…" Jordan said as Hanna cut him off again.

"No…I mean yes, I did lie about my history with Emily. But, I've been lying to you. When you asked me if I still had feelings for her...I lied." Hanna said quickly, trying to keep her resolve up.

"Oh…" Jordan said quietly as the reality of what Hanna was saying was starting to hit him.

"I'm so sorry. But having her back in my life these last few weeks...I thought I was over her, I did." Hanna said with tears in her eyes. "But I realized that I never really stopped loving her. And you deserve so much better than that…better than me…." She said softly removing the engagement ring from her finger.

Jordan watched her remove the ring from her finger looking broken, but took it from her when Hanna offered it to him.

"I don't know what to say. I mean, I saw... I remember how heartbroken you were when we first met." Jordan said playing with the ring. "You don't get over someone when you love them like that, I guess."

Hanna felt horrible, but she knew she made the right decision. It wouldn't be fair to either one of them if she continued things with Jordan. It was clear to her now that she did love Emily, but she hated the idea of hurting him. He had been good to her and she knew he didn't deserve this. Especially when he had no idea it was coming.

Hanna was exhausted, but couldn't stay in their apartment a moment longer. She quickly packed a bag of some essentials and decided that she would have to come back for the rest later.

She hopped on the next train back to Rosewood and didn't look back. While she hadn't wanted to hurt Jordan, she knew what needed to be done before she could move forward with the life that she wanted, a life with Emily.

When Hanna returned to the loft, she was surprised to find Lucas there, fiddling with the 'smart loft' system.

"So I updated the firmware and I took the fireplace offline until I can replace this controller. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened but it will not happen again." Lucas said as he saw her entering the apartment.

"Lucas you did not need to come back here just for that. Spencer was able to shut down the system." Hanna responded, feeling bad if he flew back just for that. After all, he had been doing her a favor by even allowing her to stay there, especially now that she didn't have an apartment or fiancé to fall back on.

"I would have. But I had to be here anyway. I'm checking out some property in the area." Lucas responded. A smile came across his face as he saw that she wasn't wearing her oversized engagement ring today.

"A house?" Hanna asked, trying to keep the conversation on topic as she saw Lucas look at her ring-less left hand.

"No, those empty factories and mills past the lake. My accountants are telling me to spend money and if I can do something with those old dinosaurs, why not?" Lucas responded, wanting to respect Hanna's privacy but still impress her. He had always had a thing for her, but she always seemed to be in a relationship.

"Aww local boy makes good." Hanna said with a genuine smile.

"Yeah a little of that. But maybe I'm giving this town a second chance." Lucas said as he blushed at Hanna's compliment.

"I know what you mean. When we finally got out of here, it was so fast. We didn't realize what we left behind…" Hanna trailed off as she thought about Emily and their whispered confessions in the hospital. She couldn't wait to see Emily again and tell her everything she had held back that night.

Lucas sighed to himself quietly. He had seen Hanna in enough Emily-inspired trances to know what she was thinking about. He was disappointed, but not at all surprised. Those two seemed to always find their way back to one another.

"So, I will bring the new controller over tonight. If there is anything that Emily needs, let me know." Lucas said as he left Hanna to her day dreams.

As Hanna said goodbye to Lucas and thanked him for all his help, her phone buzzed in her purse.

 _Hey...I need to talk to you…Can I meet you at the loft in an hour?_ \- Emily

Hanna smiled as she replied back to Emily. This was the moment she was waiting for...


	24. Chapter 24

_Hey...I need to talk to you…Can I meet you at the loft in an hour?_ \- Emily

Hanna smiled as she replied back to Emily. This was the moment she was waiting for…

Or at least she thought it was until she went to answer the door and discovered that Emily hadn't come alone.

"Uh…hey guys…what's going on?" Hanna asked, clearly confused as to why Paige and Caleb were also showing up so late at night.

"Emily has something she needs to tell you." Caleb chimed in.

Hanna looked at Emily and saw tears begin to form in Emily's eyes. A million fears began running through Hanna's mind, but none of them seemed to make sense. The most logical would have been that she had told Paige all about their kiss and their night in the hospital, and that she was now here to break her heard. But even that still wouldn't explain Caleb's prescence.

"Em? What's wrong?" Hanna finally asked.

"That night…at the hotel when I drank too much. You guys put me to bed early, but I woke up a few hours later after you had fallen asleep. I followed Aria and Ezra. I saw them in the square…and then I saw Charlotte go into the church." Emily began as Hanna waited for the story to continue, unsure of what Emily as trying to tell her.

"I went in after here. She was sitting there, alone. Praying." Emily paused taking a deep breath before continuing. "I picked up a candlestick and I stabbed her in the back of the neck with the end of it." Emily confessed as Hanna's face fell in horror. Tears began forming in her eyes, matching those in Emily's that were on the brink of spilling over.

"And then I took her to the bell tower and threw her off... I-I-I just couldn't take it. The idea of her walking around, free, after everything she did to us…." Emily continued. "Then I went back to the hotel and snuck back in bed before anyone noticed I was gone."

"It was me. I murdered Charlotte." Emily finished, allowing the tears to finally stream down her cheeks.

Hanna felt the world falling apart around her. _How could this be true? How could Emily have done this? How can I protect her from this?_

As a million thoughts began racing through Hanna's mind, Emily wiped her tears and changed her expression turned from shame and fear to calm with a hint of smugness.

"See, she believed it. And if **she** believed it, even for a minute…" Emily said as she turned towards Paige and Caleb who had been skeptical of Emily's plan.

"What the hell just happened?!" Hanna shouted, louder than she meant to.

"Emily knows how we can end this." Caleb chimed in from the spot he had claimed on the kitchen barstool.

"And if anyone asks, you didn't erase that tape because Aria was on it. You erased it because I was on it. OK?" Emily stated more than actually asked.

Now that Emily had proven that she was a good enough actress to pull this off, she stopped and the three of them explained the plan to Hanna.

Emily hadn't wanted to involve Paige, given how dangerous the game they were playing was, but Paige had come back early from her run and overheard Emily and Caleb talking in the lobby. Paige hated the idea from the beginning, but since she was the only one who wasn't around the last time they were all terrorized, she didn't feel like she had much of a leg to stand on argument-wise.

Paige did have concerns about the believability of the story though. While she didn't like to admit it, she knew that Hanna cold read Emily better than anyone, so it had been her idea to test out the story.

Emily hadn't wanted to, because she knew it would hurt Hanna, but she knew they would eventually need her to be part of the alibi since she had erased the surveillance footage, so she begrudgingly went along with it.

"This whole thing sounds crazy!" Hanna exclaimed. She didn't like the idea of Emily putting herself in danger.

"We are essentially building a rat trap." Emily explained.

"And you're the cheese?!" Hanna asked incredulously. She shook her head, not accepting that this was their only option.

"We have to do something unexpected to throw them off balance." Caleb tried to explain.

"Ok, so what if she confesses and they order her to march into the police station and tell Tanner?" Paige asked, finding herself pleased that Hanna was as skeptical of the plan as she was.

"You think this person has gone through all this trouble just to turn her over to the cops? This is about revenge, not justice." Caleb answered.

"It still sounds crazy." Paige and Hanna both said separately.

"Yes, we have established that, but Caleb and I have this all figured out." Emily responded as she stood up to go out on the balcony to get some air, growing frustrated with the lack of support from both Paige and Hanna.

Hanna was still reeling from Emily's fake confession and found herself desperately needing a glass of wine. She made her way to the kitchen, hoping to also have some time to collect her thoughts, but Paige followed her.

"What do you think about this?" Paige asked Hanna quietly as Hanna poured herself a very large glass of wine.

Hanna just shrugged, unsure of what to say and not really feeling like saying anything to Paige. She needed some time to think, to catch her breath. Hanna thought of Emily's confession the night before meant that she was going to end things with Paige, but considering they were both at her apartment, she doubted that was the case.

 _How could I be so stupid?_ Hanna thought to herself before being interrupted by Paige, yet again.

"Can this even work?" Paige asked.

"Possibly. But that's not even the point. Emily has the plan and Caleb has the know-how. If we don't back them up they are just going to do it themselves." Hanna said as she finished the wine she had just poured and reached for the bottle to pour another glass.

"Do you think Emily is aware of the risk she is taking?" Paige asked, not catching on to Hanna's obvious annoyance with her.

It took all of Hanna's strength to not roll her eyes at Paige as she responded. It was clear that Paige knew very little about Emily and how strong willed she can be when she's backed against a wall. It was something that Hanna knew all too well.

"Yeah…she knows." Hanna said as she took another sip of wine.

"And you're just going to let them run with this?" Paige pushed further. She had been hoping that Hanna would be able to talk some sense into Emily.

"What do you expect me to do? You're her girlfriend, not me." Hanna said, more harshly than she had meant to, but she didn't really care. Hanna was over the conversation.

The night had gone much differently than she had envisioned and she basically had nothing. Eventually, Hanna grabbed the half empty wine bottle and headed out to the balcony for some air, once Emily had come back inside.

While Hanna was outside, Emily had texted the others so she could fill them in on the plan. By the time Hanna returned, Spencer, Aria, and Ezra were all sitting in the living room with looks of concern written all over their faces. Hanna left her now empty bottle of wine in the kitchen and moved towards the couch to join the others.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Spencer asked. She didn't particular like the plan, but it had potential. Her concern though was not the feasibility, but that Emily would be putting herself in a lot of danger by being the bait.

"I wouldn't have thought of it if I didn't." Emily responded.

"Look guys this isn't a democracy. We aren't taking votes. This is Emily's plan and all you need to decide is if you're going to help us." Caleb added, trying not to show his frustration with all of the criticism.

Caleb's words hung in the air for several seconds. No one on the couch dared to move or speak, until Hanna finally broke the silence.

"Nobody here is going to let you do this by yourself."

Emily's face lit up with a smile that was larger than she intended. She was nervous about the plan but was happy that Hanna at least had her back. She knew that Hanna could get everyone else on board. She had always been good at bending people to her will.

"Alright. So let's get started." Emily announced as she reached for her phone to send the text that would put the plan in motion. There was no going back now.

 _Leave my friends alone. I killed Charlotte._ \- Emily


	25. Chapter 25

_Leave my friends alone. I killed Charlotte._ – Emily

The group waited in nervous silence for Sarah/A/whoever to respond. When the sound of a new message alert filled the room, everyone's hearts stopped beating for a split second and the tension in the air was palpable.

"Guys relax, it was my phone. It's just Alison. She just wanted us to know that she's on her way home from their honeymoon. I guess, there was a change of plans. Elliott has to leave for Chicago in the morning." Spencer responded as she read over Alison's long text.

"She shouldn't be alone. None of you should." Ezra responded quickly. It was clear that he still felt protective of the girls even though he and Aria weren't together anymore.

Another message alert chimed in, instantly changing the subject from Alison to the matter at hand.

 _If you are lying, I shoot you._ – Blocked

"Em, it's not too late, we can still back out…" Paige pleaded with Emily.

Before responding, Emily typed a message back to the unknown number.

 _I'm not lying. I'll call the cops._ \- Emily

"Look at everything that's happened. It won't be long before one of us ends up in a casket. I need you to trust me on this…" Emily responded to Paige and the others, feeling the need to once again reassure the group of her plan.

"I trust you." Hanna responded almost instantly. Her response was so quick that it took many of the group by surprise, especially Emily. Emily turned from Paige and towards Hanna to give her an appreciative smile as they locked eyes for a brief moment.

"Em, I do too…" Paige responded, a moment too late because Emily wasn't paying attention anymore.

Instead, she continued to look at Hanna as her mind filled with memories of Hanna's unwavering faith in her. Hanna trusted her when it came to just about anything and she found herself so lost in those thoughts that she didn't bother to acknowledge Paige's response.

While she wanted so badly to ignore the past and even present feelings she had for Hanna, it seemed like an impossible feat. She couldn't ignore the wave of affection and longing she felt at that moment.

While Emily was lost in her trance, Spencer and Aria exchanged knowing and worried looks. They had seen this behavior before between Hanna and Emily. As the silence stretched on, it seemed to confirm their suspicions. Thankfully Paige was so pre-occupied with her worry over the plan; she hadn't noticed Emily's strange behavior.

Hanna noticed the attention, but chose to overlook it. She couldn't ignore the warm feeling that spread over her when Emily had locked eyes with her, but she was hurt and frustrated by the mixed signals she was getting from Emily. When Emily had arrived with Paige who she was clearly still involved with, Hanna felt her heart sink. Hanna had hoped that they were finally getting back to a place where they could be them again, but she clearly had misread the situation. _Maybe it really was Emily's painkillers talking_ , Hanna thought to herself as she opened another bottle of wine.

Emily continued to watch Hanna from across the room and her trance was only broken when another text came through. Emily, clearly startled, fumbled for her phone.

 _No cops. This is between you and me._ – Blocked

 _I need one more day._ – Emily

 _It will be your last._ \- Blocked

The ominous tone of Sarah/A/whoever's final text left the group feeling even more uneasy than they were before. This was a very dangerous game they were about to play and Emily's safety was at risk.

While everyone's nerves were high, Caleb did his best to distract the group by beginning to talk logistics of how the plan will actually work and what everyone's role needed to be to pull it off.

"OK, so I will definitely need your help, Ezra, setting up the electric fence and the lights around The Lost Woods Resort. We also need a few people to be at The Radley to try to figure out what Sarah is looking for in the old Radley Sanitarium basement." Caleb said as he unrolled the blue prints he and Spencer had "borrowed" from the public records office.

"Hey guys…there is something missing on the new hotel blue prints. It looks like it might be a records room or something in the East Wing of the old Radley." Paige chimed in as she picked up the blueprints from the coffee table to examine them closer.

"You know about this kind of stuff? We've been staring at these for days and couldn't figure it out what Sarah has been searching for." Spencer asked.

"Yeah, I mean my dad is an architect so I've been looking at blue prints since before I could read." Paige responded.

"This is great! Okay Paige, I need you to go with Spencer tomorrow. With Spencer's mom's election party at The Radley, it'll be a scene over here. It'll be the perfect cover for you guys to sneak down to the basement and check it out."

"Umm, OK. I can do that." Paige responded tentatively. She had really hoped to be with Emily and to be the one keeping her safe. But she knew her skills were far more valuable with Spencer than hiding out in the woods watching Emily through a pair of binoculars.

"Perfect. That leaves the rest of us to get the fence and room at The Lost Woods ready for tomorrow…" Caleb started in, giving the rest of the assignments to the group.

Emily was listening so intently, she hadn't noticed Paige stand up and join Hanna in the kitchen.

"Hey, Hanna? Can I talk to you for a second?" Paige asked, trying to get Hanna's attention as she poured another large glass of wine from a freshly opened bottle.

"Hmm?" Hanna asked, barely bothering to acknowledge Paige's presence.

"Look, this might be a strange request, especially coming from me… And I know you and Emily have a long history, but seeing how you were with Emily after the fireplace incident, I know you still care for her…" Paige began, finally catching Hanna's attention enough for her to set her glass of wine down and focus on what Paige was saying.

"I guess what I'm asking is if you can be there tomorrow for _her_. Not the plan, for her. Caleb is so focused on catching this monster, that I'm worried that it will take priority over Emily's safety." Paige continued.

"I won't let anything happen to her." Hanna softly interrupted her, silently agreeing to Paige's request. She would never let anything happen to Emily, she couldn't.

It was probably the single most since statement she had ever uttered. Hanna would do anything to protect Emily, even if Emily decided in the end that she wants Paige, instead of her. If Emily really wanted a future with Paige, Hanna would make sure she had one. As long as she was safe and happy, that would have to be enough for Hanna.

 _[The next morning]_

Emily had woken up early when she got a text from Aria. She hadn't wanted to disturb Paige, so she was quietly packing her bag of supplies and getting ready for the big day ahead of them.

As Emily exited the bathroom from her shower, Paige began to wake up but found herself too engrossed in watching Emily drop her towel and slowly begin getting dressed to say anything.

Finally as she watched Emily slide on a tight pair of black jeans over a lacy thong, Paige couldn't help herself.

"Can you even wear underwear with jeans that tight?" Paige joked, alerting Emily to her.

Emily couldn't help at smile at Paige's comment. She turned to walk towards the bed and sat down on the edge, next to Paige.

"Do you disapprove?" Emily asked flirtatiously.

"No, I definitely do not." Paige responded quickly, "But it makes me wish I was spending the night with you at this election party rather than pretending to hang out with Spencer just to sneak into an old nut house basement."

"It'll all be over soon, I promise." Emily said as she moved her hand to Paige's arm to silently reassure her. "But I need to go soon, I'm sorry. Aria asked me if I could help her watch Ali for a bit. I guess she's been having weird dreams or something from this new medication she's on. Plus, I need to stop by my mom's to make it look like I'm saying my final goodbye, so it's on the way anyway."

"Ok, well…be safe, OK? And stay in touch with me?" Paige asked as she pulled Emily down for a kiss.

Emily kissed her back and nodded in agreement, before standing up and grabbing her bag to leave the hotel room.

"Em..." Paige said as Emily began opening the door, "…I love you…"

Emily couldn't help but smile at Paige's words of adoration, but as much as she wanted to, she couldn't find the words to say it back. Thankfully, before it became obvious that Emily was unsure of how to respond, Paige interrupted.

"Go…I'll call you later." Paige said, knowing that if the plan worked that way Emily and Caleb planned, they'd have plenty of time for 'I love you's' and maybe even talks of moving to Chicago.

Emily was thankful for Paige's understanding. She cared deeply for Paige, and she did want to love her, but she wasn't sure if she was there yet, especially with everything with Hanna. There was always this nagging feeling in the back of her mind. And even more so, she wasn't sure what other kinds of commitment came with saying it back.

Emily was distracted when she finally arrived at Alison's house. She had been to the house a million times, so she didn't bother ringing the doorbell and just let herself in. Once inside the house, she found Aria sitting in the living room with a cup of coffee and a very large stack of papers.

"Hey…where is Ali?" Emily asked quietly, as the house seemed strangely calm and quiet.

"I finally got her to go back to sleep. She was having these crazy dreams last night of her mother.. as a zombie. She called me panicking, knowing I was the closest. I've been here all night…" Aria responded, filling Emily in on the situation.

"Wow, are those dreams from those pain meds? Maybe she should stop taking them." Emily asked.

"Yeah, she tossed them last night. Hopefully, once they are out of her system, she'll be back to normal. I haven't told her anything about the plan. I don't think she needs to know…" Aria explained quietly.

"I agree. She has enough to deal with and Sarah/A/whoever clearly doesn't think she's involved because she hasn't been targeted the way the rest of us have. It's better just to keep her in the dark. Hopefully it'll all be over soon." Emily answered quietly in agreement.

Unknown to both Aria and Emily, Alison had woken up when she heard the door open and Emily arrive. She quietly snuck out of her room and into the hallway, trying to eavesdrop on the girls' conversation. She knew that they were hiding something from her. She had been suspicious of them since Charlotte was killed. She had even hosted that dinner party, hoping to get one of them to slip up, but no one gave her anything to go on. Something wasn't right though, she knew it, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

"Hey Em, thank you for doing this… You're a lot braver than I am." Aria said quietly.

Alison grew frustrated because the girls were speaking so quietly that she couldn't hear anything, so she decided to go back to her bedroom. She didn't like feeling like she was on the outside looking in, like she was no longer an active participant in her own life.

"Don't thank me yet. Let's save that for tomorrow when this finally over." Emily responded as she reached for the manuscript in front of Aria, trying to keep the conversation light.

"Aria…wow, this book seems incredible. Why are you so nervous about it?" Emily asked. She had only read the first few pages and could already tell it was amazing.

"I'm not nervous about the book being good. I'm nervous about what Liam will think of it." Aria confessed.

"Oh, because you just wrote a love story about a guy you used to be in love with, and who you clearly still have feelings for, by the way, about his dead ex-girlfriend? You couldn't have picked a more complicated situation to get into." Emily teased looking over the pages at Aria.

"Shut up…you're one to talk about complicated. What's going on in your Triangle? You may be with Paige, but I saw the way you looked at Hanna last night. And how she was with you at her bridal shower and at the hospital…" Aria teased back with an edge of seriousness to her voice. She had been trying to find a way to bring up the topic of the obvious tension between the two former lovers.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Emily lied, unconvincingly. "Besides, Paige told me she loved me this morning." Emily added avoiding Aria's eyes. There was a moment of silence between them before Aria finally spoke up.

"Look, Em. I am not trying to meddle or get in the middle of anything, okay? I mean, I think Paige seems great. And if you love her, I will be nothing but supportive and happy for you… But, I think you should know that Hanna broke up with Jordan…right after you were in the hospital." Aria said quietly, slightly worried about betraying Hanna's trust.

Both, Aria and Spencer had noticed Hanna's strange behavior and excessive drinking the night before, so they decided that before leaving, they were going to confront her about it. Before they had a chance to say anything, they noticed she wasn't wearing her engagement ring. Hanna saw them looking at her empty ring ringer and silently confirmed that they had broken up. She had refused to go into more detail, but both Spencer and Aria suspected it had something to do with Emily, given the timing.

Emily found herself speechless at Aria's words. She had no idea that they had broken up. _Why wouldn't Hanna have told me? Did she do this because of me? What does this mean? Does she still love me? Do I still love her? What about Paige? Do I love her?_ Emily had a million thoughts running through her head.

Before she was able to formulate enough of a response to say something, the two girls were interrupted by Alison's blood curdling scream coming from the back bedroom.


	26. Chapter 26

The night was finally here, the night that would hopefully end this new reign of A. Or rather, A-moji which Caleb had cleverly named he/she/it/them.

"Do you need anything Em?" Aria asked a surprisingly calm Emily.

Aria was nervous, she had been watching Emily all day and it was clear that Emily wasn't entirely focused on the plan. She had been distracted all day and Aria was worried. She wasn't sure what was bothering Emily, but whatever it was, it was clear that it was weighing heavily on Emily's mind. Aria couldn't tell if it was because she knew the truth about Hanna and Jordan, or that she was concerned about whatever was wrong with Alison. Maybe, she was just nervous about the plan itself?

"A whiskey and diet would nice" Emily joked looking over at Aria.

"Umm…I think I brought water." Aria responded as she rummaged in her purse, clearly not having caught on to Emily's attempt at humor.

Hanna smiled at Emily's joke, wondering to herself how Emily could be so calm. She continued to busy herself with boarding up the last of the windows, as the door opened and Ezra came into the room.

"Ok, we need to run a full test of the perimeter and the strobe lights. Aria, can you give us a hand? You're the only one small enough to reach some of the sensors?" Ezra asked. Aria silently agreed and followed him out of the motel room.

Once alone in the motel room, the tension between the two former lovers was thick. Hanna tried to distract herself by finishing the windows, while Emily sat on the bed staring at her hands. Finally, Hanna decided to break the uncomfortable silence that hung in the air between them.

"You're really brave…you know that?" Hanna said more of a statement than a question.

"Someone had to do it." Emily responded matter-of-factly.

"It didn't have to be you." Hanna responded softly, fidgeting with the hammer in her hand. She placed it down on the bedside table as she moved closer to Emily.

Emily just shrugged. She was still distracted from Paige's confession, but even more so by what Aria had told her that morning about Hanna and Jordan. She kept finding herself wanting to stare at Hanna's ring-less left hand. It took all of her will power not to be obvious or bring it up. But it was proving difficult for her to ignore all the questions that were running through her mind.

As the silence continued, Hanna grew frustrated of Emily's lack of interaction. She was being distant and it bothered Hanna. Emily was putting herself in this life threatening situation to protect them all and there was so much that could go wrong. _What if something happened to Emily and they couldn't protect her?_ It's not like Emily had to do this, but Hanna wasn't in the position to ask her otherwise. Hanna couldn't help but feel that there was still so much that was unsaid between them.

"Is this really going to work?" Hanna finally asked, needing to say something to break the silence.

"This will work. I Promise." Emily said, noticing Hanna's visible apprehension, "Han...come on. Have I ever let you down?" Emily asked softly fidgeting with her hands looking up at Hanna.

"No..." Hanna responded softly, but there was clearly something else she wanted to say. After a long pause, she continued speaking, "But I've let you down…"

"What do you mean?" Emily asked softly, confused as to what Hanna was referring to.

"The night of our big fight…The night we broke up." Hanna said nervously. She wanted to clear the air, in case something happened and she would never get the chance. But now that she had brought it up, she could feel her heart racing a million miles an hour.

"You made a difficult choice." Emily responded, unsure of what she was supposed to say.

"There is something you don't know…" Hanna added as Emily waited for her to continue. Hanna took a deep breath and sat down on the bed next to Emily. She decided that it was now or never, so she began recounting the story of that night.

How she had left, but realized on her way to the airport that she was making the biggest mistake of her life. How she went back to the hotel to find it empty. And how she even flew to Omaha to beg Emily to take her back, to only end up alone in the cab back to the airport, because she knew Emily deserved to be happy and that Hanna wasn't the one to make her happy anymore.

"If I had just come back a little earlier, or never left, things might be so different now." Hanna finished her confession. Emily, stunned by Hanna's words, sat still next to her on the bed.

"Yeah…they might be." Emily said as her head began spinning. She was overwhelmed with what Hanna was telling her. She had always thought that Hanna chose her job over her and never looked back. That Hanna had put her own happiness before Emily's, but now everything she had thought was true, really wasn't. She didn't know what to do or how to react to this new information.

"…I never stopped loving you…" Hanna confessed quietly, with tears in her eyes, as she looked down at her own hands. It was true, but she was terrified to say the words. Terrified that Emily wouldn't, or couldn't, feel the same way about her any more.

Hanna was startled when she felt Emily's hand softly wipe away a tear that was falling down her cheek.

Emily felt like she was on autopilot, something inside of her had switched over. She was overcome with emotions from Hanna's confession and words of adoration. The emotions running through her own body clouded any rational thoughts and she was now just acting on instinct.

Emily pulled Hanna's face towards hers gently and lightly pressed her lips against Hanna's, taking the blonde by surprise. Hanna's head was swimming, feeling Emily's lips on hers. They had shared a few kisses since coming back to Rosewood, but this one was different.

This kiss silently symbolized what both girls had always felt. That they should have never been apart and that they were, in fact, meant to be together. Emily's tightened her grip on Hanna, tilting her head to the side, she deepened the kiss.

The softness of their initial kiss quickly turned into a mixture of passion, longing, and need. Both girls began to pull and tug at each other; perhaps out of fear. Fear of what this meant, fear of what they were doing, fear of it all going away. Maybe they were afraid of those they would hurt along their journey, but most of all, fear of this plan and that Emily was putting herself in grave danger.

Soon both girls' heads were swimming in desire, no longer able to comprehend rational thoughts or even entertain ideas of slowing things down. Emily continued to take charge, pushing Hanna back on to the bed. Emily quickly straddled Hanna's hips, making quick work of taking off Hanna's jacket and tank top. She was pleasantly surprised to learn that Hanna hadn't been wearing a bra.

Emily paused, hovering over Hanna, wanting to take everything in. The sight of Hanna's body always drove Emily crazy. After marveling the beauty of the blonde beneath her, she leaned down once again capture the blonde's awaiting lips. Emily kisses became more frantic as she kissed along Hanna's jawline to her neck and down. Emily ran her tongue softly down Hanna's chest, as if drawing a line between her breasts.

Hanna had almost forgotten what being with Emily felt like and how well Emily once knew her body. When she felt Emily's mouth on her chest, she instinctually arched her back, desperate for more contact.

Emily smiled as she moved her mouth to one of Hanna's lusciously pink nipples. She drew circles around it with her tongue before finally slipping it into her mouth. Hanna moaned as Emily sucked on the hardened flesh, feeling Emily's teeth lightly graze over it. Emily brought her hand up to Hanna's other breast, wanting to pay attention to both equally. Hanna moved her hand into Emily's hair, tugging gently as she watched Emily worship her breasts.

Hanna's moans became more frantic and louder as Emily teased the blonde underneath her. She could feel Hanna's body begin to grind in rhythm against her own, desperate for more friction and eventual release.

"Please Em…I need you…" Hanna whispered quietly in Emily's ear, gripping at Emily's neck.

Emily didn't need any further encouragement; she knew what Hanna needed and didn't want to tease the blonde any further. Emily broke away from Hanna's breasts to make quick work of the skirt she was wearing, unzipping it quickly and pulling it down her beautiful pale legs, along with her underwear.

As Emily climbed back on top of Hanna, she couldn't help but run her hand across Hanna's aching mound. Hanna bucked her hips, desperate for Emily's touch. She had just about all the teasing she could take and she was also growing frustrated that Emily was still fully clothed while she was now lying naked underneath her, begging for release.

She tugged at Emily's shirt and Emily took the hint. She knelt on the bed, with her legs still positioned between Hanna's, just long enough to pull over her shirt. While doing so, Hanna took the opportunity to unbutton Emily's jeans just enough that she could slip her hand inside.

But before she got the chance, Emily quickly closed the distance between them and kissed Hanna passionately, letting her hand trail down Hanna's naked body, drawing circles on her abdomen and thighs, ever so teasingly. Knowing the blonde couldn't take much more, she dipped her finger softly between Hanna's folds.

Hanna moaned loudly as Emily smiled in appreciation for how wet Hanna was for her. Emily began exploring Hanna, both remembering and relearning every spot that made Hanna squirm and moan beneath her.

As Emily began softly circling Hanna's clit with her index and middle finger, Hanna's breaths became more erratic and her eyes were clenched shut. Emily's touch was overloading her senses.

"E-Em…i-i-inside….p-please…" Hanna begged incoherently.

Emily had seen Hanna close to her breaking point enough times before and knew exactly what she was asking for. She shifted her body slightly down further on Hanna and gently pressed her middle finger against Hanna's opening. Hanna's body frantically pushed against the fingertip, desperately needing it inside her.

Emily finally pushed her finger gently into Hanna. Hanna groaned at the contact but then also as Emily then fully removed it. Before Hanna could protest, she pushed two fingers deep inside to her to replace the initial one. But again she pulled her fingers all the way out, much to Hanna's frustration, before adding a third finger.

The additional finger gave Hanna the fullness she desperately needed and she was thankful when Emily quickened the pace and began pumping inside her.

Emily felt the slightest twinge of jealousy when she learned that two fingers was not going to be enough for Hanna. It had been when they were lovers before and the only difference now was that she had been with Jordan. Emily quickly shook up away thoughts of him and focused on the writhing blonde goddess beneath her.

Even though she had shaken those thoughts away, she couldn't help herself from roughly kissing the tender skin along Hanna's collarbone and neck, leaving small marks, claiming Hanna as hers.

Hanna was almost to her breaking point. She desperately wanted to feel Emily so she reached between them to slide her hand into Emily's jeans. Emily moaned against Hanna's skin when Hanna slipped a finger into her underwear to explore her wetness.

The feeling of being inside Hanna and having Hanna touching her, sent Emily into a frenzy. She quickened her pace inside Hanna, making sure to hit Hanna's g-spot with each new thrust. Hanna clenched the bedspread with her free hand as her other continued exploring Emily.

Soon though the thrusts became too much for Hanna and she succumbed to her impending release.

"O-ohhh…f-f-fuck…yes, E-Em…" Hanna practically shouted into Emily's shoulder as she came harder than she could ever remember before. Seeing Hanna so raw and beautiful gave Emily a small release of her own.

Afterwards, Emily pulled Hanna's now limp hand from inside her jeans and turned her body so that Hanna was lying on her chest, so that she could hold her as she came down from her climax.

Emily did her best to ignore the aching and throbbing between her own legs, wanting a more powerful release than the small one she had, but knowing they probably didn't have much time before the others got back, she was content to just hold the blonde in her arms again.

Hanna was in a state of complete bliss. It took several minutes to even form a coherent thought, let alone attempt to process what had just happened. Being with Emily in that way was amazing, but Emily was still technically with Paige, and she had gotten her hopes up before.

While Hanna wanted nothing more than to lie blissfully in Emily's arms for a few more moments before passionately making love to her in return, Hanna knew they didn't have much time and there was something she needed to know first.

"Em…w-what does this mean?" Hanna stammered, her nerves betraying her.

Before Emily could answer, both girls were startled by a familiar voice right outside the door.

"Alright, that's it. I think we are ready." Ezra said as he reached for the door knob of the motel room.


End file.
